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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

That it's a massive waste of time, effort, money, lives and we should just bring them over by coach and ferry.

257 replies

Ablondiebutagoody · 24/09/2026 16:03

I have just watched the video from earlier today/yesterday of a migrant boat departing Boulogne. The one where the Dad (presumably) ditches his toddler in the sea in order to get onto the boat. The kid was instantly picked up by French emergency workers and it struck me that this whole situation is completely bizarre.

There were approximately half a dozen lifeguards around the boat on jet skis and paddle boards, probably also a load of police out of frame. The boat will then be shadowed by French coastguard vessels until halfway across the channel, at which point border force/RNLI will pick them up and bring them to the UK. They will then be greated by coaches, a couple of hundred riot police and some (redacted by MNHQ) before continuing to their destination.

AIBU to think that this is all a total farce and we should simply provide the coaches from the outset?

YABU - The current arrangement is best.

YANBU - Coach and ferry would be better for everyone.

OP posts:
CombatBarbie · 24/09/2026 23:42

Let's not forget the amount of rapes and sexual assaults happening in the UK, by non descript men.......when did our media change that it no longer mentions skin colour unless the person of interest is white?

its making me feel sick having 2 teenage daughters. These "men" have no concept of legal and consenting sex.

700 people apparently entered today, how much did that cost us legitimate taxpayers? House them, feed them, yes we do also cloth them and give them phones, people that think its a conspiracy need to give their heads a wobble.

I don't understand why the Government's doing nothing to protect itself and its citizens? Also why is our media not reporting accurately? Apparently 200 protesters in Portsmouth......any live stream on any media platform clearly shows 100s if not at least 1000+

Scottishmamaagain · 24/09/2026 23:27

you should be able to apply for asylum from outside the UK and then we could take the most genuine cases via safe routes, rather than whoever has the most money to pay for crossings

BrezhnevsLuxuriantEyebrows · 24/09/2026 23:24

Dameputtingonabraveface · 24/09/2026 23:12

@2dogsandabudgie, there is a very good reason why families send the young men. It is well documented outside the right wing press, which seems to be where everyone gets their 'factual eveidence' from. FYI, young men can also be at risk- even Albanian men, who every one is convinced are just here to commit benefit fraud and sexually abuse women and girls. It is all out there to read up on, unless you only only rely on the daily mail. It is all quite recent really but what these threads prove is very few people have an understanding/care about the world outside their class whatsapp group.

Why do the men come on their own, then, if they're fleeing life-threatening danger? If your house was on fire, would you just run to safety yourself and leave your kids in the house to burn to death?

EmeraldRoulette · 24/09/2026 23:23

Dameputtingonabraveface · 24/09/2026 23:15

@EmeraldRoulette so deserving immigration vs bad immigration? I thought we had moved from the empirical shite.....

Important distinctions, yes. I find them important. Clearly, you don’t and you’re entitled to your point of view.

BrezhnevsLuxuriantEyebrows · 24/09/2026 23:20

Dameputtingonabraveface · 24/09/2026 22:34

@OffTheMap, unfortunately most people decide to misunderstand that there is no actual agreement that an asylum seekers must seek asylum in the first country they reach. I find it really upsetting that so many people have so much hatred towards some if the most vulnerable people on our planet, including women and children fleeing horrible regimes. Apparently all asylum seeking men are predatory rapists and a huge risk to myself and female children and relatives. As a woman who has been subjected to domestic abuse and rape from our home grown, white misogynists and who continues to experience misogynist abuse from the same in my day-to-day work, I find this media led narrative offensive and racist.

There doesn't need to be any law to define simple common sense. It's clear as day that, if you escape from a genuinely dangerous country to a safe country, you very probably are a legitimate asylum seeker (and would presumably care enough for your family to bring them with you to safety too). However, if you then move on to another safe country that you happen to like better for whatever reason, you have now become an economic migrant, whatever you were previously.

SemperIdem · 24/09/2026 23:17

Dameputtingonabraveface · 24/09/2026 23:15

@EmeraldRoulette so deserving immigration vs bad immigration? I thought we had moved from the empirical shite.....

No, just the actual legal definition of being a refugee vs an economic migrant entering a country illegally.

Dameputtingonabraveface · 24/09/2026 23:15

@EmeraldRoulette so deserving immigration vs bad immigration? I thought we had moved from the empirical shite.....

