AIBU to feel uneasy about a teacher commenting on my daughter's eyes?

The point is he should be self-aware enough and professional enough to go nowhere near such comments. The phone call sounds very odd to me too, I have never known such a thing.

This is a huge red flag. There were loads of male teachers at my secondary school who made “borderline” comments like this all the time, it was completely normalised. One of those men has just been arrested for offences against children more than 25 years on. The offences he has pleaded guilty to happened recently. The culture of impunity at the school was such that we all knew he was wrong (and not just him) but it was only ever things that made you feel uncomfortable but you could explain away. The fact that he actually said it to your daughter and not you is an even redder flag. It’s grooming behaviour. I would report it to the school to be honest. I am feeling very strongly about this at the moment because of what my teacher has gone on to do (and was probably doing all along).

YANBU. Totally inappropriate.

Not odd at all that he is phoning to praise her performance at school; in a school I worked in we were actively encouraged to do so.

The eye thing - yes that's a bit weird.

YABU
Probably he left himself go to a nicery and immediately realised he might have been misunderstood, he then phoned you to reassure you it's nothing of that creepy kind.

If he really was a pedo he wouldn't put any spotlight on himself with you.

Trust your gut feeling on this. I think it's an inappropriate comment. Add to that the same man calling you on the flimsy pretext of wanting to praise your daughter's academic prowess (why couldn't he save the praise for the end-of-term report?) - it's creepy AF.

In our school teachers did ring home or often sent a surprise post card congratulating the pupil for good work , kindness or some other positive attribute . It brought great joy to child and parent. It may have been an impulsive comment about her eyes , unless there was other strange comments I would not report it to school .

😂😂
I think this friend needs to change training providers (or start paying attentions in lectures and staff meetings), this is NOT the reason we do positive phonecalls home 😂

Goodness, this thread has reminded me of a teacher I had when I was about 12 ( very early 80s). He sang ‘Don’t it make my brown eyes blue’ at me first time I looked at him. Later I had a sense of someone staring at me and looked up. He was looking at me and made kissing movements with his lips. His behaviour was absolutely outrageous.

OP I would have loved to have received a call like that about my son when he was at school. It would have made my day. I think the comment about your daughter’s eyes was very inappropriate, and he should have known better. I wouldn’t contact the school immediately, but would monitor it closely and encourage your daughter to tell you if she feels uncomfortable.

Would it bother you if a female teacher commented on her eyes? I’m not being snarky- I’m curious.

I’ve made many phone calls but this one sounds odd. I misread it then, I thought it was the same teacher who made the very personal comment (to a 14 yr old girl) about her appearance. Parents should always trust their gut feelings and I find your comment bitter and spiteful.

I agree. I would let these recent incidents slide but would be hyper vigilant to anything similar going on. Would not be letting this man think he had worked his way into my good books.

Many, many, many people have said that their children's school do phone calls.
.also it was a different teacher who mentioned the eyes. And "trust your gut..." if you are actually a teacher I worry more about your pupils than the o.p's daughter

Not creepy at all.You cant say anything at all anymore without being called a pervert

We had a teacher phone and were surprised it was praise for how much my son was enjoying McBeth! A friend who is doing teacher training said sometimes teachers need to phone parents to practise doing feedback!

My DC’s school call when a pupil is working very hard.

I don't think this adds much to the discussion but a teacher commented on my eyes when I was around 11. It was mid conversation about something I was doing in class. He said "you have really unusual eyes" or similar then went back to talking about my work and never made any sort of personal remark again. It didn't feel strange or uncomfortable at the time, but I do still remember it decades later. For the record they are a bit - but not exceptionally - unusual.

If people honestly believe that one comment with no context and quite superficial is a safeguarding concern then I suspect that teachers are wary of every word they utter.

Keep a v close eye on this. Im a teacher and it’s completely inappropriate, I cannot think of any context it wouldn’t be. Safeguarding is huge in schools. You literally look through the lens of it constantly and he will know this. His phone call to you also is odd, all feels wrong and trust your gut.

I make positive phone calls home all the time. It’s nice for parents to hear their children are doing well and are polite, respectful people. Far too often parents dread the school number coming up, particularly in secondary.

@Kickinthenostalgia When I was a child, there were lots of adult women who complimented children on nice features, and sometimes I was complimented. It's very common, so I'm not sure how it's weird.

Call on Monday and report thecomment to safeguarding lead. No teacher would say this.

I don’t think it’s unusual to phone a parent and praise a student, some schools send postcards and only some teachers do this, the same with phone calls. As for the comment, lots of things are said off the cuff by staff , I think the assumption it’s the start of grooming is totally over the top.