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Original poster

Like him but struggling with this physical feature that apparently all men have of a certain age?

171 replies

Numppp · 23/09/2026 20:45

Met someone lovely. I do fancy him. But, he has a small bum. He very much needs a belt. It’s basically flat. He’s late 40s and lost a lot of weight in last few years (previously overweight now a healthy weight) which I think has emphasised this even more.

Girlfriends are saying this is normal with age (he’s around 8 years older than me) and happens with all men. Does it?! I’ve never noticed it before. I don’t want this to be an issue as I really do like him. We’ve not DTD yet

OP posts:
Itsthewoluff · 24/09/2026 00:23

Why do you think braces were invented?

LBFseBrom · 24/09/2026 00:19

I'd say that is better than having a fat bum.

levitational · 24/09/2026 00:18

JaneJeffer · 23/09/2026 22:32

It didn’t hold Bruce Springsteen back

Nowt wrong with Bruce's arse. It wasn't big but it was definitely pert.

BrezhnevsLuxuriantEyebrows · 24/09/2026 00:13

Buy him a voucher for a Brazilian butt lift for his birthday, if that would make you happier. Or get him some stilettos - they can give the impression of a more pronounced arse.

Shatenoeuf · 24/09/2026 00:06

Glutes are big muscles, its "expensive" for the body to maintain metabolically as you age, so if you dont work them specifically you do lose them, men & women.

SeptUsername · 24/09/2026 00:05

worldshottestmom · 23/09/2026 21:04

I think she should say this to him

All those in favour say 'aye'

Show quote history

Sounds like the right approach. 😂

Boreded · 24/09/2026 00:03

Yes, every single man of a certain age has the exact same butt…wow 🤯

You either like him as he is or you don’t and you move on. As women we are constantly judged and talked about by men, we know how it feels, so then why are you now doing the same thing to him.

BrezhnevsLuxuriantEyebrows · 24/09/2026 00:02

WhoPaintedMyRosesRed · 23/09/2026 21:34

@Numppp the majority of men have small pert bottoms or flat ones. I find it more unusual to see a man with a really fat arse!

It’s not an age thing, it’s just their shape. It can be worked out on though to change it.

Indeed. This is reminding me of the other thread where the OP had an obsession about men not being any use, because they aren't women. It seemed like she'd only just learned that (as a sex) women can get pregnant and give birth, but men never ever can!

Men just don't tend to have much going on in the bottom department - even men who are very overweight on their bellies and elsewhere.

It's not a 'failing'; it's just a very common aspect of maleness. Being shocked to realise that a man has a flat bottom and non-curvy hips, meaning that he has to wear a belt to keep his trousers from falling down, is as bonkers as a man being horrified to discover that his female partner has two rounded swellings on her chest and she actually has to wear a bra to stop them from moving around uncomfortably!!

BrezhnevsLuxuriantEyebrows · 23/09/2026 23:53

worldshottestmom · 23/09/2026 21:02

Get him on the squats and RDLs. Age is not an excuse to be out of shape, anyone in their 40s who started weightlifting would gain muscle in the targeted areas with the appropriate diet.

If it's a deal breaker and he doesn't want to do anything to change it then don't bother. If you think you can move past it with time then give him a chance. Would be a shame to waste a good connection over something that could be so easily fixed.

He's a human being; not an old piece of furniture to upcycle.

OneoftheWeddingPeople · 23/09/2026 23:46

Admit I am disturbed by the several posters who talk in detail about their FILs arses!

wheresthesnowgone · 23/09/2026 23:34

Can you buy him a butt lift for Christmas?

Ladamesansmerci · 23/09/2026 23:34

I'm just sat here perplexed- I had no idea this was something people cared about 😂 I'm a lesbian anyway, but I've genuinely never once in my life thought about someone's butt shape lol.

watchingthishtread · 23/09/2026 23:30

You can't be serious.

FriendlyMedusa · 23/09/2026 23:30

Well, it may be a bit shallow, but I think if you haven't even slept with someone and you're questioning whether you can accept his body, it's a sign you just aren't into him enough.

InterestedDad37 · 23/09/2026 23:08

I've always been fit and healthy, I'm 20 years older than OP's fella, and I have a posterior that would put the back of a bus in shadow.
So no, OP, men's bums don't magically disappear when they hit 40
🤷 😂. Absolutely bizarre notion.

GaIadriel · 23/09/2026 23:05

FFS!

"Defo not flat'! Not bloody deformed. 😆😆😆

GaIadriel · 23/09/2026 23:04

I can deadlift just shy of 190kg and still don't have that round shelved arse a lot of women get lifting half that. It's deformed not flat though.

OohOohOohWahAhh · 23/09/2026 23:02

I’m late 30s fairly slim and have always had a pancake flat arse. Last relationship was with a guy aged 63 and he had a butt that won’t quit 😍 it’s genetics!

Conniebygaslight · 23/09/2026 22:49

My DH is 70 and has a fantastic arse. He’s aged like a fine wine.

Redpaisley · 23/09/2026 22:47

MintSnail · 23/09/2026 21:48

Walk on front of him?

Best solution 😂

MrsJeanLuc · 23/09/2026 22:40

DrumsPleaseFab · 23/09/2026 21:40

I have never noticed this on men, my husband was always self conscious about having a small bum but I never particularly fancied the idea of a man with a huge big bottom so I never got what the issue was 😂

hope you can get over it. ageing definitely changes people’s body shape

i always wonder how come that older men seen to have big bodies with tiny legs and younger men have shorter bodies with longer legs. I do not understand how this can happen and I am fairly intelligent.. but rare to see an older guy with long legs. Some men look like they are 70% upper body once over 50, especially if overweight …

I know exactly what you mean!
My husband is tremendously powerful over the shoulders and arms, but has the hips and legs of a much smaller man!
Definitely a pancake bum😁

SaySomethingMan · 23/09/2026 22:39

Thepossibility · 23/09/2026 22:27

My DH had a really nice bum when we met. We were young and he played a lot of sport. Pretty much gone now, possibly migrated to his belly. Ah well, I'm definitely not the same either.
My FIL is very tall and lean and pretty much just has a crack in his lower back for an arse. I assumed it was normal.

Im sorry that really made me laugh!
“Migrated to his belly” 😁🤣

everynowandthenifallapart · 23/09/2026 22:35

I would pick your battles.

My DP doesn’t have much in the way of glutes in his late 40s as due to injuries from contact sports he’s had both hips replaced.

He does have a magnificent cock, though.

Sleep with him and then decide how you feel about his body 😀

Anyahyacinth · 23/09/2026 22:32

Sounds like you don’t like him enough

JaneJeffer · 23/09/2026 22:32

It didn’t hold Bruce Springsteen back

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