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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

AIBU to feel set up to fail in a hybrid role?

280 replies

Getofftheshitter · 24/09/2026 15:39

Firstly, I am already looking for a new job because this place is going to hell in a handbasket.

I recently started a new job – I am experienced in my role and have done it for several years. I was hired on a hybrid basis, 4 days in the office and one at home. All fine, except in the 2 months I have been there I have worked one day at home as the Ops Manager (not my direct manager but a company director so big cheese) keeps finding excuses for why he needs me in the office on my wfh day. In reality he barely speaks to me, doesn’t need me in the office and just doesn’t agree with wfh. He’s like this with everyone who tries to wfh, not just me.

I can live with being in the office. What I can’t live with with is not being able to do my job because I am not allowed on teams meetings because it is “too disruptive”. I manage a tech team of multiple disciplines. I am the only person of my job role in my team, but there are 5 across the organisation, one in each team and we are all experiencing this issue. Only my job role from the tech department are office based, the others are remote workers, therefore my entire team is working remotely and I have no other way to get in touch other than teams and email. The office is large open plan with 3 meeting rooms and no ‘cubbys’ for taking calls. There are a number of different departments in the office – customer care, sales, marketing, operations etc. Their whole teams are office based.

Understandably I cannot take up a meeting room for the entire time I am on calls – I have been told this is not a solution. I am having to do everything via email which is time consuming and quite frankly ridiculous – we do loads of demos and live drawings and discussions, I should literally be spending my day in calls with various different people and I just cant. As a result I am not being effective, my team are complaining they can’t get info and decisions off me and I am just completely out the loop – as a result the team is making mistakes, work is delayed etc. It’s a shit show.

I have spoken with my manager (home based) and he has spoken to his manager (hybrid) my manager is understanding but powerless to change the situation – he is also the other of my roles managers and confirmed they all have the same problem. His manager has said “everyone else is coping, we just need to get on with it” basically inferring we are just trying to wfh so we can slack off. I’ve suggested the 5 of my job role take up one of the meeting rooms all together, like a mini- office for us, and that is not acceptable, I’ve suggested they put us all in a far corner, away from others – also not acceptable. I’ve asked for solutions from them and been told “email” or get people in the office. I am not able to get them in the office, they have wfh, remote contracts and are based country wide (and in other countries).

I just don’t know what to do!

WIBU to just stop doing my job and wait to be fired? They don’t seem to care.

OP posts:
Jk987 · 24/09/2026 21:29

I’ve heard it all now. An office that doesn’t allow Teams calls!

Bellesbest · 24/09/2026 21:23

If anything - this must be so incredibly boring!

Bellesbest · 24/09/2026 21:22

Getofftheshitter · 24/09/2026 20:57

Next month.

I can’t see why you’d stay if
you don’t need the money
you are very likely going to fail

so why would you?

Getofftheshitter · 24/09/2026 20:57

Bellesbest · 24/09/2026 20:56

When does your probation end?

Next month.

OP posts:
Bellesbest · 24/09/2026 20:56

Getofftheshitter · 24/09/2026 20:47

Absolutely definitely no long lunches! We have to clock in and out. Someone else in the office was a little over their lunch time and got raked over the coals for it! Hideous.

I am job hunting but until I find a new one, I have 2 options - quite, or keep working there.

I don't know what the other PMs are doing, surfing the net I presume? Sending extremely long and detailed emails that take longer to write , read and respond to than the meeting they replace?

When does your probation end?

Getofftheshitter · 24/09/2026 20:47

Bellesbest · 24/09/2026 20:15

Why would anyone wait to be fired?
If you have nothing to do at work, you could
job hunt perhaps? What do the other PMs do? Surf the net? Long lunches?

Absolutely definitely no long lunches! We have to clock in and out. Someone else in the office was a little over their lunch time and got raked over the coals for it! Hideous.

I am job hunting but until I find a new one, I have 2 options - quite, or keep working there.

I don't know what the other PMs are doing, surfing the net I presume? Sending extremely long and detailed emails that take longer to write , read and respond to than the meeting they replace?

OP posts:
Bellesbest · 24/09/2026 20:15

Getofftheshitter · 24/09/2026 20:10

It does seem really odd. I can't quite read the situation, the COO seems very old fashioned, the whole place is a bit Draconian in it's working practices.

I can't decide whether to just wait it out until my inevitable firing (and twiddle my thumbs in the meantime) or just quit. DH doesn't mind which I do.

I've applied for a few jobs this week and I'll keep going. I'm just really frustrated.

Why would anyone wait to be fired?
If you have nothing to do at work, you could
job hunt perhaps? What do the other PMs do? Surf the net? Long lunches?

