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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

AIBU to feel set up to fail in a hybrid role?

280 replies

Getofftheshitter · 24/09/2026 15:39

Firstly, I am already looking for a new job because this place is going to hell in a handbasket.

I recently started a new job – I am experienced in my role and have done it for several years. I was hired on a hybrid basis, 4 days in the office and one at home. All fine, except in the 2 months I have been there I have worked one day at home as the Ops Manager (not my direct manager but a company director so big cheese) keeps finding excuses for why he needs me in the office on my wfh day. In reality he barely speaks to me, doesn’t need me in the office and just doesn’t agree with wfh. He’s like this with everyone who tries to wfh, not just me.

I can live with being in the office. What I can’t live with with is not being able to do my job because I am not allowed on teams meetings because it is “too disruptive”. I manage a tech team of multiple disciplines. I am the only person of my job role in my team, but there are 5 across the organisation, one in each team and we are all experiencing this issue. Only my job role from the tech department are office based, the others are remote workers, therefore my entire team is working remotely and I have no other way to get in touch other than teams and email. The office is large open plan with 3 meeting rooms and no ‘cubbys’ for taking calls. There are a number of different departments in the office – customer care, sales, marketing, operations etc. Their whole teams are office based.

Understandably I cannot take up a meeting room for the entire time I am on calls – I have been told this is not a solution. I am having to do everything via email which is time consuming and quite frankly ridiculous – we do loads of demos and live drawings and discussions, I should literally be spending my day in calls with various different people and I just cant. As a result I am not being effective, my team are complaining they can’t get info and decisions off me and I am just completely out the loop – as a result the team is making mistakes, work is delayed etc. It’s a shit show.

I have spoken with my manager (home based) and he has spoken to his manager (hybrid) my manager is understanding but powerless to change the situation – he is also the other of my roles managers and confirmed they all have the same problem. His manager has said “everyone else is coping, we just need to get on with it” basically inferring we are just trying to wfh so we can slack off. I’ve suggested the 5 of my job role take up one of the meeting rooms all together, like a mini- office for us, and that is not acceptable, I’ve suggested they put us all in a far corner, away from others – also not acceptable. I’ve asked for solutions from them and been told “email” or get people in the office. I am not able to get them in the office, they have wfh, remote contracts and are based country wide (and in other countries).

I just don’t know what to do!

WIBU to just stop doing my job and wait to be fired? They don’t seem to care.

OP posts:
Getofftheshitter · 24/09/2026 18:23

Jimmyjumpy · 24/09/2026 18:22

Sounds a crap business. Leave

It's a multimillion pound business, almost a household name. I'm shocked it's so horrendously run to be honest. Just waiting for DH to finish work.

OP posts:
Jimmyjumpy · 24/09/2026 18:22

Sounds a crap business. Leave

Getofftheshitter · 24/09/2026 18:19

PuppyMonkey · 24/09/2026 18:18

Isn’t there someone else other than silly big boss who’d be cross to know money was being lost because of the inefficiency in silly boss’s no talking rule? Or is the company just in fact not that bothered? Confused

I'm sure come financial year end someone will be furious. I'm surprised it hasn't come up at quarter end.

OP posts:
PuppyMonkey · 24/09/2026 18:18

Isn’t there someone else other than silly big boss who’d be cross to know money was being lost because of the inefficiency in silly boss’s no talking rule? Or is the company just in fact not that bothered? Confused

Fasthorses · 24/09/2026 18:18

Turnthelightoff · 24/09/2026 15:50

Do you have a headset? I’m not sure what their issue with a teams meeting is? That you’ll be talking? Is the rest of the office sat in silence?

This. I would firmly continue taking teams calls at my desk, using a headset.

If its a work related call unless they can provide you with a more suitable space to take the call you'll need to continue taking the call at your desk, no ither choice.

