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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

To keep my three nephews up all night?

360 replies

Upfiner · 24/09/2026 21:40

I am having my three nephews over for a sleepover. They’re six, just turned two and five months. The eldest has slept over a few times but not the younger two.

Instead of wrestling them into bed I am planning to let them stay up as late as they like. I’ve always done this with the eldest and he loves it and usually falls asleep at about 10:30pm. I’ll obvious have the baby in his crib but I’ve got a huge corner sofa so I’m going to bring the duvets down and we can just have a slumber party downstairs.

I told my friend who has two sons and she thinks that this will impact their whole week and their schooling and routine and probably exam results and future careers.

I’m not going mad am I? This is fine for one fun evening?

OP posts:
Upfiner · 24/09/2026 22:35

Goinggreymammy · 24/09/2026 22:29

Or even a normal night out and babysit children in their own home? Why does a night out now seem to mean overnight to so many people?

Because she’s away to stay at a country pub where she’ll drink lots of wine and enjoy a good shag, I should imagine.

OP posts:
Goinggreymammy · 24/09/2026 22:35

Upfiner · 24/09/2026 22:19

Well I’m a night owl. The eldest never stayed up screaming and I doubt the two year old would, but if he does so be it. He’d have nothing to scream over though, he can do as he pleases.

Yes.... because 2 year olds need "something to scream about" and if you let them "do as he pleases" they wont cry at all. Have you ever actually cared for a 2 year old before? It sounds like youve only seen them on TV. Toddlers cry because they are tired, lonely, overwhelmed. Or sometimes for no discernible reason. Letting them do as they please isn't going to help with those.

Pinkgin00 · 24/09/2026 22:33

Floppyearedlab · 24/09/2026 22:13

Yeah it’s always a ‘night out’ isn’t it.
What’s wrong with an afternoon date at the weekend until the kids are a bit older?

Oh bore off 🥱

Having one evening away from your children is not a crime.

Upfiner · 24/09/2026 22:32

SoSoLong · 24/09/2026 22:26

Ring SS, this is all you've got to say for yourself? This is prison territory already, hand yourself in.

I am now actually in the jail. Sharing a cell with my sister who is also guilty of neglect for leaving her children cared for whilst having a night out.

OP posts:
Itsabeast · 24/09/2026 22:32

Ok so many parents wouldn’t be happy with this arrangement but also many parents just need a night off for their sanity! People talking about contacting SS are absolutely clueless about the hideous lives that many children live who definitely need SS intervention!
This scenario would not be on SS radar for any reason. The children are safe,fed and loved .

Federica1864 · 24/09/2026 22:32

Upfiner · 24/09/2026 22:24

I’m definitely not going to bed at the same time as children.

I only meant if you want to be in the same room at the 5 month old the whole time. By the time mine were that age I put them to bed in their cribs in my room and they slept there alone until I went up to bed later. Technically that’s against the sleep guidance which says 6 months I think. If I was looking after someone else’s kids I would probably stick more rigidly to guidance.

Neither of mine by 5 months would sleep in a crib in the living room whilst there was tv, lights, noise going on. That went out the window when they left the newborn phase.

Tomorrowisanewday · 24/09/2026 22:31

Sounds like nights when I had my nephews. Never at a time that would affect them at school, but everything different from their normal time at home. They're 27 and 31 now, both have very responsible jobs, own their own homes, and one of them even has a wife and baby. Sleepovers at Aunty's were mentioned in his wedding speech, so I'm fairly sure they werent traumatised. Crack on, and let them make memories!

WallaceinAnderland · 24/09/2026 22:31

Upfiner · 24/09/2026 21:54

I’ll carry them all up to bed when I go up.

That's fine then. That's not letting them stay up all night, or sleep all night on the sofa, it's just letting them drop off on the sofa. Perfectly normal.

IHopeYouStepOnALegPiece · 24/09/2026 22:30

Goinggreymammy · 24/09/2026 22:29

Or even a normal night out and babysit children in their own home? Why does a night out now seem to mean overnight to so many people?

Because they want a decent nights sleep, a lay in and a really loud shag.

TheLadyGardening · 24/09/2026 22:30

As long as you weren’t preventing them sleeping if they wanted to- plying them with chocolate at 10pm or something, I’d be fine with a night movie and snuggle.

