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AIBU?

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AIBU to feel set up to fail in a hybrid role?

280 replies

Getofftheshitter · 24/09/2026 15:39

Firstly, I am already looking for a new job because this place is going to hell in a handbasket.

I recently started a new job – I am experienced in my role and have done it for several years. I was hired on a hybrid basis, 4 days in the office and one at home. All fine, except in the 2 months I have been there I have worked one day at home as the Ops Manager (not my direct manager but a company director so big cheese) keeps finding excuses for why he needs me in the office on my wfh day. In reality he barely speaks to me, doesn’t need me in the office and just doesn’t agree with wfh. He’s like this with everyone who tries to wfh, not just me.

I can live with being in the office. What I can’t live with with is not being able to do my job because I am not allowed on teams meetings because it is “too disruptive”. I manage a tech team of multiple disciplines. I am the only person of my job role in my team, but there are 5 across the organisation, one in each team and we are all experiencing this issue. Only my job role from the tech department are office based, the others are remote workers, therefore my entire team is working remotely and I have no other way to get in touch other than teams and email. The office is large open plan with 3 meeting rooms and no ‘cubbys’ for taking calls. There are a number of different departments in the office – customer care, sales, marketing, operations etc. Their whole teams are office based.

Understandably I cannot take up a meeting room for the entire time I am on calls – I have been told this is not a solution. I am having to do everything via email which is time consuming and quite frankly ridiculous – we do loads of demos and live drawings and discussions, I should literally be spending my day in calls with various different people and I just cant. As a result I am not being effective, my team are complaining they can’t get info and decisions off me and I am just completely out the loop – as a result the team is making mistakes, work is delayed etc. It’s a shit show.

I have spoken with my manager (home based) and he has spoken to his manager (hybrid) my manager is understanding but powerless to change the situation – he is also the other of my roles managers and confirmed they all have the same problem. His manager has said “everyone else is coping, we just need to get on with it” basically inferring we are just trying to wfh so we can slack off. I’ve suggested the 5 of my job role take up one of the meeting rooms all together, like a mini- office for us, and that is not acceptable, I’ve suggested they put us all in a far corner, away from others – also not acceptable. I’ve asked for solutions from them and been told “email” or get people in the office. I am not able to get them in the office, they have wfh, remote contracts and are based country wide (and in other countries).

I just don’t know what to do!

WIBU to just stop doing my job and wait to be fired? They don’t seem to care.

OP posts:
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Youneedas · Today 11:17

TheGodlyGirl · Today 11:13

If you have a hybrid contract you need to go to HR.

I would insist on clawing back the missed WFH days accumulatively, and wfh on those days, in a row.

after that continue wfh one day a week. If the big boss says NO, or anyone else, just remind them it’s in your contract.

after getting HR involved send a carefully curated email looping in hr and all other relevant parties: you are great at your job, but due to operational impossibilities and insensabilities, that have been imposed to no company gain, they are tying your hands and limiting your ability to do the great job you’ve been employed to do.

The big boss founded and owns the business. HR won’t be doing anything.

after getting HR involved send a carefully curated email looping in hr and all other relevant parties: you are great at your job, but due to operational impossibilities and insensabilities, that have been imposed to no company gain, they are tying your hands and limiting your ability to do the great job you’ve been employed to do.

someone who is on probation and been there 8 weeks really wouldn’t be sensible to do this

TheGodlyGirl · Today 11:13

If you have a hybrid contract you need to go to HR.

I would insist on clawing back the missed WFH days accumulatively, and wfh on those days, in a row.

after that continue wfh one day a week. If the big boss says NO, or anyone else, just remind them it’s in your contract.

after getting HR involved send a carefully curated email looping in hr and all other relevant parties: you are great at your job, but due to operational impossibilities and insensabilities, that have been imposed to no company gain, they are tying your hands and limiting your ability to do the great job you’ve been employed to do.

Youneedas · Today 07:43

Cordeliasdemonbabies · Yesterday 23:04

Because its incredibly inefficient for tech and software development. You need to be troubleshooting and problem solving in real time, often while screen sharing so people can look at the issue/code together. So much back and forth is needed, it will result in very long email chains that could be a quick conversation.

You wouldn't ask a doctor to do a consultation with a patient by email because of how many questions you need to ask and respond to. It's much, much easier to do verbally. Similarly running a training session. Or workshopping ideas for a script.

Some bits of work are just best done in meeting format. That is why pretty much every project management methodology requires regular standups and scrums (meetings).

Edited

Yes but who has the team been complaining to?

and it is very possibly to get information via email (and screen share!) and decisions.

