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Christmas leave priority

1000 replies

putmeonthebackburner · 23/09/2026 14:23

We have had an email today stating that Christmas leave will be prioritised in the following way:

  1. people with children under 7
  2. people with grandchildren under 7
  3. people with children over 7
  4. people with grandchildren over 7
  5. everyone else

AIBU to think this is utterly ridiculous? I am my parents’ child, I would like to see them over Christmas. We only get the bank holiday days off and work on Christmas Eve so if I don’t get leave I won’t see family until the 26th.

It should be first come first served

OP posts:
WhatATimeToBeAlive · 24/09/2026 09:43

Itchthescratch · 23/09/2026 17:16

I'm not saying they are but realistically adult Christmases are a lot more flexible. We don't as adults have wait for Father Christmas to visit and then rush down Christmas morning to open gifts. Adults understand it is about all being together and celebrating. Most of us don't see everyone all in one day anyway so it's a more elongated event anyway.

What if someone has a terminally ill or very old parent and this might be their last Christmas with them? Does that not count?

Hummingbird233 · 24/09/2026 09:43

x2boys · 24/09/2026 09:30

Xmas is for everyone
You cant dictate that adults without children cant enjoy xmas

That’s not what I said?

x2boys · 24/09/2026 09:43

Itchthescratch · 24/09/2026 09:37

This is such an extreme scenario. In all the teams I have worked in, I have never known one where there was a succession of people having children with the exact right frequency to block others from taking Christmas leave. Right now I am the only person in my team with youngish children and my kids would age out of the rule in a year if it was limited to ten year olds. Only a fifth of workers on average have children under 10. They are very much a minority.

Just becsuse you have never experinced it doesnt mean.it doesnt happen
Most of the nurses i worked with had young children or grandchildren
Then they might have another
Or they might leave but anoher nurse joins who then gets pregnsnt the nurse who is never going to have children never gets priority
Its not as extreme as you might think

BishBashBoshDumpling · 24/09/2026 09:45

I had no idea that so many parents think the childfree/less are not equal people.

I have always known there were a few nutters about but they seem to all congregate here.

Thankfully no employer I have ever worked for has gone in for such nonsense.

ExpectMore · 24/09/2026 09:46

RowsOfFlowers · 24/09/2026 09:28

Exactly! I am currently pregnant, but I’d never expect others (especially those who are childfree) to put out or look after my kids unwillingly! It’s so entitled and gross. I do think we ought to help each other out in society, but that’s not the right way around it!

Hope you’re not expecting to claim anything like child benefit if you’re so against others in society, particularly those who are childfree, being put out by your having kids.

Itchthescratch · 24/09/2026 09:47

x2boys · 24/09/2026 09:43

Just becsuse you have never experinced it doesnt mean.it doesnt happen
Most of the nurses i worked with had young children or grandchildren
Then they might have another
Or they might leave but anoher nurse joins who then gets pregnsnt the nurse who is never going to have children never gets priority
Its not as extreme as you might think

Nobody is arguing that grandparents should get priority so that's irrelevant. Surveys consistently show that around half of nurses have dependent children living with them. As dependent child is anyone under 18 then it's fair to assume roughly half of these children will be 9 or under. This would suggest around 25% of nurses have young kids.

BishBashBoshDumpling · 24/09/2026 09:47

x2boys · 24/09/2026 09:43

Just becsuse you have never experinced it doesnt mean.it doesnt happen
Most of the nurses i worked with had young children or grandchildren
Then they might have another
Or they might leave but anoher nurse joins who then gets pregnsnt the nurse who is never going to have children never gets priority
Its not as extreme as you might think

They know. They can see how it is possible. Anyone able to follow logic can.

It's inconvenient, though.

To say, "yeah that could happen but I still dont care" makes them look terrible.

Far easier to say "no! Would never happen"

takealettermsjones · 24/09/2026 09:48

BishBashBoshDumpling · 24/09/2026 09:45

I had no idea that so many parents think the childfree/less are not equal people.

I have always known there were a few nutters about but they seem to all congregate here.

Thankfully no employer I have ever worked for has gone in for such nonsense.

Where has anyone said that they believe child free people are not equal people?

They have different needs.

BishBashBoshDumpling · 24/09/2026 09:49

takealettermsjones · 24/09/2026 09:48

Where has anyone said that they believe child free people are not equal people?

They have different needs.

Different BUT EQUAL needs.

So we agree?

Itchthescratch · 24/09/2026 09:49

BishBashBoshDumpling · 24/09/2026 09:45

I had no idea that so many parents think the childfree/less are not equal people.

I have always known there were a few nutters about but they seem to all congregate here.

Thankfully no employer I have ever worked for has gone in for such nonsense.

