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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

AIBU to want them grown?

54 replies

Manyatimeandoften · 23/09/2026 15:50

Sigh. I know I’ll get a load of misty eyed ‘you’ll miss it one day’ but right now I am in it and I am SO over the screams over nothing, the whingeing, the refusal to eat, the breaking down crying over the wrong water bottle, the stupid giddy overtired behaviour, the poo (I. Am. Sick. Of. Poo.)

I want them to be teenager and order themselves a bloody takeaway and have done with it, sleeping late, staying in their rooms and not bothering me!

OP posts:
fancytoes · 23/09/2026 15:53

It is AWFUL at the time. AWFUL.

I bloody miss it. Stupid me 😂😭

Thewaterboys · 23/09/2026 15:55

This reply has been deleted

This has been deleted by MNHQ for breaking our Talk Guidelines.

Isittimeformynapyet · 23/09/2026 15:56

AIBU to want them grown?

I feel this way about my box hedge cuttings.

Original poster
Manyatimeandoften · 23/09/2026 16:00

This reply has been deleted

This has been deleted by MNHQ for breaking our Talk Guidelines.

You’ve given me hope … kept thinking when the younger one turns 3 … does it get better? (please god say yes!)

OP posts:
HermioneWeasley · 23/09/2026 16:01

There are brilliant things and challenges at every stage. I found the early years super hard. Mine are young adults now and have actual problems I can’t really help with and this is much harder IMO

WallaceinAnderland · 23/09/2026 16:01

OP if you think this is hard you definitely don't want teenagers You want 30 year olds with their own home who can drive themselves where they want to be and buy their own food, cook it and clean up, leaving nothing to fester and grow mould in their bedroom.

Pumpkinsaregrowingnicely · 23/09/2026 16:06

Yabu to think teens are easier..

MabelMarple · 23/09/2026 16:08

Age 4 was the hardest for me (0 to 1 ) a close second.
It got easier at 5 and even easier afterwards. 7 to 11 was a dream. Teenagers were lovely, it's not true that all teenagers are awful, give me a 13/15 year old any day rather than a 4 year old.

Rituelec · 23/09/2026 16:08

fancytoes · 23/09/2026 15:53

It is AWFUL at the time. AWFUL.

I bloody miss it. Stupid me 😂😭

Agree!

Justploddingonandon · 23/09/2026 16:11

I found it got better once they were both in school, and actually quite enjoying my teen at the moment (currently 14 so the worst may be yet to come). Like all kids he has his moments, but is generally a polite, pleasant boy, can be left alone and can mostly get himself where he wants to be.

Original poster
Manyatimeandoften · 23/09/2026 16:12

I’ve generally found them easier the older they get. I think I’m just really tired of tantrums and I know they still have them but the way anything can kick off any minute makes me so tense.

OP posts:
Hollowvoice · 23/09/2026 16:14

The key thing is to remember that everything is a phase. Teething is a phase, weaning is a phase, potty training is a phase.
This too shall pass (which is what I'm relying on with 2 teenagers!)

quackquack1514 · 23/09/2026 16:16

It gets easier! Assuming you guide them to behave properly. It's literally a work in progress. You'll see

BruFord · 23/09/2026 16:20

Five was the magic age for me, everything got so much easier then.

The great thing about these phases is that in terms of a lifespan, they're so short. You have children for less than 20 years and then you have adult children for decades.

Hang in there and look forward to the decades of adult children ahead!

AnonyMumAuDHD · 23/09/2026 16:30

Not at all… however, bigger children can come with bigger problems and bigger stresses so be careful what you wish for. There have been times, when mine were teens, that I longed for the early years. They were blissful in comparison to what comes later. And then, before you know it, you are dropping them at uni/first digs and you wander around the tidy, clean and utterly empty spaces they’ve left behind and start counting the days until they come back and drive you around the wall again.

It’s a bit like the relief that it’s the summer holiday and you have a break from school runs and the like, only to start counting the days until the September term starts after a few weeks.

DuckbilledSplatterPuff · 23/09/2026 16:30

Even with the poo they are cute at this age.

Sorry to dissolution you @Manyatimeandoften but Every time you think you've cracked one issue..potty training for example - a different problem crops up (more often than not school/homework/friendship group related) . They don't want to go to bed, and they don't want to get up.

Yes teens will order takeaway so there is that.. they will also leave the empty packaging all over the house... under the bed with all the unwashed cups, shoes as trip hazards in every door way.. and you will spend all your time giving them lifts here there and everywhere and being asked for money for "essentials".

They are also quite nice (sometimes) and yes. you will miss em when they are off. You will be tearful on their last day of Primary school, more so on their last day at Secondary school, and in floods when you drop them off to uni, wondering how time flew by so fast (it's because you never stopped running around after the little blighters)

Enjoy x

Sleepthief · 23/09/2026 16:32

LOL at the idea that teenagers don’t have tantrums!

EmailsaysOOO · 23/09/2026 16:33

Yeah you won't enjoy the teen years. that's when everything kicks off.

SUPerSaver721 · 23/09/2026 16:34

Im counting down to both mine being over 18 and I can just put myself first and not have to be running around after them. Ive found it so hard.

DuckbilledSplatterPuff · 23/09/2026 16:36

I meant disillusion you OP... not dissolution you. 😂

HPFA · 23/09/2026 16:37

HermioneWeasley · 23/09/2026 16:01

There are brilliant things and challenges at every stage. I found the early years super hard. Mine are young adults now and have actual problems I can’t really help with and this is much harder IMO

This 1000%.

Have a grown up DD with inflammatory arthritis and the stress is insane.

HermioneWeasley · 23/09/2026 16:38

Manyatimeandoften · 23/09/2026 16:12

I’ve generally found them easier the older they get. I think I’m just really tired of tantrums and I know they still have them but the way anything can kick off any minute makes me so tense.

Ha! You definitely don’t want teenagers in that case

spinnerzs · 23/09/2026 16:39

You don’t want teenagers & the stress of school/exams.

Let them grow to 7 & stop growing at 11

Muffsies · 23/09/2026 16:42

Yup toddlers are not worth it for the very few times they're cute or amusing. Teenagers on the other hand are great, so clever, funny, tallented and mostly independent, i can forgive all their smells and dramas.

JasmineMac · 23/09/2026 16:51

Pre school is tough, I sooooo envied parents of teenagers 🙈 And I only had one child!

She's 16 now, and the teen years are a breeze compared to pre school. The years fly past once they start school, I promise lol, so hang in there! ❤️