Unequal inheritance between families.

There is no 'moral' answer. What feels fair to you? Do you agree about it?
A more pressing question is, do you want all 5 relatives to get something when the first person dies, and if so how much can be made available without leaving the survivor short.

I'd say two choices

1. 25% to each of your siblings (so would be an entirely 50/50 split by family) or
2. 20% to each nephew/niece because anything else treats them differently to each other

obvs you could give all of it to one person or to no people or whatever you want!

My and OH will does option 1. We've split everything between living siblings so those without kids or with different numbers are still all treated the same.

You are very naive. If one dies first the other can do what they want thereafter. Everybody should make sure in tgeir own will that their estate goes to who they want. Fir example you should own home as tenants in common, you leave your half to your neices/nephews, giving him the right to stay until death or remarriage.

The other thing is it protects yoyr half if he later goes into a care home.

Is it likely there will be more children? I think you have to be quite specific about who exactly you are leaving money to, with contingencies.

The fairest way is 1/5th each I think.

My parents wanted to split their estate between me and DSis, and their 6 grandchildren (4 are her family, 2 are mine).

Their will stipulates a three way split - one third to me, one third to my sister, and the remaining third divided evenly between the grandchildren. This prevents an uneven inheritance to the grandchildren if the estate was passed 50/50 in its entirety to DSis and me.

Everyone is extremely grateful and happy with that arrangement, because we all love and want the best for each other.

If your family are similarly close, OP, that might work as a way of dividing your assets evenly.

I think it's a real shame to do it that way. The niblings are people in their own right not just children of their parents. If one cousin gets X and the other gets Y just because their parent had more children, it feels really unfair.

I’m not sure you have enough there to warrant much hand wringing if you’re both fit and healthy upon retirement. Two sets of retirements, two sets of care home fees…you could be left with not that much at all if divided by 5.

I don’t understand why not 20% each? Perhaps explain to them so they understand when the time comes

Seems reasonable to me and you are not cutting out anyone completely.

£100 for funerals and solicitors or £100k for funerals and solicitors??

Both are unrealistic as estimates.

Can you pre-buy your funeral plans?

That doesnt hold if they are mirror wills and DH is passed everything. You would have to state your 50% share is paid immediately/in trust/charged to properties.

If he remarried and hasn't updated his will, everything goes to new wife.

Exactly. It would be equally ‘moral’ to leave it a donkey sanctuary or the RNLI or cancer research or to found a scholarship or buy books for the local library or anything to do with a special interest.

Just be upfront and honest about it, and let people know now so there's no surprises. Its your money to leave - you can do what you like with it, and no-one should be 'expecting' anything. If they are given something from your Will(s) then they should be just grateful for it.

Or to give it to one nephew who has visited every weekend for years, had them over for Christmas for two decades, had them join his family on holiday with them, helped them around the house, been there for them practically etc.

Basically - give to whomever you damn well want

20% of the residue to each N+N after legacies to siblings etc. Direct that property be sold after the last death and the proceeds used for the inheritances. - to avoid anyone squatting! It has happened.... ask me how I know this.

It is perfectly fine to do as you are doing. Tweak the %s is all I'd advise to be fair to them all. Up to you though in the end.

My friend doesn't have children. She has 7 nephews and nieces. She is leaving her entire estate (over £1m) to only one. There are a few reasons behind this. I would imagine this will cause a few problems!

No, I think 100% by 5

If 5 nieces and nephews I'd simply split equally between them. You are all of their Aunty and Uncle and it wouldn't be nice if some got more than others. They might think you had favourites.