Cordeliasdemonbabies · Yesterday 23:04

Youneedas · Yesterday 14:58

As a result I am not being effective, my team are complaining they can’t get info and decisions off me and I am just completely out the loop –

who are they complaining to?

why can’t they get decisions and info from you via email?

Edited

Because its incredibly inefficient for tech and software development. You need to be troubleshooting and problem solving in real time, often while screen sharing so people can look at the issue/code together. So much back and forth is needed, it will result in very long email chains that could be a quick conversation.

You wouldn't ask a doctor to do a consultation with a patient by email because of how many questions you need to ask and respond to. It's much, much easier to do verbally. Similarly running a training session. Or workshopping ideas for a script.

Some bits of work are just best done in meeting format. That is why pretty much every project management methodology requires regular standups and scrums (meetings).

ForeverCake · Yesterday 22:12

Don't know if anyone else has suggested it but keep your friends close and your enemies closer! I'd say invite him to a day (or as much as you can handle!!) with you and your team to bring to life what you do and why verbal communication is so important. You'll probably need a tenured pm on side to do it too, but it could make your bosses boss see your roles differently ... Maybe!

MumsTheWordYouKnow · Yesterday 21:00

Getofftheshitter · Yesterday 19:46

Yes, they seemed to think I was in my first job or something. And they didn't understand what a probation period was. Very odd. They also completely misunderstood the issue, thinking I was needed in the office so that management could see how I interact with my team, despite being clear the team are remote.

Some people on here are definitely just here to argue and put others down. Ignore them. Not worth your time and patience. In your position I’d definitely say I’ll be WFH as agreed so I can hold meetings without disturbing people in the office, if that’s what they are complaining about. I can’t imagine that. We have various pods to go to if we need to take a call that’s private. Otherwise we just sit at our desks and take calls and manage not to disturb each other. Your manager is an absolute tool telling you what you can and can’t do.

Youneedas · Yesterday 20:21

Youneedas · Yesterday 14:58

As a result I am not being effective, my team are complaining they can’t get info and decisions off me and I am just completely out the loop –

who are they complaining to?

why can’t they get decisions and info from you via email?

Edited

@Getofftheshitter are you able to clarify?

Getofftheshitter · Yesterday 19:46

MumsTheWordYouKnow · Yesterday 19:19

Weird, you’re assuming the OP doesn’t understand basic things. No one is reading your ramblings about teacher training.

Yes, they seemed to think I was in my first job or something. And they didn't understand what a probation period was. Very odd. They also completely misunderstood the issue, thinking I was needed in the office so that management could see how I interact with my team, despite being clear the team are remote.

OP posts:
MumsTheWordYouKnow · Yesterday 19:19

Realworld10 · 25/09/2026 21:26

Ok sorry, I now understand the frustration at not being able to your job without the means of enabling it. Please forgive my other responses to comments that it did sound like 'I'm too good for this role'. I'm just not used to 'not interacting'.

You should have a mentor/guidance and not be left to your own devices because workplaces have different systems, policies, protocols etc.

You may not be client facing but I think if you're a potential candidate they want to see how you would act face to face to then be entrusted with being able to communicate.

My advice would be to stick it out, ruffling feathers for a short probation time won't help, rather label you an issue and this can easily pass on in references and management from other places who know each other. This is sad but true, I've witnessed it.

Once you've passed you can move elsewhere and then give your review.

I would like to give my own experiences if it's any help?

Teacher training, I saw so much unfairness from the regime to students and staff alike. This was back in the 1990s yet unfortunately prevails, probably even more so with academies.

Disruptive students were sent out to another room, which also had the same behaviour, so sent to another room and at the time senior management was a head and a deputy and you didn't dare call on them because the outcome was how didn't you manage this youself if a good teacher, so heads of year but they were busy teaching their own clases or in their offices so the block was locked. Hence all sent out formed a group and went rampaging because they all to be put outside (time out passes)

Meanwhile we learning and real teachers had to give detentions at break, lunch, after school as an immediate sanction. The paperwork involved (before online and all done by ourseves handwritten) to allow detentionees in to first dinners, letters to send to parents knowing they wouldn't receive until at least a day later, so having to arrange a row of them, then of course the phone calls to the office to say Jake can't come then, we need to do a different one. This was a time in my training when it was all down to the teacher so many weeks every break, lunch and after school were filled up with time spent with students to talk about behaviour.

