AIBU to tell my neighbour’s Year 6 child to stop walking to school with us?

The school won’t give a shit because he’s in year 6, kids are allowed to walk to and from school alone from year 5. He’s technically doing this but chatting to OP’s child on the way. Unless this walk is an almighty 1 hour hike with treacherous paths and wild bears, OP isn’t “responsible” for him.

I do understand where you are coming from. And I do think it’s very cheeky of his parents to not at least run it by you. They don’t know you, and don’t know if you’re a dangerous person. So to me their idea of safeguarding their child by making them walk with a stranger they haven’t even vetted themselves even by just chatting to you is insane.

BUT, if the child happily walks with my children and isn’t causing them any harm I would have no issue with them walking with me. Because I would know in my heart they were getting to school safely. Regardless of their parents being idiots. I couldn’t leave a child on its own who didn’t have anyone looking after them. I would at least keep an eye on them on the way to school to ensure their safety.

If I was you I would speak to their parents.

A sense of community is very different from being taken advantage of.

Speak to the school. Make it clear that you have never agreed to this and you will not be responsible for that child if anything were to happen along the way.

I agree with this. As long as he’s behaving and your kids are ok with it.

Having a sense of community and looking out for each other is important.

i had this problem once and the child told me she wasn’t going to school, i told if she wasn’t going to school go home. Around 30 min later i spot her crying outside her house as no one was home so i took her to school and explained. Very difficult situation to be in

id imagine the assumption that op is now responsible for the year 6 childs walk to school!

Is the kid rude, disrespectful, making a nuisance of himself or hogging your attention?

If none of the above, isn't he just one of your kids' friends walking along the road chatting to them on the way to school?

It’s the bit where the parents have told him to walk with you that I don’t like. That means that they will hold your responsible if anything happens. Knock on their door and knock it on the head, they need to take him themselves if they’re worried about him walking alone.

This post is an example of why other nationalities question the mental sanity of British (English tbf) people - you are already walking to school with your children, it is zero bother to you, And you try to avoid this child by leaving 5 minutes earlier or later, what is wrong with you?

Why are you so desperate to avoid this poor kid? You haven’t mentioned him misbehaving in any way so what is your actual issue? He’s year 6 as well so will be moving schools next summer…

It’s the Year 6’s parents you should talk to. They have taken a huge liberty by assuming it is ok without asking you.

Op said the mother is sitting at home and sending her kid to walk with op.

I had a lad a bit like this - he didn't always walk with us but I'd just keep an eye on him if I saw him, and sometimes he'd chatter to us if we converged at the same point. I'll always remember once he'd started at the secondary school lhe walked past me in the opposite direction just as my toddler did a monstrous sneeze and he doubled back to give me some tissues from his bag. Now he's at university and my youngest is in year 6, and he coaches my son in a shared sport. It's nice, we have this established and ongoing connection and I feel glad I kept an eye out for him. Community doesn't get built on its own. By all means, tell the mum you won't stop him if he does go on ahead or whatever, but just seeing him across the road is probably alright.

Talk to his mum. I think it's extremely cheeky that she's told her son to walk with you to school without bothering to ask you if that's OK first.

How would this work, the child is walking to school that way anyway! He'd presumably just leave 5 seconds after "returning him"(?!) as anyone is free to walk any route at any time. Another mark of our society becoming insular and individualistic.

If it's such a big issue then just have a quick chat with the parents to explain that you don't want them/the child to think that you are responsible for him crossing roads, taking detours, wandering off with other friends etc. As long as she knows this then I don't see the problem.

That she's totally been made responsible for someone else's kid maybe? And that the parents didn't even have the damn courtesy to ask if op was OK to do this? The parents are just letting him tag along with op, and sounds like the mother has been instructing him to latch on to poor op.

Bet if anything happened to the child who op has not agreed to look after, the mother would be the first to start screaming and making a fuss. Yet as it stands they haven't even spoken.

😂😂😂😂 obviously not 😂 what a take honestly. It’s just a nice time where we talk about the day ahead before I don’t see him all day.

i think you’re quite sad to make an assumption like that to be honest.

I'd be fine with it, but I like to think we live in a 'big village' and I like this kind of community thing.

Very cheeky of the parents though to not talk to you and talk it all through!!! Definitely think they have palmed him off and I completely get his aspect, it's off of them to not introduce themselves.

But this situation itself as it is with him tagging along with you, if he is well behaved, nice to your kids, no harm and in one year he will be at a different school anyway. We used to do lift shares at school with other kids and my kids take the school bus so we're used to going to school with others.

This. Return the child to his parents every time, knock in the door and say we can’t take him to school for you.

But you havent actually been asked to walk him so theres no problem? Child has probably just taken it on themself to tag on to you. If you dont want him to just tell him to go away. From your post it doesnt sound like you'd have any.problem saying that....

What a drama, child walks same route to school as you and joins your group, so what?!? Not even an issue.

This is giving me huge flashbacks to when my mum would groan if we happened to bump into this one family that lived on our route to school 😂The boy was in my class and I didn't mind but she found the dad an awful bore.

I can see how this would be irritating if it's every day, but I also don't see how you can really stop it - it's a public road and you are going to the same destination.

Unless you want to go nuclear and ban him from walking with you (which would to be honest make you look a bit insane and unreasonable) I think this might be one to suck up.

Aww I think it’s sweet. It sounds like he hasn’t got any friends he can walk with. A few of us would call for a friend on the way to school and we would walk together. He won’t need looking after anyway and it’s someone for your older child to talk to.

I wouldn’t like the presumption that the kid would walk us - clearly they are watching for OP leaving and dashing out to join her. This isn’t bumping into people on the way and falling in step to chat.

I also liked the walk to school as a time to chat. They are next to you (like in a car) so all sorts of stuff comes out as it’s non-confrontational and easier to unburden. I also found it a good time to run through number bonds and times tables, spellings, play word games and stuff like that.

We developed a hanger on a one point who would not stop talking and monopolised my attention all the way in and home. I felt sorry for him, but twice a day five days a week was simply too much so we started varying our route, doing jobs on the way in or home, walking with other friends until he barnacled on to someone else. It did feel very intrusive.