AIBU to tell my neighbour’s Year 6 child to stop walking to school with us?

Perfect

You are in no way responsible gor this child. Why do you think you are, its a bit presumptuous.

Well because you haven't had a conversation with the parents is fine because you haven't accepted any responsibility so i wouldn't consider it an issue!
We had kids tagging along with us and my children walked with others by year 6 .
Never fretted about responsibilities,just cracked on with the day.Really am not sure what the issue is TBH .

‘Oh hi, neighbour mum. X is a great kid but my two are a lot of work. He’s welcome to tag along with us if he likes the company but I don’t have a spare eye to watch over him ‘

An 11 is old enough to walk alone unless there's some particular problem. You haven't agreed to be responsible for him so you aren't. Let him tag along if he wants.

I think talk to the mum.

I suspect it’s more likely that the parents are encouraging him to walk alone for independence.
he doesn’t want to do this, so is watching you and tagging along.

Can you drive to school for a couple of days? Walk another route the different way?

I'd speak to the parents and say you have the same concerns about safety so think its worth formalising an agreement about you doing a walk-share: you can do mornings and they can do pick ups and you can formalise it together the school.

When they inevitably push back, I'd make a point of setting off earlier or simply saying youre not haopy for their child to walk with you because you cant supervise them all to the standard youre happy with and ultimately, whatever they say about yoi not needing to be responsible for their DC, it's simply not true; if it were, DC would be walking alone.

Major CF behaviour.
Putting you in charge without a conversation.

The OP has not been put in charge.

If the parents are at work, she can go back and knock at other times when they're in.

Your situation of being put up 2 years at primary is extremely unusual. Pupils don't tend to be put up a year at all in state primary. Occasionally they start later, so some may be older, but it's vanishingly unlikely to be a Y4 aged kid in Y6.

The benefit of the DC chatting to an older class is not some great boon. It's nice to have time together in the mornings, especially for working parents who's contact time can be limited in the week. It's nice for the kids too. This is not some win for the OP and her DC. It's CF parents palming their kid on her and she's right to not be up for that.

Go round in the evening then? She doesn’t need to necessarily speak to them at school drop off time but a conversation should be had if the kid has been told the walk is dangerous and he must stick with OP. It’s not fair on her and it raises questions like what if OP’s not walking to school because the kids are sick or have the dentist or whatever.

Knock on their door and speak to the parents “Alfie says you’ve told him he needs to walk to school with us. Unfortunately I have my hands full with my own two as they’re much younger so I won’t be able to have him walk with us”.

Major CF behaviour.
Putting you in charge without a conversation.

You knock on their door and TELL them that walking to school is your time to chat to your children and NOT supervise their child.

This is the height of entitlement.

If the child is too young to walk alone, it is for them to sort out, not to impose on you without a word.

If they don't respect what you say, talk to the school and involve safeguarding.

This is beyond the walking, this is about childcare being foisted on you without so much as two words being spoken.

They wouldn't do it to your husband, it's always women who have to deal with this type of CFxxkery.

Knock and and tell the parents hes fine tagging along but you wont be responsible for him if he veers off somewhere else or starts misbehaving. You and your children will walk straight on

I wouldn’t be happy either. The school run is my time with my children.

My year 6 started walking alone to school this term, but she’s quite sociable and was bored on her own after the first few weeks. So she’s walking with us now and younger DD’s friends.

Is he just being sociable?

I know I’m not up for anyone extra some mornings but he’s going your way anyway, so I don’t think you need to feel responsible

To all those saying 'knock on the door' - what if both parents are at work?

Also, I would ask the y6 how old he is. I was put up 2 years when I was at primary school, so was in class with kids 2 years older than me. Of course I was unaware of this as a v young child, and was socially ostracized by my classmates because of being much less mature than they were. I would have loved a friend of the same age.....Is this going on? I do sympathise with the idea of having to look after 3 kids rather than 2, but your y4 is probably getting a lot of benefit from chatting to a child in a higher class every morning.

Just knock on the door and talk to the parents! Say you’re worried because of what the kid said about the walk being dangerous and that he needs to walk with you. You can be nice about it and say whilst it’s nice to occasionally bump him to him, because he’s a lovely boy, you cannot be responsible for his safety because you have 2 younger ones to look after nor can you guarantee what time you leave or what happens when the kids are off sick. So he needs to be ‘walking alone’ (and really Y6 should be old enough unless there’s something unusual about your route) or with a parent if they don’t feel he’s ready yet. I wouldn’t say anything directly to the kid though. It’s not his fault that his parents have told him to do this.

I'd find that unacceptable and rude. You're being treated as a de facto childminder with no agreement or reciprocity. In my area I'd dodge it by altering our walking route/time but that might be harder in some areas where there's only one possible route.

really don't see what the problem is.

She wants to walk her own kids to school, not someone else's.

The child could be worried about doing the walk on his own for various reasons.

I wouldn’t let it bother me, but I would prioritise care of my own DC and just view him as a hanger on.

As PP pointed out, if you saw any child about to get run over or fallen over, you would help them surely? It’s not really any different to that.

It's not parental laziness to let your child walk to school on their own.

I wouldn't say anything, OP, unless your children don't like the other child.

It is probably a new thing walking to school alone and dc probably truncated the message

Eg mum says, “it’s safest to walk on familiar routes where you might see people you know. Be extra careful crossing that busy road. If you see Billy and his mum, you could cross with them.”

I wouldn’t make a big deal of it. I’m sure it won’t be long before the kid is confident and doesn’t need you.

You aren’t “responsible”.

If you see the kid literally can’t cross a road on his own, or has stepped out dangerously, have a word with his mum. Otherwise just let him tag along.