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AIBU?

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AIBU to feel worn down by a very argumentative friend?

8 replies

LostAlice · 24/09/2026 20:37

An old friend, we used to share more friends.
She accused me of being argumentative and disagreeing with everything she says.
(yes, i could be. In the past i was more obedient, i think that could be a problem here - she made me apologise for calling her controlling and narcissistic)

She often makes very definite statements about things based on limited experience, or what she thinks people think.

I did not come with her to a concertrs. 'Why dont you rely on my recommendation?'
I told her I dont want commit to anything as I never now how I would feel on a day and treat other people in the same way.

She recently had an appointment at a hospital and was angry because she said the hospital had sent her multiple documents but had failed to tell her that the department was on the Lower Ground floor.
She was very definite that it wasn’t on the map.
It was under the map and in the letter, hence she changed the argument to not being used to and that in the past it was there.
‘You are mean, why do you have to always argue with me?!’

At the moment we are at historic disagreements.
A recent example was sandals.
I bought a pair of Birkenstock-type sandals and showed them to her. I wasn’t asking whether they would suit her or asking for advice.
She immediately started explaining at length (like 50 messages) why that kind of sandal wouldn’t work for her feet, and her feet in general.
She claimed that she tried them for 2 days. Still I did not try to convince them to buy them.

However in the past she told me which antidepressant she thought would be best for me as she loved it. I said it did not work - you did not take it right.
(second medication, first time she did the same but later admitted it was not so good - venlafaxine) She is very unhappy i did not follow her advice and went back to taking sertraline.

I think I was like her in the past, but we are both over 45, single...and I dont have time for this s**t.

who is the mad one here?

OP posts:
Suspicioustoenails · 24/09/2026 20:42

Does it matter who the mad one is?
You clearly don't like each other.

LoveWine123 · 24/09/2026 20:45

You both sound like you need to get a life.

StrictlyAFemaleFemale · 24/09/2026 20:52

I think you've outgrown each other.

LostAlice · 24/09/2026 20:54

LoveWine123 · 24/09/2026 20:45

You both sound like you need to get a life.

True. I guess at that age, and our personalities we were stuck with each other.

OP posts:
Naurrr · 24/09/2026 20:58

Arguements require two people, opt out. Say 'ok.' to whatever she's droning on about and don't meet up with her if she's shit company.

AnywayYouLike · 24/09/2026 21:33

You both sound nuts Shock

dottydaily · 24/09/2026 21:47

no one at fault really,sounds like ye both have fustrations in life and can't be the friend ye both need at the moment.sounds like the relationship is causing you both more anxiety. take a little break from one another.and maybe ye will find a common ground to be proper friends to one another.what's happening now is not working for either of ye..

aLFIESMA · 25/09/2026 15:49

My warning to pull back on a friendship was if I began to worry how to deal with the upcoming criticism & put downs, or felt drained after meet ups.
Its very easy to slip into being the 'fall guy' OP, and is harmful to your self esteem, as you can feel that this is all your worth!

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