AIBU to tell my neighbour’s Year 6 child to stop walking to school with us?

The thing that makes it sound like she is being a CF is the fact she picks him up from school. If she was confident and happy with him walking alone then surely she wouldn't be doing this.
I think she has to pick up as it's generally harder to sync timings unlike in the mornings, as classes may get let out at slightly different times therefore the son might not know whether the OP has been and gone or is still waiting for her own children. The mornings he can sit and wait at the window til he spots the family heading off.

Because it's more fun to walk with a friend and chat to him perhaps rather than walk on your own? Do you know children? Many are far more sociable than the adults posting on here.

My kids used to love walking to school with kids from different year groups. Everyone would end up walking together. It’s a great way for kids to form a support network and you get to find out what is happening in school from different perspectives. What on earth has happened to communities?

Technically the school has decided he is safe to go to and from school.
in your view is it safe? Would you let your own year 6 child make the walk?
it seems he just likes walking with you and I think you may struggle to change this without telling the child or the parent directly and I think it’s going to be hard to do that without sounding petty.

I understand your frustration though.

If primary school got a whiff of kids in y4 or younger walking to school alone they would contact the parents for a bollocking and potentially make a safe guarding referral. They took it incredible serious. Didn't matter if the oldest kids in year 4 were the same age as the youngest in year 5.

So why does the child not just walk to school on their own why do the parents need to send him with the neighbours (OP) then if the OP is not responsible for them why the need for the parents to mention the neighbour (OP) at all?

Do you enjoy the walk as a time to chat with your DC? That's the part that would bother me most. It is rude of the mother not to ask you first, but in a way it's better because if you do want to put a stop to it you have the initiative. Just knock and say you are sorry but you can't walk her son to school every day, and hope she can make another arrangement.

How can a school enforce a policy about what age a child walks to school, especially at Y4. Perfectly safe for many children with no roads to cross, etc. Once inside the gates, fine I can understand rules and enforcement, but walking to school !!!

She wants him to walk with you because she thinks that's safe for him, so it seems to me that she's expecting you to look out for him and deal with any issues which may occur whilst he's walking with you.

The OP feels that she is responsible for this year six child who has started walking to school with her family specifically because he has told her child that his mum has encouraged him to walk with them for safety everyday.
If it's true that the child's parents want him to be with an adult/family to get safely to school (no matter his age or year group) then it's unfair for them to rely on others for this without even checking it's okay with them. Anyway, the OP doesn't want to be responsible as she wants her attention to be on her own DC's. Which is fair enough.
I am a worrier and one of my two DC's has ASD and might appear fairly NT at times, but still requires supervision/support walking to/from school. If at primary, one of my neighbours (who had never spoken to us) had assumed I'd be at least partially responsible for their child on the way to school as well as my two without even asking me I wouldn't have been impressed. (This is just to explain my perspective!)

He’s just walking to the same place as you and he is already friends with your children. Saying something could make it very awkward for the children and honestly quite mean. Maybe if you say something then his parents can walk with you too or even more awkward if they didn’t walk with you because as you’re going to the same place at the same time they will be walking just ahead or behind you.
If you really don’t want to walk with them then leave earlier.
Just remember that the children are at school together so having a pal in another year is probably quite nice for them.
Another thing to consider is in 2 years time, how would you feel if your child was told not to walk with a friend to school.

My only concern would be what if there was a day when you’re not going in (sickness etc).

But would the other mum be there for OP if she needed her? CF generally do not return favours!

I’d speak to the mum and allow the child to walk with us. You never know, you may need her to repay the favour one day!

Why on earth would you be reluctant for him to walk with you? I honestly can’t comprehend this.

You can’t look a 10 year old in the eye and say “you can’t walk with us” on a public pavement. That’s just mean! You can however, knock on the child’s door, speak to his parents and ask if he’s been told to walk with you and why. This is a sensitive adult to adult conversation, don’t be mean to a child’s face, that’s brutal.

Of course they would, because they will naturally feel guilty and look for someone to blame. No one is logical when grieving a child.

You should speak to the parent, not the child, and be clear that this is a general thing, nothing specific to their child’s behaviour.

Imagine being 10 and being told by an adult you can’t walk with them! That’s the kind of thing that would stay with a sensitive child their whole life.

This is why you should address it with the parent, not the child.

Why is OP mean? Because they don’t want to be forced to spend time with other people’s kids?

Maybe OP doesn’t want the responsibility, maybe they want to spend some quality time walking with their own kids, maybe they just find the other kid irritating. Whatever the reason, OP doesn’t want to spend time with this kid and they have actively tried to avoid them in the kindest way possible. Instead some entitled parent thinks it’s okay to pawn off their own responsibilities on to someone else and the OP doesn’t want anything to do with that. And you know what? That is okay.

What isn’t okay is the other kids’ parents allowing this to happen without checking with OP first (they don’t even know each other!) and not teaching their own child about social etiquette and boundaries.

Of course the parents might not know anything about this. But I very much doubt that is the case here.

And where did I say they did??? I live 3 mins walk from the local primary so see them walking there. I doubt many people would be walking 20 mins to school unless they had no choice

And I think you took the autocorrect typo of mums that changed to mins. Although why minutes would be walking and chatting I don't know unless you are trying to be smart

Maybe the lad said this as a white lie because he wants company on the way to school. Maybe not. Who cares - is he putting you out in some way? I would imagine the walk will be more interesting for your y4 with a peer to walk with.

If he's a pain then talk to the parents but otherwise I would take this as a positive thing.

If you are telling your kids you are leaving early or late to avoid this kid what are they learning from you? What are they learning about you?

I haven’t done it for over 5 years but no we didn’t see many people on our route until we got nearer the school. Our walk was about 20 minutes. Not sure why you think everyone lives two minutes walking distance from school.

Yes, I agree with this.
The parents haven't given you any responsibility. So when you cross the road, you haven't got to hold his hand or do any thing special. He just crosses himself. You are just there for the child's peice of mind.
I would just let him walk with you.

My son used to walk to school on his own in year six (about a 10 minute walk) and would meet people on the way going in the same direction. I would never want other people to think they were responsible for him. Sometimes he would walk with the same children. There was never an issue but if there would have been someone I am sure would have called me.
It’s difficult because he is old enough to walk on his own and maybe you all leave at the same time and end up walking together. The issue is whether they think you’re responsible for his safety. I wouldn’t have put that on anyone else when my son was walking to school.
But like other posters have said you don’t know whether that’s the case. And wouldn’t you help him if he needed it anyway? You wouldn’t just walk on by? Surely?

My bet of the child is on his own in house and is nervous and that is why the parents can't walk him. They are at work

Ops not any more responsible than if the kid was walking 10 meters ahead.
Nothing has been agreed with parents. No responsibility has been assumed.
its a year 6 getting used to walking - it’s been 3 weeks. By Christmas child will likely not care or your year 4 will want to run on ahead with them,