Child free people are equal to all other adults. It's not about them but about the children. I have referenced upthread that I help care for a disabled relative and I am eligible for extra leave to do this. I am not getting this leave because I'm better than other adults but because I have a need associated with a dependent that other adults don't have. If my disabled relative doesn't need my care anymore then I wouldn't be eligible for the leave anymore. It's not about me but about them.

takealettermsjones · 24/09/2026 09:50

BishBashBoshDumpling · 24/09/2026 09:49

Different BUT EQUAL needs.

So we agree?

No, we definitely don't agree 🤣

Their needs are not equal, no.

ExpectMore · 24/09/2026 09:52

Trickedbyadoughnut · 24/09/2026 09:38

I think some of the parents commenting on here are going to be changing their tune when their adult children can't get time off to see them on important occasions because colleagues with children are prioritized.

I haven't seen my widowed mother for three Christmas in a row because I've been refused leave - including even the weeks around Christmas. She's a Christian and her own mother died on Christmas day, so to say it's a very important day for her is not an exaggeration.

She'll be turning 80 in July next year - school holidays. I've already been told I probably won't get it off because "colleagues with children" ...

Why can’t you discuss having her birthday off with your colleagues and management? Presumably this long in advance gives them ample time to arrange cover for one day? Or for work to be planned around it such that you can take leave alongside your colleagues without there being an issue. It seems unreasonable that they aren’t.

Again a good example of where we just need to work together and do what’s right. People IRL would surely come to the same conclusion that you should have that day off. The problem comes when people aren’t willing to be reasonable

Itchthescratch · 24/09/2026 09:53

BishBashBoshDumpling · 24/09/2026 09:47

They know. They can see how it is possible. Anyone able to follow logic can.

It's inconvenient, though.

To say, "yeah that could happen but I still dont care" makes them look terrible.

Far easier to say "no! Would never happen"

I can see how it's possible but statistical likelihood is relevant. It is very unlikely that a child free person will never receive priority in such a setup but some including this poster are presenting it as an inevitability.

ExpectMore · 24/09/2026 09:53

WhatATimeToBeAlive · 24/09/2026 09:43

What if someone has a terminally ill or very old parent and this might be their last Christmas with them? Does that not count?

Your point has been addressed previously. Please keep up

SJM1988 · 24/09/2026 09:55

Honesty OP I think you and your work are both unreasonable. First come first serve never works as you end up with people putting in all their requests on 2nd Jan when they are back in work. Rotational is the only fair way but then its hard with people leaving and starting through the year.
Alternatively, names in a hat and pulling out in order of getting to decide what holiday you want first (joking!)

I have young children (one in each of those categories) and I still work Christmas and New Year, usually both. This year I have rare time off between Christmas and New Year. My family live 3 hours away and if it is our year to visit them we just travel after 5pm on Christmas eve. Its my choice to live so far away and my choice to visit them. One year we travelled up to Scotland 7 hours away on Christmas Eve! If you really want to see family you make it work with what you have.

Just as a parents can't pull the I have young kids card, I don't think your justification of I live 5 hours away trumps that. Neither has more priority.

RowsOfFlowers · 24/09/2026 09:55

ExpectMore · 24/09/2026 09:46

Hope you’re not expecting to claim anything like child benefit if you’re so against others in society, particularly those who are childfree, being put out by your having kids.

Absolutely not! And child benefit is completely different to expecting your colleagues to always cover for you 🧐🧐

BishBashBoshDumpling · 24/09/2026 09:55

takealettermsjones · 24/09/2026 09:50

No, we definitely don't agree 🤣

Their needs are not equal, no.

There we have it.

Childfree people's needs are less valid.

You sound gross

Differentforgirls · 24/09/2026 09:55

ExpectMore · 24/09/2026 09:46

Hope you’re not expecting to claim anything like child benefit if you’re so against others in society, particularly those who are childfree, being put out by your having kids.

Those Christian values again...

ExpectMore · 24/09/2026 09:56

BishBashBoshDumpling · 24/09/2026 09:45

I had no idea that so many parents think the childfree/less are not equal people.

I have always known there were a few nutters about but they seem to all congregate here.

Thankfully no employer I have ever worked for has gone in for such nonsense.

It’s not about being equal people*, it’s about having equal need in a specific situation.

*newsflash: people aren’t equal. Take a quick look out your window and you’ll see that… some pay more taxes than others, some have less health problems than others, some have family support some don’t, some have had disadvantaged childhoods some haven’t…. Some are lazy and entitled whilst others are driven and given, some will have a run of luck others will be less fortunate. It’s the way of the world

BunnyLake · 24/09/2026 09:57

AmazonAntiqueStore · 23/09/2026 19:26

What I really don’t understand is why grandparents are in any kind of priority group.

Can at least see there’s some logic to prioritising parents, whether you agree or disagree with it, but grandparents? That just smacks of whoever does the scheduling having just become a first-time grandparent.

It doesn’t even seem to consider that you might not live anywhere near your gc, and aren’t even going to see them over Christmas, just them existing seems to be the criteria. Unless you have to sign a declaration saying you’re spending Christmas with them 🤔 But yes, first time gp concocting this seems to be a reasonable assumption.

Colourfulfairylights · 24/09/2026 09:59

takealettermsjones · 24/09/2026 09:31

I am not an HR professional but I would be v interested to see this tested, albeit I do think you're right that most employers would shy away from ET and settle instead.

Surely the legal defence would be objective justification under s19, as long as the company could establish a genuine need and therefore that the policy is reasonably necessary, and also assuming they could evidence reasonable application of the policy e.g. apply equally to both sexes and to people with caring responsibilities, consider exceptional needs as well, maybe provide an alternative benefit to those who miss out ... and of course evidence everything!

Alternatively, there's no reason why parliament couldn't amend the act to legislate for this.

I agree it would be interesting to see it tested.

I posted earlier about objective justification https://www.acas.org.uk/employer-decision-protected-characteristic/objective-justification

Again, willing to be corrected but objective justification examples are in the above link and are along the lines of "discrimination was necessary to avoid a H&S issue".

I really can't see how allowing parents Christmas with their children is an objective justification to potentially discriminate against others. It doesn't actually matter to the business where their employees spend Christmas, it's nothing to do with the business so it would be difficult for them to rely on that needing to happen.

If the business had retention issues and it would close without trying to appease parents and grandparents possibly is the only thing I can think of, but even then it would have to show that retention issues was only amongst parents /grand parents.

I'm not saying a claim would definitely be successful but I do know, it would be a risky policy because of all the potential claims and complaints it could bring.

Objective justification - Using protected characteristics to make decisions - Acas

When an employer can justify a business decision that affects people with a particular protected characteristic.

https://www.acas.org.uk/employer-decision-protected-characteristic/objective-justification

BishBashBoshDumpling · 24/09/2026 09:59

Itchthescratch · 24/09/2026 09:49

Child free people are equal to all other adults. It's not about them but about the children. I have referenced upthread that I help care for a disabled relative and I am eligible for extra leave to do this. I am not getting this leave because I'm better than other adults but because I have a need associated with a dependent that other adults don't have. If my disabled relative doesn't need my care anymore then I wouldn't be eligible for the leave anymore. It's not about me but about them.

Pardon me but you get annual leave whether you are a parent or not....

Your carers leave example is not relevant.

Unless you are proposing a change in the law where employees are given two different kind of annual leave? One kind which can be taken in school holidays (ALP) and another kind that cannot be taken in school holidays (ALNP)

Childfree/less people are only given the ALNP kind.....

Wait I'm giving the nutters ideas 🤣

In any case this is not how it is and annual leave is annual leave. Carers leave is carers leave.

takealettermsjones · 24/09/2026 09:59

BishBashBoshDumpling · 24/09/2026 09:55

There we have it.

Childfree people's needs are less valid.

You sound gross

Again, I didn't say that. I said they are different.

You can think whatever you like about me, but I don't need to insult people to discuss an issue or make a point.

Allergictoironing · 24/09/2026 09:59

ExpectMore · 24/09/2026 09:06

Never get to attend it? Of course not. But I don’t see a system where that would work it self out. Priority doesn’t extrapolate to never….

Priority doesn’t extrapolate to never…

Except it does in many places. As per a previous post I made, it was TEN years of me having to work the Christmas period and I only managed to get the 11th year off by threatening the management with HR and the Union. There are a very many people on this thread who are telling you that priority does mean never in some work places.

Parents wanting the whole of Christmas off also doesn't seem to end at 7, for many they want it off every year the children still live at home or at least until well into their teens. A prime example of this is when it's the boss themselves with a child or children.

A quote above is that only 1 in 5 working parents have children under 10. But how many have 2 or 3 staggered so they get 12 or 14 or even more years of having an under 10 e.g. my DSis had 4, first 3 spaced 2 years apart then an almost 10 year gap so 16 years of having under 10s.

The "need" to spend the "magical" season also isn't just Christmas Day either, they "need" to have the entire time off from Christmas Eve until the day after New Year inclusive. 2 parent families, but both "need" the entire season off.

BishBashBoshDumpling · 24/09/2026 10:00

takealettermsjones · 24/09/2026 09:59

Again, I didn't say that. I said they are different.

You can think whatever you like about me, but I don't need to insult people to discuss an issue or make a point.

So if they are just as valid why are they not "allowed" the same chance at annual leave dates?

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