Also in my observations at that time, which prevail to now, is barely no time to to go to the loo, have a snack at break and eating at lunchtime. Break; bell goes, you have to dismiss class to leave in a calm manner, retain the ones who don't do it, have a word, so 5 mins later leaves you 10 mins. Go the staff toilet, down 2 flights of stairs and have to wait in a queue, but lucky if you have one on your floor, when one key has been prescribed and hanging up and it's gone. Leaves you 5 minutes now to have a few gulps of coffee and hoping the one responsible for milk that day has brought it. Take your covered up cup to classroom to stand outside the door ready to greet and hand bell tasks out then realise you haven't picked up the huge A167 register.

Apart from that, learning how to teach groups of teenagers manage general behaviour, them knowing you're training and pushing buttons, it was tough! Being keen and actually, for me, genuinely loving lots of those darn kids and making a difference with after school clubs and weekend activities, I worked a lot of extra hours but didn't think I wasn't paid, I just wanted do. I guess having it recognised was a bonus but not why I wrnt the extra mile.

I'm not particularly tough but was brought up to be resilient, work hard, this was the profession I chose so just ride the lows.

Excuse me please, know I'm rambling! My point being that after TT, I have been known to call out against establishment but was warned by older and wiser colleagues not to put my head above the wire.

Weird, you’re assuming the OP doesn’t understand basic things. No one is reading your ramblings about teacher training.

MumsTheWordYouKnow · Yesterday 19:18

Youneedas · 25/09/2026 21:08

This is embarrassing

Good luck Op.

You are embarrassing yourself.

MumsTheWordYouKnow · Yesterday 19:07

Realworld10 · 25/09/2026 20:26

That's extreme! He's on probation, which requires proving himself in the same roles as the others?

You're advising him to jack it in, which won't look good on a CV, rather than go with it to pass the short probation period to then have the qualifications and a tough experience to be prepared?

Goodness me, if all us trainee teachers gave up after the first few obstacles (which were/are far more challenging than where you located in front of a computer screen) the education system would collapse!

Honestly, a bit more backbone, suck it up, rather than complaining about anything that may be a bit challenging.

Why are you calling OP him?

MumsTheWordYouKnow · Yesterday 19:06

Why are you calling OP him?

topcat2014 · Yesterday 16:27

I can understand the big boss not liking working from home, and seeing it as a skivers charter.

What I can't understand is having people in an office then expecting them not to use the telephone? (or Teams etc)

This has been how offices have worked since the telephone was invented.

Youneedas · Yesterday 14:58

As a result I am not being effective, my team are complaining they can’t get info and decisions off me and I am just completely out the loop –

who are they complaining to?

why can’t they get decisions and info from you via email?

Youneedas · Yesterday 14:54

The multiple meetings you’ve been having with your home based manager… how do you have them? Via email?

Cordeliasdemonbabies · Yesterday 14:27

You've had some extremely odd comments on this thread OP from people who clearly don't understand project management in tech and seem to just want to have a go for no reason. The assumption that the COO must be correct because he is a founder when he is clearly batshit is bizarre. Have these people not heard of crazy CEOs? Elizabeth Holmes, Sam Bankman-Fried, the Brewdog dickhead etc. etc.

Federica1864 · Yesterday 13:16

Getofftheshitter · 24/09/2026 16:25

Yes, I got told it was disruptive and I wasn't to take calls at my desk. So I booked meeting rooms for my calls and was told that wasn't what meeting rooms were for, they were for in person meetings. I then asked what I should do and was told email.

The other people of my job role are in the same position and I've spoken to them - they're all looking for another job. It's awful. They basically sit twiddling their thumbs. They were all remote until a few months ago.

This is loopy. Definitely find something else!

Getofftheshitter · Yesterday 13:00

PruLeithsNecklace · Yesterday 12:44

It sounds like a crazy set up, but it is what it is. You can have all the employment laws in the world and try to reason with employers that something doesn’t make sense, but if you’ve got a crazy person at the helm they can find ways around them or decide the risk that anyone will spend the time and effort going to a tribunal is low enough that they can do what they want with impunity.

It’s clearly not for you (or many people I would imagine) so the best thing to do is leave asap, at least then you can frame it as ‘not a good fit’ when interviewing for new jobs.

Yeah, trying to decide if leaving asap is the best plan or whether just to put up and shut up and keep drawing a wage. Once I've passed my probation, it's a 3 month notice, though I'll likely be on gardening leave and 3 months is pretty standard in the industry anyway so won't be an issue for other employers (or at least it hasn't been previously or when I've hired people!

OP posts:
PruLeithsNecklace · Yesterday 12:44

It sounds like a crazy set up, but it is what it is. You can have all the employment laws in the world and try to reason with employers that something doesn’t make sense, but if you’ve got a crazy person at the helm they can find ways around them or decide the risk that anyone will spend the time and effort going to a tribunal is low enough that they can do what they want with impunity.

