AIBU to tell my neighbour’s Year 6 child to stop walking to school with us?

Omg this was me! In year 6 my dad told me to walk home by myself. I was very nervous and walked back with my friend and her childminder! The child minder lived down the road from me! After a few weeks the child minder told me to not walk with them anymore because she gets paid to walk my friend home and not me! I didn’t realise and felt so embarrassed! Never tagged along with anyone else again!

She is not being used as that though. The child is walking to school - she has no responsibility for him. Also, op could look on the positive side - if the children end up at the same secondary school then her son will have a buddy a few years older than him to show him the ropes and hopefully look out for him.

Wouldn't bother me

Speak to the adults, not the child.

This.

Someone else is using her as a free childminding and school drop off service without her permission, that's what.

OP it is quite normal in planning transition to secondary for parents to step back from walking their children to school. To build independence. But to want them to walk to school with friends and neighbours walking the same route at the same time. Not throw them in at the deep end. Asking you to do the school walk for them would defeat the purpose. They want their son to transition from parental school walk to walking with friends without parents making the arrangement. This will benefit your older child whilst allowing you to focus on the younger. Planning for independence of your older child is just as important as taking care of your younger child. I think you are too concerned with care taking and the role of parents wrt younger children.

I think it’s quite intrusive. I like chatting to my children on the way to school. Or using the time eg for times tables

Is it causing you any issues at all?

I really don't think there's much she can do at all with this.

Her wishes may be that she doesn't want him to walk with them but in reality she can't tell him he can't walk on the same pavement at the same time as them.

The issue is that nobody has a clue what that mother actually said to her son. She may have said nothing at all apart from giving him permission to walk to school on his own.

Unless you would stroll straight past a child who was in some difficulty so wouldn’t want to be seen with him and then perhaps stepping over him when he tripped or something, then I guess the problem is you are angry with his mother. Perhaps you think if she is too lazy to walk him to school why should you do it? But that would be exactly the reason you should do it. Not to make her life easier but because he obviously wants to walk with an adult and it costs you nothing.

There was a thread on here yesterday from a woman whose friend’s mother helped her in many ways as a child. It was really touching. The woman was amazing. Generous and incredibly thoughtful. We can’t all be like that but why would you refuse a child who has asked for your help

I had the reverse problem when DS was in year 6. He walked alone as per the school guidance. 5 min walk. He often walked out of school with his friend who walked past our house, plus friend’s mum and little sibling who did need supervising. At our house DS and his friend would say bye and friend would walk on with his mum and sibling.

More than once the mum caught up with me at a club saying “we walk your DC home as the road is so busy” (DS crossed at the school crossing with everyone else). Each time I replied that in year 6 he walks alone, he’s happy to, we want him to, and he enjoys chatting with his mate/your son who takes the same route.

DS knew not to expect anything and was free to walk a different route or go to the sweet shop etc.

Me and the other mum really saw this differently but I never asked or expected her to take charge of him, I think as her kids were younger she was in this mindset without being asked.

I think OP I’m just saying be mindful that the child hasn’t misunderstood something here - the mum may not have directed him into your care.

You obviously can't stop him walking next to you, but either they're lying, and the parent never said this, or the parents are terrible.

You are not responsible for him but you can’t stop him walking at the same time the arrangements are informal .

Why are people confusing the issue? 2 kids who naturally walk the same direction and get along and walk to school together is completely different to a mother telling her son to walk with another family without informing that family.
Surely you have enough brain cells to see the difference?

Yes they do that at my Gcs primary school for all years. They line up in the playground and are released to parents.
In year 5 and 6 they are allowed to walk home alone if the parents have said they can

I think a few posters are being unfair, apparently the boy's mum has explicitly told him that's it's not safe to walk on his own, yet she is neither accompanying him or even speaking to the people he is walking in with everyday. If this was a year 5/6 kid who's parent was happy for him to be unsupervised on the way (or had checked with the OP) then no problem tagging along.

No I wouldn't tell him he can't walk with you.
I don't see the issue in letting him tag along. That doesn't mean you have to be responsible for him , wait for him if he isn't ready or change your plans in any way. but as you are going I don't see the issue in letting him walk with you . It's cheeky of his mother to say he should do it but no one knows what is happening in anyone else's life.

Yep I'd be wary of this too as it's a grey area. You're not friends/acquaintances who have agreed to this - it would be different if you had of course.
It's unfair if she is putting responsibilty on to you without checking. The odds are nothing bad would happen to the boy of course, but, if something does, there's a chance the mum will try to blame you, that's just human nature.
As others have said, if he has an accident or goes off with another friend and doesn't make it into school on time are all things that could happen.
Yesterday my usually sensible ten year old decided to walk home a longer, different way with a friend!
You could always check if he has permission from the school to walk in alone? If so, then he's fine surely, whether or not he's walking with you. That might be an idea if you don't know the woman to even speak to.

Yep! Funny how 'community' and 'a village' always involves one particular woman, doing everything, being a handmaiden, looking after other peoples kids, and having to do the care duties for elderly and disabled family members. Whilst other women are doing fuck-all because they've shoved everything onto an unsuspecting mug, who must #BeKind

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Are you hard of reading and comprehension ?

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She probably wants a lay in.

If you’re going there anyway, and the child is well behaved, I can’t see the issue. We’ve had the neighbours’ children chumming us down to the school gates a few times and I never questioned it. It didn’t have any impact on us whatsoever.