Timeforachange26 · 24/09/2026 22:29

Floppyearedlab · 24/09/2026 22:08

The parent who has farmed out her two very young children plus an older child for her sister to cope with. Why do they need a sleepover? Unless she has had some sort of an emergency, why does a 5 month old need to sleep anywhere other than his own cot in his own home? And same for the 2 year old tbh.

Maybe she wants a night out without them. You may not have any life apart from your kids but other people do

Upfiner · 24/09/2026 22:29

Shoobadadoo · 24/09/2026 22:23

I do think it’s strange and uncaring to leave a 5 month old (and 2 yo). I have similar age children and would only let my eldest sleep away for the night: the younger two would be with me. Baby in particular

Be a bit awkward for them to be sleeping in the pub though.

OP posts:
Goinggreymammy · 24/09/2026 22:29

Floppyearedlab · 24/09/2026 22:13

Yeah it’s always a ‘night out’ isn’t it.
What’s wrong with an afternoon date at the weekend until the kids are a bit older?

Or even a normal night out and babysit children in their own home? Why does a night out now seem to mean overnight to so many people?

Rememberdragons · 24/09/2026 22:27

How are so many people losing their minds at this thread??

Op @Upfiner I think it's lovely that you take all three and give them such a fun night.

SoSoLong · 24/09/2026 22:26

Upfiner · 24/09/2026 22:01

I also once gave the eldest a chocolate yoghurt for breakfast. I tried to give him eggs and soldiers but he swore blind his mother gave him chocolate for breakfast, so who was I to argue?

Might ring SS myself.

Ring SS, this is all you've got to say for yourself? This is prison territory already, hand yourself in.

ThreadGuardDog · 24/09/2026 22:25

Upfiner · 24/09/2026 21:51

Do social services usually investigate aunties letting their nephews fall asleep on the sofa?

Only on MN !!

Stinkybooks · 24/09/2026 22:25

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I think what you’ve said is make believe.
I wouldn’t feed my young nephews pizza and chocolate and then have a slumber party but plenty would/do. With their own kids too.

Not what I’d do but not a disaster.

Social services haven’t got the budget to intervene in a situation as trivial as this - even if it was a regular occurance. It’s not neglectful or abusive anyway. Just not ideal.

IHopeYouStepOnALegPiece · 24/09/2026 22:24

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Upfiner · 24/09/2026 22:24

Federica1864 · 24/09/2026 22:15

I think it depends on the kids. Mine are early to bedders. I tried let the 7 year old have a late night on NYE and she made it to 9pm by which time she was laying on the sofa looking blurry eyed and asking me to take her up. She wouldn’t find being expected to sleep on the sofa all night fun at all. Maybe your nephews are more night owls.

If I were in your shoes I would get them all down at their normal times and then go to bed and read my kindle so I was in the room with the baby.

I’m definitely not going to bed at the same time as children.

OP posts:
JustWalnut · 24/09/2026 22:24

YABU. Even as a babysitting auntie, I am counting down the minutes until bedtime!

AirportParking · 24/09/2026 22:24

This is one of the reasons I have never liked my children staying over night with other people. A relative once let my youngest eat themselves sick on sweets while desperately trying to be the 'fun one'.

I know everyone is different and some people wouldn't mind, but I would hate it. My children would also have taken a good few days to get over it (still would and they are 11 & 13!). Depends on the kids I guess!

I wouldn't be calling social services on you though 😉

Livpool · 24/09/2026 22:23

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Are you ok?!

Shoobadadoo · 24/09/2026 22:23

I do think it’s strange and uncaring to leave a 5 month old (and 2 yo). I have similar age children and would only let my eldest sleep away for the night: the younger two would be with me. Baby in particular

SoSoLong · 24/09/2026 22:23

Sounds perfect. The only thing I'd be concerned would be the older ones disrupting the baby's sleep. Other than that, have fun!

Upfiner · 24/09/2026 22:22

Floppyearedlab · 24/09/2026 22:13

Yeah it’s always a ‘night out’ isn’t it.
What’s wrong with an afternoon date at the weekend until the kids are a bit older?

She is staying out all night! Not even sleeping in her own bed. They are going wild.

OP posts: