AIBU to tell my neighbour’s Year 6 child to stop walking to school with us?

It seems a bit mean to tell this child not to walk with you if he isn't any trouble. Maybe he could walk four paces behind.

I grew up as an estate kid and that's what normal people did, we all mucked in, everyone knew each other. That's how I wanted to live too. I lived in social housing with some very shitty parents, it's not the kid's fault. My neighbour's didn't have cars so their kids never went anywhere in the holidays. I find this post completely alien. I would not care if a kid tagged along walking to school, that's sweet that they want to. Imagine being told you're not wanted as 10 year old, that's just cruel.

How will you explain the banning of this boy to your own children, op? Do you think they’ll see your point of view? What will they learn from this?

So you’re going to tell a 10 year old he can’t walk with you? Whats he going to do lag behind a few steps? Honestly I don’t see the issue myself and wouldn’t have a problem with it. You clearly have a problem, so speak to the parents, not the child.

But it sounds like they are tagging on, not just walking in the same direction as many other families surely are too.
The fact they only appear out of the house when they appear suggests they have been told to walk with them. It would be interesting to see what happened if OP wasn't going that day. When would they realise this and would they then walk the boy to school, find another family for him to tag onto or would they leave him to go alone?

I think it's rude that it sounds like they expect him to be part of their group but not to have said anything, even a casual word about Zack is going to start walking to school on his own now. If you could just keep an eye out for us it would be appreciated.

I know. What an absolute misery the OP must be.

He’s in Year 6, not reception. I’d have no problem with him chumming us along, if it didn’t affect our timings.

What a reflection on where we are as a society that rather than a simple act of generosity to a child, negative feelings towards the parents predominate. Certainly the parents should have said something. I would be knocking on their door to ask them what they had in mind (taking the word of an 11-year old bring unwise) but I would be pleased to be given a chance to help a neighbour.

That's really sweet of you, but you would have arranged this with the parents so quite different. My old neighbours sometimes would ask me to walk their son back from school - not a problem, we were neighbourly with each other and they asked.

For goodness sake. You can't stop the child walking along the same pavement at the same time and to the same destination as you.

I used to be constantly driving neighbour's kids to school with mine, and usually had 2 extras in the holidays if I took mine anywhere. It takes a village etc etc. What do you think is going to happen? Do you live in a dangerous traffic or crime area?

This is the crux of the situation. The op has not agreed to take responsibility for this stranger's child but would undoubtedly be held accountable if an accident occurred on the way to school.

Patronising much?

I used to only be able to walk my kids to/from school twice a week as I worked the other days. Obviously we spent a lot of quality time together at weekends and after school on those two days but random chats we’d have on the way/to from school are still precious memories for me now they’re teenagers.

Maybe you just don’t have that much fun with your children on your walk to school?! Some people do.

However, his mum apparently wants him to walk with us for safety reasons, while she stays at home.

If that's what she actually said rather than his interpretation of it, she's a CF.

They definitely shouldn't, but yes, it is entirely possible, sadly.
I mean, I'm sure nothing will happen and everyone will get to school safely - but personally I would double check with the mum that he is safe to make his own way and the school know, as it's everyday AND because of what the mum said about danger.

Literally no one would hold the op responsible for this.

I really don't get how people are missing that the other child's mum has allegedly told the child to walk with them because it's dangerous. This isn't an older child with his parent's blessing to walk to and from school alone or with others. The mum is literally giving her son the message that he needs to stick with this family - implying that they will look out for him - all without any discussion with them.
It's likely there will be no issues, but if God forbid, the OP is busy with her own kids and this boy gets hit by a car - there definitely will be people that will point the finger at her, maybe even the boy's parents. 'But he always walks with you so why weren't you paying attention?' etc.
Humans are both entitled and quick to apportion blame unfortunately!
I'd have a quick chat with her along the lines of, 'Hes okay to be unsupervised right? And the school know? My focus can only fully just manage my two, one's only four so you understand what they're like at that age...'

“it costs you nothing.”

except it costs her invaluable one-on-one (one on two?!) time chatting with her kids, if that’s what she enjoys. That’s not something I would’ve given up when mine were primary age.

Yep that’s the other element to it, but your post I was responding to said “let him tag along” - valuable family time is another reason not to want this.

Fair enough but OP hasn't said that, she's worried about being held responsible for any problems.

The OP hasn't given any suggestion of harassment. The boy is a friend of her children.

I get it. I wouldn’t want to take on the extra responsibility of another child early morning, it’s just another thing to think about. It would also irk me that the parent hasn’t spoken to me. Are you sure the parent knows about it? I’d be curious to know what happens if your kids stay home one day. Does he walk home with you as well?

I wouldn’t have wanted a random neighbourhood kid tagging along on our school run walks. It was some of our best time together for chatting and I wouldn’t have wanted anyone else ruining that.

I will not be walking with you. You are free to walk by yourself, but I will not be taking responsibility for you. And yes to the school say you feel harassed and put in a position where it is assumed that you are taking responsibility.

The point is the assumption of responsibility. The kid is free to walk at any time but if they are harassing you to walk with you because the parents don't want to take responsibility, I'd absolutely say it because otherwise you could end up with problem.

This!!!!!

sorry but your walking to school to same way. What do you want him to do leave 2 mins later than you and walk behind you. You say you haven’t spoken to the parents so how do you know he is told to walk with you.
This really isn’t a big deal! And if this really is the worst thing in your life you may want to check yourself.