Dameputtingonabraveface · 24/09/2026 23:12

@2dogsandabudgie, there is a very good reason why families send the young men. It is well documented outside the right wing press, which seems to be where everyone gets their 'factual eveidence' from. FYI, young men can also be at risk- even Albanian men, who every one is convinced are just here to commit benefit fraud and sexually abuse women and girls. It is all out there to read up on, unless you only only rely on the daily mail. It is all quite recent really but what these threads prove is very few people have an understanding/care about the world outside their class whatsapp group.

EmeraldRoulette · 24/09/2026 23:10

olivepicanto · 24/09/2026 23:09

They ARE gammon, though

What do you mean?

olivepicanto · 24/09/2026 23:09

LuckyHazelFox · 24/09/2026 19:32

YABU for using the term gammon. No, we shouldn't be making it easier for more unwanted numbers.

They ARE gammon, though

EmeraldRoulette · 24/09/2026 23:05

@Dameputtingonabraveface ”unfortunately most people decide to misunderstand that there is no actual agreement that an asylum seekers must seek asylum in the first country they reach.”

there there’s nothing under the refugee convention, but both the EU and the UK have made this part of their legislative framework.

As usual, I looked it up and found that the EU were actually doing a lot more of it than we are!

wrt your other point… I think most people would agree that legal immigrants are hugely important to support in both the NHS and care work. They aren’t really the subject of this thread though.

Dameputtingonabraveface · 24/09/2026 23:00

@EmeraldRoulette, just an example, no great mystery, did not realise I had to Google stats. I work with people from all over the middle east, Asia and parts of Africa and parts of europe etc. where genocide, cultural cleansing and capital punishment/systematic rape etc is ongoing. I have done so for over 20 years. Of course, you may not agree that people wanting to leave these regimes should be our responsibility. However as a senior nurse and now a senior social worker, many are working to prop up our services. When my brother was in ICU for 4 months last year, the care he received was amazing and the NHS at its best, only one nurse on the unit was not poached from the developing world. Birth is an absolute lottery, I feel very lucky that my DC have not been born into a country where their sexulity, political leanings or that of their family places their life at risk. Rather than take the view point 'they are just getting in small boats to fleece the UK', I would rather flip it or 'how bloody bad is it that we risk everything, including life to try for a better life'.

FrangipaniBlue · 24/09/2026 22:50

YABU for giving 2 voting options that both involve bringing more people to an island whose resources are already under strain.

Minasama · 24/09/2026 22:49

The point is that it is illegal for them to enter our country and a large proportion of people don’t want them here.

It would be political suicide to bus them in. How would it deter others from coming?

2dogsandabudgie · 24/09/2026 22:43

Dameputtingonabraveface · 24/09/2026 22:34

@OffTheMap, unfortunately most people decide to misunderstand that there is no actual agreement that an asylum seekers must seek asylum in the first country they reach. I find it really upsetting that so many people have so much hatred towards some if the most vulnerable people on our planet, including women and children fleeing horrible regimes. Apparently all asylum seeking men are predatory rapists and a huge risk to myself and female children and relatives. As a woman who has been subjected to domestic abuse and rape from our home grown, white misogynists and who continues to experience misogynist abuse from the same in my day-to-day work, I find this media led narrative offensive and racist.

The majority of the people coming across are young men. They are economic migrants. Occasionally you get women and families if they can get on the boats. I have seen news reports of them being pushed off the boats by these men.

2dogsandabudgie · 24/09/2026 22:36

Dameputtingonabraveface · 24/09/2026 22:05

@moonraker0-and how does this really impact on you personally? In the whole massive scheme of things facing this country those people will not tip things over the edge. If you were born in Syria (for example) and needed to get yourself and your family out and spend everything you had and take that huge leap of faith that you and your family would be safe, not be at risk because you happened to be born where you were, what would you do? Because birth is a lottery. A lot of people coming to the UK are doing so because it is not safe where they live, and often our foreign policy has played a huge part in that. I cannot even begin to understand what is like be in that position, because as much as I deplore UK politics over the last decade, I am very privileged and this has never been the reality for my family.

If I was fleeing from war I would be genuinely grateful to reach the 1st safe country. I wouldn't then travel through loads of other safe countries to then risk my own life and my children's lives by crossing the channel in an overcrowded dinghy.

Portakalkedi · 24/09/2026 22:35

Absolutely not. Just as you and I have to go through the necessary procedures to enter another country, so should these illegal immigrants. Genuine refugees from war wiil have help in the form of the organisations which provide aid to those areas. It's all beyond a fucking joke and I am embarrassed and angry to be part of such a pathetically weak country that the world laughs at.