Better to do this than to try hiding in corners and meeting rooms, or asking to wfh, as that will be perceived as you avoiding scrutiny if wfh etc is a bugbear for them. Take calls at your desk using a headset, and if they complain ask for a meeting about it with a representative from HR.

Getofftheshitter · 24/09/2026 18:18

PruLeithsNecklace · 24/09/2026 18:07

I don’t really understand how they can have an office where no one is allowed to make calls, I work in an open plan office with probably 60 other people at any one time and we all take and make calls and it’s not disruptive.

No one really needs to make calls. The other departments have their whole team in the office, so if they need to talk to each other, they go in to a meeting room. Customer service is now entirely online, as a customer you can't call the company. Suppliers communicate through email as are based in different timezones. I only need to make calls because my team is remote, though we'd be talking to each other all the time at our desks.

All the other senior managers (MD, CFO, CEO) private offices, I don't know why the COO doesn't.

OP posts:
Turnthelightoff · 24/09/2026 18:18

How quickly can you type? Could you run Teams calls like a person who has lost their voice and just type your contribution. That’s a mental suggestion I realise but toes the line whilst proving Teams collaboration is invaluable to progress?

JarvisIsland · 24/09/2026 18:12

I get you. I left a job recently where some people were allowed to WFH and I wasn't despite doing the same job because I was local to the office (but still 30 minutes in rush hour, just 5 or 6 minutes at the weekend so a really really shit drive) and they paid a load of money to move from a place with a few smaller offices to one big open plan melting pot with 2 shitly equipped breakout rooms, and I was told I couldn't do teams calls etc in the office because it was 'too disruptive', but it was fine for sales to be on the normal phone all day. I had a desktop computer (not a laptop that could connect to the meeting room) and needed to share/collaboratively work on large technical drawings etc and be able to share them and amend live.

It was clear this terrible office was someone high up's little baby and it was never going to change so I left. Sucks to be them. In the last 6 months since I left though they have lost nearly all the office based team and I think the mix of open plan, overzealous micromanagement and lack of any sort of flexibility unless you are a bosses favourite has led to this. Used to be a solid hardworking team too.

Getofftheshitter · 24/09/2026 18:11

PuppyMonkey · 24/09/2026 18:08

And there are no consequences to the work not getting done? Money lost, client pissed off etc?

I suspect there will be money lost. It's e-commerce and we build the software the e-commerce company sells on (the product database, pricing software, delivery, website, app etc). So no direct customer contact for us. The company sells stuff through a website, they don't sell software.

OP posts:
PuppyMonkey · 24/09/2026 18:08

And there are no consequences to the work not getting done? Money lost, client pissed off etc?

PruLeithsNecklace · 24/09/2026 18:07

I don’t really understand how they can have an office where no one is allowed to make calls, I work in an open plan office with probably 60 other people at any one time and we all take and make calls and it’s not disruptive.

Getofftheshitter · 24/09/2026 18:05

PuppyMonkey · 24/09/2026 18:03

And are you saving these examples and showing boss what happened and why?

Yes.

My boss understands my frustration but can't do anything. His hands have been tied.

From the metrics, it's clear productivity has decreased across the whole tech team since the office working was introduced.

It's not being in an office that's the issue - it's this particular office.

OP posts:
PuppyMonkey · 24/09/2026 18:03

And are you saving these examples and showing boss what happened and why?

Brainstorm23 · 24/09/2026 18:03

I know exactly the kind of role you're in (work for a software consultancy) and it's absolutely bonkers you're not allowed to call anyone. I'd either just ignore them and WFH as that's what's in your contract or hand in notice as it's ridiculous.

Getofftheshitter · 24/09/2026 18:03

Rumbleafteryog · 24/09/2026 18:01

6 PMs
All in the same boat
1 on probation. The OP.
1 complaining. The OP
The others supposedly not happy but not saying anything

I think they've given up. They've had 3 more months of this than me.