It’s clearly not for you (or many people I would imagine) so the best thing to do is leave asap, at least then you can frame it as ‘not a good fit’ when interviewing for new jobs.

Getofftheshitter · Yesterday 11:20

Imisssleep88 · Yesterday 10:51

I would continue to try to do your best in the situation, still try to do the WFH day, and then at the end of your probation period have all the issues written down as your reasons as to why you havent been able to fulfil your role.

My husband went to WFH during COVID and since changed roles, he took spends alot of time onto he phone to people all round the world, there is no one from his team in the local office so he stayed working from home, being on calls in a big office isn't workable so I understand your pain.

If at the meeting they refuse to adapt to help you do the job etc and get rid of you, then I would be speaking to acas about unfair dismissal personally.

Sounds horrid and would look elsewhere in the meantime time though.

Labour are supposed to be changing the laws to make it harder for employers to refuse WFH requests but what that involves, how many loopholes employers will have, and how long it will take is anyone's guess

They don't need to wait until the end of my probation period to get rid of me though, they can do it any time. When I've had employees where we've felt they won't fit the role, we've always got rid of them very quickly. It would be silly to wait. Plus my manager has assured me he's no intention of failing my probation.

I don't really understand it because I can't fulfil the requirements of the role in the office set up as it is, so not sure exactly how my boss is assessing me. Id want to see someone's manners and tone in meetings and how they deal with the stuff that comes up in real time, but they can't.

It's the oddest set up I've ever seen.

Was talking about it this morning with my old boss and she's as perplexed as me.

OP posts:
Getofftheshitter · Yesterday 11:14

Kestonlodge · Yesterday 10:11

Why did they allow you the first two weeks of having these meetings and calls whereas the policy of no meetings / calls had been in force for 3 months before your arrival?

Because no one told me. I wasn't allowed - as soon as I did, I was told not to.

It's not a written policy but a rule put in place by big boss. My team still expects me on the calls and emails with questions based off the calls. I haven't been invited/ removed from the meetings, just prevented from attending them live in the office due to this rule.

OP posts:
Imisssleep88 · Yesterday 10:51

I would continue to try to do your best in the situation, still try to do the WFH day, and then at the end of your probation period have all the issues written down as your reasons as to why you havent been able to fulfil your role.

My husband went to WFH during COVID and since changed roles, he took spends alot of time onto he phone to people all round the world, there is no one from his team in the local office so he stayed working from home, being on calls in a big office isn't workable so I understand your pain.

If at the meeting they refuse to adapt to help you do the job etc and get rid of you, then I would be speaking to acas about unfair dismissal personally.

Sounds horrid and would look elsewhere in the meantime time though.

Labour are supposed to be changing the laws to make it harder for employers to refuse WFH requests but what that involves, how many loopholes employers will have, and how long it will take is anyone's guess

WhatHappenedToYourFurnitureCuz · Yesterday 10:14

EligibleTern · Yesterday 08:49

Why are you relentlessly cross-examining the OP like this? It's been going on for days!

Edit - sorry, hours not days, it was someone else doing the cross-examination earlier!

Edited

I don't think it was. All three of the batshit cross-examiners have very similar and very unusual posting styles.

Kestonlodge · Yesterday 10:11

Getofftheshitter · 25/09/2026 20:55

The first 2 weeks I did and then I got told it had been noticed I was away from my desk a lot and that wasn't acceptable (yes, I explained why) so then I took the calls at my desk, typing instead of talking and was told that was not acceptable - no calls in the office. I then delegates someone else to take the daily stand up etc. And started doing the listening back stuff. I've done a couple of 1:1s in a meeting room, that seems acceptable.

Why did they allow you the first two weeks of having these meetings and calls whereas the policy of no meetings / calls had been in force for 3 months before your arrival?

catspyjamas1 · Yesterday 09:32

catspyjamas1 · Yesterday 09:21

OP, this place sounds batshit!!! I have worked in similar product & tech setup with agile and scrums for many years.

If they aren't co-locating in specific offices (product, devs, design, PM etc.), then you have no choice but to do calls.

Last two places I worked had a mix of co-location for some teams and remote (India mainly) with stand-ups etc. and offices and equipment setup would facilitate people dialling in if needed. Where I work now has 100% co-location.

WTF!! These are not serious people running the company.

Good luck finding another job, there are plenty of companies who run product and tech teams properly. 🌼

PS. And for the PPs banging on about "But he's the founder and CEO". These people are not gods.

They might be smart, but most have no clue how to run an actual growing business. Am experiencing exactly this right now - OP, you have my sympathies!

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