Please or to access all these features

AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

DH comments on body

13 replies

effortlesshayes · 24/09/2026 17:03

I’m 14 months postpartum and have recently lost weight using medication (I have lipedema and PCOS so this has been a game changer). I’m now a size 8-10 and feeling more confident despite have some loose skin and muscle loss - I still don’t love my PP body but finding it hard to get in the gym to tone up.

I’ve been trying on new clothes and DH commented that I shouldn’t lose more weight as I’ve ’lost all my curves’. It’s knocked my confidence and I feel like I can’t win… my boobs and bum are different now but I’m trying to feel more comfortable in my own skin.

OP posts:
Sunbringer · 24/09/2026 17:17

Ask him to stop commenting on your body unless it’s a compliment. Then realise that his comments don’t make a difference to your body. It looks the same as it did before the comment. It’s a fact that your ‘curves’ have reduced due to fat loss which is what you were aiming for and achieved.

whippersnapper55 · 24/09/2026 17:18

His comment was a bit insensitive but he's being honest that he loved your curvy fuller figure - lots of men do! Tell him that you don't appreciate comments about your body and that you're still getting used to your post partum body and feel more comfortable at the weight you are now. If he wants to be supportive, he can have the baby while you go to the gym!

Abstaining · 25/09/2026 08:19

Size 8/10 is quite small, so maybe he’s just concerned you may take it further and you don’t need to.

TruffleSlinky · 25/09/2026 08:23

I have absolutely nothing against weight loss medication, but I do think there are some people who take it "too far" and carry on losing beyond the point where they look their best. I have a friend who is looking almost gaunt.

Boxfulloftoys · 25/09/2026 08:40

I'm on mounjaro and have lost 4 stone. My DH has said I don't need to lose anymore weight. My DH has been with me from every weight and size, lowest weight was 7 11 and highest was 19 stone. He has loved me throughout and always complimented me. He did get really concerned and worried though when I was at my lowest.

To be honest I know I would look better if I put a stone on.

On the other side my DH tried the jabs and was losing weight but I prefer him with a bit of weight on him and told him.

Neither of us were offended by each others comments.

workshy46 · 25/09/2026 08:50

It depends , I know so many people on them and they look fantastic as they lose the initial weight then take it too far and look ancient with crepy skin and no muscle. This is coming from a naturally thin person so it’s not jealousy.

takealettermsjones · 25/09/2026 09:27

I think his intentions were probably good, it's just the last part that was tactless. He should have said you don't need to lose any more weight because you look great now, and that he's proud of you for achieving your goals. You could ask him if that's what he meant (yes a leading question - but ime men sometimes need us to spell out what kind of support we need from them).

ItsAlwaysTwins · 25/09/2026 09:28

He could’ve phrased it better, but I wouldn’t be offended.

Whatalotoflaundry · 25/09/2026 09:37

Unacceptable for anyone to comment negatively on anyone’s body shape and size unless there is a genuine medical concern. I am particularly sick of women’s bodies being judged on how they conform to whatever standard is in vogue (from rubanesque to Twiggy).

Our bodies are just the vessel that carry us around and allow us to do the things that matter to us. What matters is health and vitality so we can feel as good as possible, do as much of what we want as possible and last as long as possible.

Stop judging yourselves and each other on size and shape. It’s internalised misogyny and seeing how so many are saying it’s fine for this DH to comment is bloody depressing. So what if he misses her curves. HER body - HER choice.

Comeonbabylightmyaga · 25/09/2026 10:13

I still don’t love my PP body but finding it hard to get in the gym to tone up.

Suggest that he helps you to love yourself by making it easier for you to get to the gym.

Sartre · 25/09/2026 10:17

My DH has said the same about me before. I don’t find it hurtful at all. Lots of men prefer curves on women, it’s quite common. Also a size 8 is very small but it obviously depends on your height, if you’re short it isn’t an issue but if you’re taller it will look pretty skinny. He was just being honest with you, I don’t think he meant to be horrid.

ChoppyWalters · 25/09/2026 10:30

A few people have lost weight with jabs at work. They were very overweight, gradually reduced in size, looked so fit and healthy. And then carried on. Now they are skeletal. These weightloss methods are not for everyone- not saying that OP is in the same category, but the same urge that got them to obesity has been transferred to the other direction. (I have never commented about their weight whatever size they have been, just an observation.)

Whatalotoflaundry · 25/09/2026 18:30

Sartre · 25/09/2026 10:17

My DH has said the same about me before. I don’t find it hurtful at all. Lots of men prefer curves on women, it’s quite common. Also a size 8 is very small but it obviously depends on your height, if you’re short it isn’t an issue but if you’re taller it will look pretty skinny. He was just being honest with you, I don’t think he meant to be horrid.

Your DH and her DH can fuck off with their judgements. Would it be ok if you said to him ‘I preferred you when your balls were less saggy?’ - how would these men feel?

New posts on this thread. Refresh page