Getofftheshitter · 24/09/2026 20:11

Wizardonabroom · 24/09/2026 18:59

This sounds a bit like grounds for constructive dismissal.

What do you mean?

OP posts:
Getofftheshitter · 24/09/2026 20:11

Wizardonabroom · 24/09/2026 18:59

This sounds a bit like grounds for constructive dismissal.

What do you mean?

OP posts:
Getofftheshitter · 24/09/2026 20:10

Bellesbest · 24/09/2026 19:58

Really weird that they’re happy for six presumably half decently paid PMs to sit there twiddling their thumbs all day and have been for the last 3 months.

It does seem really odd. I can't quite read the situation, the COO seems very old fashioned, the whole place is a bit Draconian in it's working practices.

I can't decide whether to just wait it out until my inevitable firing (and twiddle my thumbs in the meantime) or just quit. DH doesn't mind which I do.

I've applied for a few jobs this week and I'll keep going. I'm just really frustrated.

OP posts:
Bellesbest · 24/09/2026 19:58

Really weird that they’re happy for six presumably half decently paid PMs to sit there twiddling their thumbs all day and have been for the last 3 months.

MrsPottsMumofChip · 24/09/2026 19:02

Sounds bizarre, the COO wants everyone to be office based....so they can sit in silence! Colleberation not welcome.

No solutions, but I feel your pain.

Rumbleafteryog · 24/09/2026 19:00

Getofftheshitter · 24/09/2026 18:36

It doesn't seem so.

5 PMs have been doing very little for 3 months and the business hasn’t noticed?

Rumbleafteryog · 24/09/2026 18:59

What’s your husband had to say? Notice being handed in tomorrow?

Wizardonabroom · 24/09/2026 18:59

This sounds a bit like grounds for constructive dismissal.

Rumbleafteryog · 24/09/2026 18:58

Getofftheshitter · 24/09/2026 18:03

I think they've given up. They've had 3 more months of this than me.

They’ve given up
but the business doesn’t seem to have clocked their output has deteriorated?

Ineffable23 · 24/09/2026 18:47

I think I would be going with not handing my notice in but first seeing if you can get the other PMs on board with being clear that it is completely impossible to do your jobs. And then if that doesn't work saying you'll be handing your notice in if you can't work from home 2 days a week.

But I would certainly be looking for a new job no matter which way you slice it.

Getofftheshitter · 24/09/2026 18:37

PruLeithsNecklace · 24/09/2026 18:36

But just because no one else is on the phone doesn’t mean you being on a call is disruptive, surely they’re talking amongst themselves or getting on with their work, it would only be disruptive if you were shouting or something. I think you really need to push back on the no calls thing.

Very very occasional talking amongst themselves. It's like being in the silent working zone of a uni library!

And no, I don't shout, I've been told I'm too softly spoken my entire life.

OP posts:
PruLeithsNecklace · 24/09/2026 18:36

Getofftheshitter · 24/09/2026 18:18

No one really needs to make calls. The other departments have their whole team in the office, so if they need to talk to each other, they go in to a meeting room. Customer service is now entirely online, as a customer you can't call the company. Suppliers communicate through email as are based in different timezones. I only need to make calls because my team is remote, though we'd be talking to each other all the time at our desks.

All the other senior managers (MD, CFO, CEO) private offices, I don't know why the COO doesn't.

But just because no one else is on the phone doesn’t mean you being on a call is disruptive, surely they’re talking amongst themselves or getting on with their work, it would only be disruptive if you were shouting or something. I think you really need to push back on the no calls thing.

Getofftheshitter · 24/09/2026 18:36

spinnerzs · 24/09/2026 18:32

@Getofftheshitter surely the other PMs aren’t doing much work?

It doesn't seem so.

OP posts:
spinnerzs · 24/09/2026 18:32

@Getofftheshitter surely the other PMs aren’t doing much work?

Definitelygoing · 24/09/2026 18:31

It sounds nuts,
One of the main benefits of working in a open plan office is talking, overhearing, thus picking up on things and learning what's going on. I would have left on day 1 of being in a silent office!

spinnerzs · 24/09/2026 18:31

TempestTost · 24/09/2026 17:59

You seem not to be actually understand what the OP is saying or asking.

I bet @Rumbleafteryogis a dreadful manager 😆

PuppyMonkey · 24/09/2026 18:30

They probably won’t even notice you not doing the job and they’ll never fire you OP. I’d hate it too but would serve them right if you just say “yes boss” and sit back and let the finance people ask the awkward questions. Keep a written record of all the instructions not to go on Teams etc.

Branleuse · 24/09/2026 18:29

Hand in your notice and give them feedback.

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