AIBU to think violently rattling an occupied toilet door at work is rude?

I'd certainly ask them WTF they think they're doing and tell them to pack it in!

Just assertively trying to get into an engaged toilet that was in use. Sure bro...

I can't believe that a thread is necessary on the bare fundamentals of decent manners and what you don't do when someone is already in a bog cubicle. But here we are. A detailed division over the simple social contract of basic courtesy.

Cede over women's once-protected spaces and unfortunately this is the likely outcome. No question that women can be equally as rude, but intimidatingly predatory behaviour is overwhelmingly in the male domain.

Maybe the constant whingers that society is going down the shitter actually have a point.

Well again, if you know there's a chance someone is already occupying that cubicle, why approach the situation assertively? Why not have some consideration for the person who may already be in there?

Most standard cubicle doors don't actually close fully on their own, so if you see that a door is fully closed, the likelihood is that somebody is in there. I would always push a closed door very gently and slowly, in case the lock is broken, or there's somebody in there who forgot or struggled to lock it - children are very good at forgetting to lock (or are maybe scared to in case it's stiff and they can't unlock it again).

I appreciate it's different if the single toilet is a self-enclosed room with a proper door in itself; but again, if you try a toilet door and it doesn't open, your parents did a shockingly bad job if you can't work out why that's probably the case.

I think there are a lot of people out there who really cannot think anywhere beyond their own needs and wishes - the so-called 'main character syndrome' - where they cannot fathom that somebody else may be in there and they will have to wait or find another one. Even if they're thinking "But I really need the toilet!"... erm, yes, as does the person who is currently using it!

Rude. I would say something. Did u feel vulnerable in case it was a man?

Fair enough; but you surely go to open the door normally, and if it doesn't open, you know that one is occupied and look for a vacant one or wait?

Toilet door locks aren't designed to be like bank vaults; most people could force them open and gain access to the occupant/facility for whatever reason if they desperately wanted to (indeed, this is a crucial feature in case somebody inside needs emergency assistance); but they work on a socially-understood basis, whereby they give the very clear message to any normal, respectable person who gently tries the door that this cubicle is currently not available.

It’s not always clear whether it is occupied or not.

I think it’s rude wherever it happens. It was done to me in a cafe the other day. Gently trying the handle once is one thing, and leaving it if it doesn’t open.

I had this in A&E with a ruptured ectopic pregnancy, awaiting surgery. I was bleeding heavily and it was taking a while to mop up. A man rattled the door so hard that he caused it to open. Yes, I had shouted I was there. He had tried the door repeatedly every time I went. He also intercepted the nurses everytime they came to speak to me. I was the youngest person in that area of A&E by a good 30 years but once a lady with a very nasty head injury had been taken elsewhere, it was clear that I was the most unwell and I think this man resented a younger person being treated ahead of him.

I would shout"im wiping my fanny, /ass, depart please "

Why is there any need to ‘assertively’ push an occupied cubicle door?

This. Something went right through me at work yesterday and I would not have appreciated someone hurrying me out of the toilet.

Really? Do better.

Nah, if that was a man I bet he really did rattle it. Entitled so-and-so.

I have experienced this many times in a coffee shop that I go regularly. Despite there being an 'engaged' indicator on the lock,I still get people repeatedly trying to get into the toilet whilst I'm in there. Even shouting out that there's someone in here,or rapping on the door doesn't deter them. It's like they are determined to get in! Worse still are the ones who actually see you going into the toilet,then 30 seconds later start trying to get in! How do they think you've got out of the toilet? Travelled round the U-bend?!

They're all closed @BrezhnevsLuxuriantEyebrows, I don't think I'd knock on each one every single time I needed to go for a wee. You have to push down the handle to try, they're all completely self-contained.

But even then, if a door was closed, you would knock, call and/or push the door very slowly. You wouldn't just try to batter it down.

A man at our work recently pointed out that the only indicator on our toilet doors was a red or green window, which was completely useless to him, as he was colour blind. I did wonder if noting which way the line was oriented would help, but had a look and it is random.

How long were you taking? Maybe they just needed the loo!Sometimes I wonder what people are doing in there...

I find shouting, “I’ve got a turtle’s head peeping out” speeds things up.
At school if people were taking too long you’d chuck a cupful of water over the top

I wonder that too, but reasonably often when I’ve wondered that it’s a man who comes out.

But always rude to rattle a toilet door!

What is their plan, though? Are they intending to break in, wrench you off the toilet and throw you outside the door in your own mess, all so that they can then go?

If a toilet is occupied, that means it isn't available for somebody else to use; surely that isn't difficult for these people to comprehend?

If you have any doubts as to whether a cubicle is occupied, or maybe if the door is stiff and has jammed shut or whatever, or the person inside might have had an issue and need assistance, any normal person would knock, call out "Hello???" A few times and/or try the door gently and carefully.

Anybody who seeks to force open a toilet door when they know there is somebody inside (who doesn't need any emergency assistance) is, quite frankly, a pervert and/or a predator, and should face appropriate consequences for this abuaive behaviour unless they have an extremely convincing excuse.

I think some people sit there looking at their phones !

It's extremely bloody rude, and your workplace is BVVU in not providing female toilets - especially if the unisex ones have only cubicles and aren't single stall toilets with proper enclosing walls.