AIBU to tell my neighbour’s Year 6 child to stop walking to school with us?

I don't know what is more surprising ... that the OP actually did this and admitted it on a public forum or that more than half of the voters agree that it is perfectly reasonable behaviour towards a child. And they are modelling this behaviour to their own children.

@Msjamtoast This

“We’ve actually tried leaving 5 minutes earlier or 5 minutes later to avoid him, but he lives on the same street as us….”

How mean!

But why are you trying to avoid him? You won’t say if he’s actually bothering you on the walk, or just walking along nicely with your kids? How long does the walk take?

How nasty can you get @Msjamtoast
Just shocked tbh. As long as you’re alright eh!

Everyone to their own but if the kid is polite and gets on with your children I don’t see a problem. I’d be knocking on the door just to say hello and introduce myself to the parents and to be friendly with the neighbours.

And you're misrepresenting or misunderstanding me. No I am not scared of a random child walking next to me. But I would be anxious if heard a parent had decided that their child was supposed to walk with me regularly within the context that I was to support their safety and had told them this - without ever even speaking to me and especially if I am already looking after two children whilst walking to school, one of whom is only four or five.
Personally, as I've made clear, I would speak to the mum in this situation.

Nope, they don't vet them. But they want parents to confirm their children are allowed to walk home by email, rather than just allowing all of the year group as standard.

Am a gen x-er myself. Yes I have a common mental health problem.

Good lord, what is wrong with people? As kids we would all walk together with an adult. Takes a village to raise a child and all that.

Either you’re leaving something out along the lines of he’s causing you actual trouble or yeah I think you’re unreasonable.
I read threads like this on here and wonder if I just come from a different world. Like there’s no kindness, empathy or community left in the world. Maybe it’s because I grew up in a village who knows.

Your school vets which kids in year 6 are allowed to walk to school on their own? Are you sure? In our school it was the parents who give that permission and let the school know.

If you get "extrememly anxious" over a kid walking to school next to you and your kids then God help you, life is going to throw much greater things your way believe me. Does your generation regularly get anxiety over such things? It's totally ridiculous to me as a Gen Xer.

Without a discussion with OP, taking her for granted. 😫

I wasn’t asking who was responsible for me in year 6! 😜 I was just saying I was that kid once! And yes I actually had to walk ahead or sometimes behind that childminder most of the way home, while she shushed my friend not to talk to me! Very embarrassing 😳 but it makes us resilient and learn to become independent.

I always used to be joined by several neighbours’ children when walking my two daughters to school. They all arrived at school safe, happy and relaxed. I can’t see why it’s a problem for you.

The neighbour’s child is friendly with yours, is going to the same place and wants to join you……why ever not?

Some reactions here are hilariously over the top.
Most Y6 children are encouraged to walk to school on their own in preparation for secondary school, however many parents feel a bit nervous about that.
The neighbour is obviously not expecting OP to supervise the child or make conversation with him, but just be the ‘safe adult’ to be around in the unlikely event that someone tried to abduct the child / there is a car accident / a drunk homeless person starts interacting with them… the type of things that almost never happen but parents worry about when their DC starts walking to school on their own.

Yes that's lovely and neighbourly, but the kids you gave lifts to, you would have discussed and agreed that with their parent's first, right? And as you say, 'Everyone knew each other.'
That's just the thing in this scenario, the parents don't know each other. She is apparently telling her child to go with this family and implying they will keep him safe - without ever speaking to the OP. The OP doesn't even know for sure if the school are okay with this child in particular walking alone. Our primary is very strict on permissions for this, even for year 6.
The OP has her hands full walking to school with her own kids. It's all very well trying to make this about human decency, but if this was happening to me I would be extremely anxious about having a regular responsibility placed on me in this way with not even a quick chat?
Again, this is not the case of an older definitely independent child simply tagging along. He is saying that he is being told to go with them for safety reasons.

This is probably one of the few situations like this where I wouldn't be bothered. They aren't asking you to rock up and wait for him to get ready (one of the main reasons I never agreed to, or expected anyone else to, help with school runs), and he's highly unlikely to actually require 'watching' as he's yr6. He's ready on time and he gets on with your child.

If it's bothering you though, yes it's the parents you should speak to. The child will probably take it personally either way, unfortunately.

Her own child takes himself to school, why on earth would she do that?

This post is why I'm glad I don't have to have anything to do with school mums anymore.
YABU. Let the poor kid walk alongside you .

This could be an opportunity for you both to divide and conquer. You could speak to the mum and suggest you each take it in turns to take all three kids.

I dont see your problem, yr6 I'm assuming is nearly 11 years of age. He's fine. Year 2/3 /4 I might be speaking with the parents . Loosen up a little . Its nice he wants to mix with the little ones . Not many of that age would

I do get where you are coming from. The parent should really ask you before instructing their child to join you. However, if he/she is polite and doesn't cause a problem, I would just go along with it (since you don't own the road and it is realistically only a year) but maybe say to the mum "I've noticed X joins us, that's fine but just to be clear my plans are fluid and so I wouldn't want you or him/her to rely on me". That's probably enough to let them know that you are not responsible for him/her.

When I was a child, children would walk to school on their own from the age of 8 but some children had more active/involved parents and others didn't and there was always a certain amount of picking up parental stuff for the less involved parents - that's life to an extent. But I do get that some parents do get other people to bat their balls rather more than others and as you haven't volunteered for this then it might feel a bit of an imposition. However, if something did happen (he gets injured by a bus) would you realistically get involved? I certainly hope so. It is unlikely on a school run to ever become an issue - some things I'd let go of and this is one of them.

Year 6 is probably ok to walk alone to school. If he is just tagging along then what is the issue?
No one is going to hold you accountable.
You could leave a little earlier maybe or kbock on his door and ask his mother outright