AIBU to want them grown?

OP I feel exactly the same as you tonight I have a 2 year old and a 6 year old. I am so bloody stressed out and exhausted! I too am looking forward to these years being behind me.

YAnbu but at least you are in charge. Believe me the worry you carry gets worse. Crippling sometimes as there is more to worry about!

Can recommend the late teen years. Sipping cocktails with the two of them in a pool with a view in Ibiza. They are great company and great fun. All worth it in the end.

Mmhh… does it get better? It gets more complicated and you have way less control. Does any of that sound better?

I know this is so easy for me to say as mine are adults, but stop reacting to the tantrums and whinging. Literally give zero reaction and then calmly reinstate your initial question/order/direction. They are doing that because they have learned it gets them a reaction, good or bad. It will be a loud annoying few days but it will work. You retrain them that you will not respond to any of their histrionics. Because that stage and that behavior is INTOLERABLE and we can all relate.

The Poo Years are not easy OP. Respect 😄

I much preferred mine when they were teenagers. I found the early years hard going.

you haven’t denied that you post regularly about it though, maybe seek some help from your GP about the way you are feeling as your kids will be picking up on your feelings towards them and maybe that is why you find them so difficult

I love having teenagers. Mine are stroppy, messy, sulky and grumpy. But they also have excellent taste in music, pick me up from the pub (eldest is driving), are genuinely funny and I'm loving the adults they are growing into.

except for when they use the washing machine for one item of clothing. Then we might fall out

I used to hate anyone who said they missed that age when I was in the trenches. It's was horrific with no sleep, tantrums galore. But I do miss it now, the nights are long but the days and years are so short. There little voices, endless hugs and thinking you're their entire world.

All ages have their ups and downs but when they start sleeping properly and can get dressed themselves, so about 5 for me, it started getting easier.

It’s physically exhausting when they’re little, but once they hit teens it’s mentally exhausting - their problems are so much bigger than that you switched the tap on the bath when they wanted to. There is so much you can’t help with. And if there’s any kind of additional need or mental health problem… 🤯 At least when they’re tiny, as others have said, you know where they are and who they’re talking to (and hopefully they go to bed before you do); that all goes out the window as teens and young adults!

Having children is amazing and a great privilege, but you are committing yourself to a lifetime of exhaustion, worry and heartbreak.

I much prefer the relationship I have with my teen and adult children. I don't miss 3 - 14 at all!

Dont think so, im sure this is the same posters who posts regularly about how much she hates her kids and wants them to grow up. It’s the kids I feel sorry for.

Because she doesn’t “hate it” the poor woman is just having a really bad day.

If you need that explained you need to work on your empathy.

Why have more than one if you hate it so much?

You are just in the trenches just now. They will be adorable again tomorrow or next week.

But if it helps, I have found each year easier ans we have gone on and my teenagers are lovely.

💐

Yanbu. Mine is 13 next week, life is so much easier and quite frankly better now. I actually don't miss it one bit. I think I'll miss this bit though when he's flown the nest, he's lovely company

Absolutely this.

7 is the sweet spot.

Everything else. Awful.

I adore my kids but holy shit the whole thing is traumatic.

Fair enough op.
Mine are grown and flown the nest. I spent my day off sorting laundry, copious mugs of tea, walked to local park, had soup and sourdough, enjoyed my long walk in the sun, then drove to waitrose for a leisurely shop. Got a takeaway coffee. Now home and lying on couch contemplating dinner with a glass of wine.

Its bloody great. Of course I miss mine terribly but im getting used to the easy life...

Mine are young adults now and have actual problems I can’t really help with and this is much harder IMO

I relate to this statement so much.

The early days were exhausting and I was in survival mode, battling exhaustion and full-time work. But the mental stress I feel now is on a different level.

Teenagers all the way. I actually think I've blanked out lots of the early days because it was so bloody hard. I love that you can have conversations with teenagers. That their problems are more interesting. That they can help around the house. That you can leave them. That's we all have our own space.