OP posts:
Getofftheshitter · 24/09/2026 18:01

PuppyMonkey · 24/09/2026 18:01

Is work not getting done because you’re not allowed to speak out loud to members of your team?

Yes.

OP posts:
Rumbleafteryog · 24/09/2026 18:01

TempestTost · 24/09/2026 17:59

You seem not to be actually understand what the OP is saying or asking.

6 PMs
All in the same boat
1 on probation. The OP.
1 complaining. The OP
The others supposedly not happy but not saying anything

PuppyMonkey · 24/09/2026 18:01

Is work not getting done because you’re not allowed to speak out loud to members of your team?

TempestTost · 24/09/2026 17:59

Rumbleafteryog · 24/09/2026 17:53

So I get it now

from the boss perspective he has 6 PMs, 5 of which are not on probation and none of that 5 are causing him any issues. Just sucking up the status quo.

Whereas the new PM, so new as still on probation, is going repeatedly to him and HR to try to change things.

Your choice is do what your 5 other PM peers are doing and make the best of it OR jack in the job.

Nothing will change if you are 1/6

You seem not to be actually understand what the OP is saying or asking.

Rumbleafteryog · 24/09/2026 17:59

TempestTost · 24/09/2026 17:58

Your responses are so odd, she said in the beginning there are others in the same role, and they were having the same problems, and were also unhappy.

I don't know what more you think there is, it's a crazy situation.

OP, I'd cut my losses and quit if you can afford to do so.

The 5 others are in identical role, not on probation and don’t complain. All I’m saying is I’m not surprised the new starter still on probation Op is raising pissed off eye brows!

TempestTost · 24/09/2026 17:58

Rumbleafteryog · 24/09/2026 17:43

So that was what I meant by more to this.

The big boss has 5 other PMs in exactly the same position as you presumably not complaining about the status quo. Hence management and HR thinning the issue is you.

Are they other 5 also all on probation?

Your responses are so odd, she said in the beginning there are others in the same role, and they were having the same problems, and were also unhappy.

I don't know what more you think there is, it's a crazy situation.

OP, I'd cut my losses and quit if you can afford to do so.

Rumbleafteryog · 24/09/2026 17:53

So I get it now

from the boss perspective he has 6 PMs, 5 of which are not on probation and none of that 5 are causing him any issues. Just sucking up the status quo.

Whereas the new PM, so new as still on probation, is going repeatedly to him and HR to try to change things.

Your choice is do what your 5 other PM peers are doing and make the best of it OR jack in the job.

Nothing will change if you are 1/6

CombatBarbie · 24/09/2026 17:52

Can you hand in notice directly to HR/Your manager stating exactly what youve said here. I'm sure someone will sit up and take notice.

Getofftheshitter · 24/09/2026 17:48

Rumbleafteryog · 24/09/2026 17:43

So that was what I meant by more to this.

The big boss has 5 other PMs in exactly the same position as you presumably not complaining about the status quo. Hence management and HR thinning the issue is you.

Are they other 5 also all on probation?

No one on probation but me.

I get the impression from what my manager has said and from the tiny bits they've said to me that they've been here already and experienced what I am (I.e. Trying to solve the issue to no avail).

Big boss isn't the boss of the PMs - he's the chief operating officer, I have 2 bosses before him - both are the also the bosses of the other PMs.

I have almost 0 to do with the big boss I.e. he doesn't allocate my work, manage my annual leave, do my performance reviews. Big boss tells the chief technical officer the overall objectives of the whole tech team. My only contact with him is because I'm in the office with him. If I wasn't, it would only be final tech product demo sign off before a big new feature is released.

OP posts:
Rumbleafteryog · 24/09/2026 17:43

Getofftheshitter · 24/09/2026 17:40

Yes.

They also think it's batshit.

So that was what I meant by more to this.

The big boss has 5 other PMs in exactly the same position as you presumably not complaining about the status quo. Hence management and HR thinning the issue is you.

Are they other 5 also all on probation?

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