Dameputtingonabraveface · 24/09/2026 22:34

@OffTheMap, unfortunately most people decide to misunderstand that there is no actual agreement that an asylum seekers must seek asylum in the first country they reach. I find it really upsetting that so many people have so much hatred towards some if the most vulnerable people on our planet, including women and children fleeing horrible regimes. Apparently all asylum seeking men are predatory rapists and a huge risk to myself and female children and relatives. As a woman who has been subjected to domestic abuse and rape from our home grown, white misogynists and who continues to experience misogynist abuse from the same in my day-to-day work, I find this media led narrative offensive and racist.

EmeraldRoulette · 24/09/2026 22:21

Dameputtingonabraveface · 24/09/2026 22:05

@moonraker0-and how does this really impact on you personally? In the whole massive scheme of things facing this country those people will not tip things over the edge. If you were born in Syria (for example) and needed to get yourself and your family out and spend everything you had and take that huge leap of faith that you and your family would be safe, not be at risk because you happened to be born where you were, what would you do? Because birth is a lottery. A lot of people coming to the UK are doing so because it is not safe where they live, and often our foreign policy has played a huge part in that. I cannot even begin to understand what is like be in that position, because as much as I deplore UK politics over the last decade, I am very privileged and this has never been the reality for my family.

It’s interesting to me that you gave the example of Syria

They’re not even in the top 10 countries that claim asylum here

And they have access to an official resettlement scheme. So I’m curious why you chose to mention Syria.

if you have a look at the list and the reasons given, you may be surprised.

The top country is Pakistan, usually through the Visa overstaying route, and the numbers granted have declined since the home office started putting them under greater scrutiny.

OffTheMap · 24/09/2026 22:18

It would be better if we could have refugee / asylum assessment centres in France, and then give safe passage to those who qualified.

Unfortunately then, unless the French detained and deported them, the others would still attempt to cross by dinghy. But instead of calling the coastguard / border force once they enter British water they will proceed as clandestinely as possible and enter without anyone knowing who or where they are.

Whatifitallgoesright · 24/09/2026 22:15

You can find Charlotte Gill on Substack if the Twitter link scares you. Shes only up to £312 MILLION taxpayer funding on asylum and migration charities - shes got a few more thousand charities to go through.

x.com/CharlotteCGill/status/2102467900577652770

Dameputtingonabraveface · 24/09/2026 22:05

@moonraker0-and how does this really impact on you personally? In the whole massive scheme of things facing this country those people will not tip things over the edge. If you were born in Syria (for example) and needed to get yourself and your family out and spend everything you had and take that huge leap of faith that you and your family would be safe, not be at risk because you happened to be born where you were, what would you do? Because birth is a lottery. A lot of people coming to the UK are doing so because it is not safe where they live, and often our foreign policy has played a huge part in that. I cannot even begin to understand what is like be in that position, because as much as I deplore UK politics over the last decade, I am very privileged and this has never been the reality for my family.

BrezhnevsLuxuriantEyebrows · 24/09/2026 21:58

Mandarinaduck · 24/09/2026 19:54

A majority of irregular arrivals by boat are granted asylum so are not economic migrants.

Just because they're granted asylum, that doesn't mean thaf they aren't economic migrants.

I know that international law effectively stipulates that asylum seekers can claim asylum in whichever country they fancy most, as long as they can eventually make their way there; but it's just a legal fiction.

Any half-wit knows that leaving a place of safety for one that you like better is 100% a choice rather than a need. Just like genuine people who use a food bank do so because they can't afford the food they need from anywhere; there are no food banks out there that are dedicated to providing people with food from M&S because they don't reckon that the same food from Lidl that they can afford is good enough for them.

EasternStandard · 24/09/2026 21:53

Dameputtingonabraveface · 24/09/2026 21:47

@ItsOnlyMee1, just because we happen to be an Island? European countries take far more refugees than we do. We also colonised a lot of the world, therefore English is the 'world language' so it is understandable that those who use English and their second language want to settle here. Everyone bangs on about it being our benefits etc but compared to other countries these are really poor. People usually want to settle where they have family support but also where they speak the language. A lot of people fleeing persecution will have family in the UK and speak English. Many have family elsewhere and settle there, luckily other countries also use and speak English fluently. The narrative that the UK is some kind of Utopia amazes me, since Brexit we are a back water.

I don’t think so re a backwater. But also most people even Labour seem to sell in reducing the crossings so it might be hard to do the opposite and get voters to switch to wanting more people to arrive.

Pawparazzi · 24/09/2026 21:49

Ignorance isn't attractive.

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