To ask for your best responses to ‘gender disappointment’

After 6 cycles of fertility drugs and 3 rounds (including 5 transfers) of IVF then gender disappointment seems like a luxury to me! We are perfectly happy with girls and no boys (people ask would my husband like to see play football with his children -he hates football more than me so no!)

Even before having fertility issues l thought the whole gender disappoint thing was rather pathetic and cringey. There is always a 50/50 chance

Usually say "Don't you mean biological sex?"

Google Gender.

”I’ve just won the lottery!”

”Are you disappointed?”

””Of course I’m fucking not, did you hear the words that came out of my mouth, why would it even occur to ask if I’m fucking disappointed you absolute tool”

It’s not small talk, it’s just a bit mental.

why?

This.

'Are you disappointed it's another boy?'

'WHAAAAAAAT?! 😱 I gave birth to a girl last week, they've given me the wrong baby. ARGHHHHHH!' Then run off screaming.

I think it’s different when it’s twins.

@notaurewhatusername not the thread, but I really don’t like being told the gender of the baby before it’s born. I don’t understand why parents want to know. The surprise is exciting!

No, I get this. With my second pregnancy I was actually a bit worried about announcing another boy because I knew I’d get stupid comments and they do needle. As it turned out no2 was a girl anyway (no1 was a boy) but that was one thing I was fretting about!

I guess preempting it might be best ‘it’s another girl, isn’t that BRILLIANT?’

What about a grandma who actually got mad at her daughter for having a boy, and said she needed to try again? I heard the conversation and it wasn't a joke.

Sadly there are people like this. OP, I'd just say thankfully we can be happy with either sex now, aren't we lucky we live in a time when girls can have education/jobs etc, and that we don't have to be like Mrs Bennett and worry about marriage.

My cousin’s wife told me that when she had given birth to her third boy someone said
“what a shame”. She was shocked. It’s offensive and rude imo. Her boys have individual personalities, as do all babies. They are not all the same !

My MIL never got over having three boys. She had wanted a girl, mainly to put to rest the dysfunctional relationship she had with her own mother. I’m glad she didn’t have a girl because the pressure on the girl would have been massive. MIL used to say that her second and third babies should have been girls ( my DH was allowed to be a boy, being the first born) in front of them, as adults ! It was beyond strange.

In the kindest way possible, it’s a fucking rude thing to say and as a mum of 3 girls, it’s insulting and should be called out.

I was completely fine with both mine ( boys) and the only person who wasn’t was actually my MIL! She really make a big thing out of it, especially my first. Then SIL got pregnant with a girl and anyone would think she was gonna be pushing out a bar of gold. SIL did a gender reveal and MIL went crazy, screaming and hugging her and jumping up and down. We just had our scan, got told it was a boy and let the family know. She said “ owww I wanted it to be a girl”. I felt extremely sad at her response

In the kindest possible way they don’t really care if you give birth to a puppy. They’re saying something to say something. Congratulations should be enough . Congratulations btw .

Some people have poor conversational skills and this is the crap they come up with.

Dh was told it was their idea of hell by a colleague when he announced our identical twin girls (already had one daughter). Dh replied, my daughter is awesome so two more is great with me!

he was really pissed off and is very much a feminist dad now dc are all teens.

We used to live in a country where one sex was preferred.

A colleague was expecting a 2nd child of the non preferred sex. He took great delight in telling the disappointment people how happy he was that his second child was of that sex.

What else can you do, really?

Once you get that blue line people stick their oar in....

@bettyrubble99 - same!

What pisses me off more than anything is when this kind of shite is IN FRONT of my lot although they’re older now so thankfully happens a lot less.

When they were younger, If people persistently asked me if we were going to “try” for a girl I’d fix them with a look and ask if you had sex differently for each gender. That generally shut them up although my Mum did tell me off for this a couple of times sorrynotsorry.

A few weeks ago, a twat I work with kept going on and on about how I “needed” a girl like she had. She’s generally a lazy, sicknote fuckwit and I couldn’t care less about her opinions but it did worry me that it could upset some people. Unfortunately, she’s the type that if I pulled her up she’d either feel validated or go crying to HR.

Congratulations on your twins!! How exciting!

Exactly!! Or like when my exH was poor at performing in bed, I never said "oh are you sad you only got a semi??"

Seriously though I think a lot of people just talk for the sake of talking and don't worry about the quality of conversation