AIBU to feel like I am still faking being an adult?

My 80 year old neighbour who had a very serious job is always cracking jokes & taking the piss.

Dd is autistic but I think I am both. Very different to her in what I find fun (I like concerts and parties and those are her worst nightmare!) but we do share the weird interests and non-understanding of things other people get upset about (like talking about death - I told her to send me to Dignitas if I get too ill to look after) and her friends were horrified. I've done my will etc - seems like good planning to me but apparently not "normal" to be so blasee about it.

ETA I don't want to turn this into an ND discovery thread though but just mentioned it because it might be one of the whys. I don't see the point in diagnosis for me bc I don't need one and know my own behaviours.

Definitely not just you, there are loads of playful adults who aren’t boring.

A lot of people feel like this, and not necessarily all of them are neurodivergent.
Adjusting to the adult world can be hard, and takes time.
It does get easier, though.

I get this and suspect I am ND.
Did Padel the other day and saw a mum who used to do the same school run, who was so put together it was unreal. I was going beetroot and apologising for missing shots and giggling and enjoying myself whereas she looked like she should be at Wimbledon and very unimpressed.

I would rather be me but it can feel a little intimidating. I do wonder if they ever relax though!

I agree that a lot of people feel like this.

I'm always amazed at the number of women who post on here who seem very 'grown up' and don't seem to have much of a sense of fun even if they lack the opportunity.

I think it's the sense of fun and playfulness that keeps people young.

My grandma was always very sensible but her sister was fun well into her 80s. I know my grandma loved her but found her sense of playfulness a bit unnecessary 😁

I went to stay with her in my mid 20s (she was late 70s) and we had the best time.

I suppose fun means different things to different people.

I would say some people seem old before their time but then there are others who never seem old regardless of age.

I always find it so bewildering when I read threads on here where women ask about making friends and they're told to join the WI or a Book Club. I'm sorry, I assume they're both interesting in their own ways, but not what I'd consider to be fun.

I'm in my 50s and, believe me, the feeling doesn't get any easier 😭

I’ve always slightly wondered if others are more mature or just boring?

Yes me too. Everyone is so serious all the time! And mature. I’m just so immature! I feel like my sense of humour and sense of responsibility is more immature than the “juniors” I work with, who are over 10 years younger than me. And that’s when I’m acting “professional”!

I'm 40 and I feel exactly the same! My best friend and I spoke about this recently as she feels the same. I find myself quietly looking toward the "proper" grown ups in some situations. I have a younger brother who is 8 years younger and he is WAY more grown up than me. I can't put my finger on why though. I dropped my 18 year old off somewhere a few weeks ago and her friends were all chatting to me and I felt a bit nervous then had to remember that these people are not my peers and I do not need to feel nervous 😂 I've never been very social and I wonder sometimes if I missed some vital part of growing up by being antisocial 🙈 It's reassuring to know others feel this way honestly.

I think most of us feel like this, it’s like a defence mechanism against getting old or something.

We always see oursevles as younger, more vibrant, and different than everyone else - my 82 year old mother told me she didn’t want to join a local meet up group as it would be full of ‘old people’.

I get it completely. I have always worked. I have two degrees and kids and a DH, yet I still feel like I want to jack it all in and just piss about and have a laugh, no serious conversations or responsibilities.

@Wantmoredogsbutcant not weird at all. Infact, we were at my son’s 18th dinner recently and the exact same topic came up!

Most of the ladies felt the same as you, as did I, well until last year. I’m late 40s and once it was confirmed I was in the perimenopause stage and started HRT that was the moment I felt I was no longer young and a fully fledged adult, and then my son turning 18 put the lid on it.

I still don’t feel old though, and happy to still go to waterparks, theme parks, Go Ape, hiking, cycling, pretty much anything my kids want to do I’ll be doing too, but yes, I’m now an adult.

I'm convinced

Ugh exactly 😥 I just wanna gossip and talk about fun things and have fun. Why does being an adult automatically qualify people into being boring and enjoying talking about interest rates 😭

In my 40s, built my own business, financially comfortable, independent, happily married.

I feel like I'm going to get 'caught out' pretending to be an adult any minute now.

I still feel like this - at 45 I still looks for a more ‘adulty’ adult in some situations as I don’t think I am adult enough to make a decision… often these ‘adulty’ adults are younger than me!

I'm almost 59 and am frequently shocked to find that I am expected to be an adult.

I'm still a 16 year old dork on the inside.

I can totally relate. How I have brought up two extremely successful, balanced, academic children, I shall never know. I'm nearly 60, but my humour is still with me from school..

I have major imposter syndrome with this as well as being a parent. Idk if it's that im quite a bit younger than my other mum/work peers, but I just feel so out of place. Also very much like a laugh and joke whilst also getting work done, etc. Just feels like everyone else is really prim, proper and serious? Have their lives together and sailing through adulthood. I have my life together (mostly) but it feels like I'm drowning and crashing against the tide trying to muddle through. Idk I just don't feel like an adult compared to other people