AIBU to tell my neighbour’s Year 6 child to stop walking to school with us?

Tricky one as a Y6 child is allowed to walk by themselves with parental agreement and if he walks near you, the air is free kind of thing. I think if you spoke to the parents, they will just deny saying that to him. I don't actually believe that they would let him walk on his own if they actually thought it was dangerous. He probably just want company? I am not saying that you should look after him or anything but I can't see what you can do really if he is just walking alongside you.

Walk slightly earlier, walk another route?

I really don't know what you can possibly do to stop it? You can't stop a child leaving their house at the same time as you and walking the same route as you?

Presumably she has breakfast and dinner, bedtime, etc. with the kids? What sort of chat can only be done on the school run?

Even if it was the only time she spent with her children (even though that’s not what she is saying) why is that sad? Parents now have to work full time and rely on after school clubs ect, that time in the morning is important for both parents and children.

Its just another kid from your kids school who happens to live in your street and likes chatting to your kids on the way to school, so what? Stop making it something bigger than it is.

I think the issue is even if you are not responsible for the child, when they are walking with you, you still feel responsible for them. It’s an extra pressure in the morning that you haven’t signed up to. I wouldn’t mind it occasionally but not every morning.

Is the school run literally the only time you spend with your children? That’s quite sad.

You need to talk to his parents. I see nothing wrong with him walking with you and your kids if he’s polite and he plays with them as you say he does. But as more of a spontaneous thing rather than have his parents told him to walk with you without actually discussing it with you? I would not say anything to him though. Maybe he’s just tagging along as his parents have said not to walk alone without finding a solution to that! Not really his fault.

See this is my viewpoint but I feel it’s the minority and that we are supposed to feel mean for not accommodating this!

I work with kids all day. The time I walk to and from school with my own just us is precious. We talk about all kinds of things, random things like do robins go on holiday or anything that’s worrying him or what he might have for lunch at school.

I wouldn’t want to share any of that with another child tagging all with us, unless it was an occasional favour for a friend.

How embarrassing for the Y6 kid

The child is what 10 or 11? I wouldn't have a problem with that, he would just be there behind or beside me/kids.

I think the issue stems from the feeling that his mum is sitting back having a coffee in her PJs while OP does the "school run" for her! I suppose that would annoy me a bit come to think about it!

@Msjamtoast
Personally - I'd just make sure to mom that you are not responsible for him. And continued being a nice neighbour. It is good for your Y4 kid to have a friend on the street. And if the Y6 kid is generally well behaved - there is really no extra effort on your end that is required.
And there is a built-in benefit of your Y4 kid having someone to talk to closer to their age.

The awkwardness the "don't walk with us anymore" message that the poor Y6 kid receives is not worth it. It'll affect your Y4 kid who would lose a friend on the street. Why do that????

The cheeky parent signed you up for walking her child to and from school without even having the manners to speak to you!

I wouldn't have liked this as the school run was important for chatting to my own children.

I'd definitely be speaking to his parents about it.

But you are not responsible if there is no arrangement in place with his parents. I guess that he joins you if he sees you exactly when you are leaving the house; as there is no arrangement, you have no obligation of waiting for him or anything like that. I don't see the issue...it happenned to me the other day, without arrangement a kid that sometimes plays with my daughter joined us and walked with us, I don't see the harm really. I was not fully responsible for her as no arrangement in place, but if there was an emergency I would have helped her of course, as with any other kid in the street

I don’t understand what the problem is; he’s a kid and we should all be looking out for them.

Noone has asked you to take responsibility for this child.
He probably feels safer walking along with you and if he’s kind to your children, what is the harm? Have you asked your kids if they’re happy he walks either way them or are they unbothered?

If you don’t want to have a conversation with the parents, what can you do other than leave earlier or later to try to avoid him. If the parents question you and ask where you are, then that’s them being cheeky to assume that you will always be there to take him.

However, y6 is when kids need to get independent for secondary school and it’s sad that people have no sense of community & can’t look out for each other.

Another thing to consider, when your child gets to Yr7 this kid will be in Yr9. it might be nice for this kid to repay favour and walk with your kid to school etc.

I would be generous and assume the parent is anxious and while making a general point about being safe, etc mentioned you. Or said “you can always walk to X and his mum”. Perhaps the child feels safer walking with you but is trying to play it cool by saying his mum told him to tag along with you

def many things it could be. Prob best to talk to their parents if it’s a problem.

I still don’t understand what you want him to do to avoid you! How long is the walk anyway?

We'd always walk in groups as children, it might be beneficial for your children to have a network of kids to walk with later on.

Is it that three children is a bit difficult to manage, or that you just value the time with your own children?

Agree. He shouldn't need any additional 'supervising' and he's in y6 so presumably he won't be walking that way at that time next year? It's nice for your kids to be on good terms with older ones as they eventually become more independent themselves.

Speak to his mum if you like but I actually think this is too small to even bother- you can just say to him 'just make sure your mum knows we won't always be walking every day, she's OK with you walking alone if we aren't around isn't she? OK great.'

Its possible his mum hasn't said that at all and maybe he is nervous about walking alone and hasnt told her that for some reason, or he's told his mum he is walking with you and she just hasn't checked that that'sok with you, or maybe she said walk with your friends, its good for you to start getting used to it since you'll be going to secondary school soon, and he's picked you.

When I was a kid most parents didnt walk their children to school by the last year of junior school. My mum was considered hugely over protective because she did and it was really embarrassing to be the only 10 year old with their mum walking them to school. Even if it was secretly nice. I can imagine a 10 year old nowadays feeling that way too.

Exactly... not an issue!