Page 24 | Christmas leave priority

putmeonthebackburner · 2026-09-23T13:23:51+00:00

We have had an email today stating that Christmas leave will be prioritised in the following way: 1. people with children under 7 1. people with grandchildren under 7 1. people with children over 7 1. people with grandchildren over 7 1. everyone else AIBU to think this is utterly ridiculous? I am my parents’ child, I would like to see them over Christmas. We only get the bank holiday days off and work on Christmas Eve so if I don’t get leave I won’t see family until the 26th. It should be first come first served

takealettermsjones · 23/09/2026 18:00

putmeonthebackburner · 23/09/2026 17:55

It seems you don’t like being a parent that much?

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Where are you getting that from? 🤣

I love it. That doesn't mean I get "substantial advantages" in life for being a parent. As a PP said, it's a difficult, thankless task that everyone else in society will actually benefit from. (I presume you'll all want society to keep functioning after you're retired? The next generation will be taking care of that.)

MrsElijahMikaelson1 · 23/09/2026 17:59

putmeonthebackburner · 23/09/2026 17:53

Exactly.

I had so much leave turned down this summer because “we need bodies on the ground”, and guess who was off? Yup, you guessed it, parents. I missed out on long weekends with friends and family, a trip abroad and just days off to myself because of parents. The same happens around any major school break - Easter and all the holidays are no go zones because of the parents being prioritised. I understand that they are legally allowed to turn down leave. But that doesn’t make it right to do it in this manner.

If I was to get something back, I.e. “work Christmas and you can get first dibs at a weekend in the summer” then I’d probably be more willing to do it. But I’m continually expected to just accept that my plans and life doesn’t matter as much because I’ve not had a child yet. I don’t think that’s fair, or right.

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It’s not right. There should be a rota.

Original poster

putmeonthebackburner · 23/09/2026 17:59

Itchthescratch · 23/09/2026 17:58

Exactly.

We know that the average cost of raising a child £250k so Child Benefit etc is a drop in the ocean.

Basic healthcare, education etc is something all of us have benefited from as children. It has no direct benefit for the parent, only the child.

Yet the child free will benefit a lot from other people's investment in their children.

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Child free people, by definition, do not have children to be invested in.

I apparently owe an obligation to everyone, but no one owes one to me? I must work to provide pensions, I must sacrifice my own desires for children, etc etc.

Just say you think the child free people in society are worth less and move on.

OP posts:

Itchthescratch · 23/09/2026 17:58

takealettermsjones · 23/09/2026 17:55

How are any of those advantages for me?!

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Exactly.

We know that the average cost of raising a child £250k so Child Benefit etc is a drop in the ocean.

Basic healthcare, education etc is something all of us have benefited from as children. It has no direct benefit for the parent, only the child.

Yet the child free will benefit a lot from other people's investment in their children.

ExpressCheckout · 23/09/2026 17:57

takealettermsjones · 23/09/2026 17:55

How are any of those advantages for me?!

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Well, anyone with at least one child will benefit from at least one of these. These are advantages because they save you money, time and confer you with a status that other people don't have.

Arltan · 23/09/2026 17:56

I've worked in public sector, private sector and charity sector, and never come across a system like this one for leave. It's your department/team leader that's the problem here. I'd be looking to change teams.

AndSoFinally · 23/09/2026 17:56

I think small children should be least priority in some ways. Just do Christmas Day on any random day you are off, it’s not like they have any idea what day it is!

teaandtoastwithmarmite · 23/09/2026 17:56

We work the days around and do one each. I have a 13 year old and family in another city. My colleague lives with her immediates and doesn’t celebrate it but fairs fair

Original poster

putmeonthebackburner · 23/09/2026 17:55

takealettermsjones · 23/09/2026 17:55

How are any of those advantages for me?!

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It seems you don’t like being a parent that much?

OP posts:

SandyHappyPerson · 23/09/2026 17:55

putmeonthebackburner · 23/09/2026 17:46

Massive flexibility at work - you can dip off whenever you want because the kids need picking up, or they’re sick, priority over leave in the school holidays and at Christmas, time off whenever you fancy.

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If your workplace is like then then there is obviously a bigger issue around unfair treatment then just this xmas leave policy.

Meanwhile, unless you have a very flexible employer, what you are describing above is absolutely not the reality for millions of working parents, nor should it be.

takealettermsjones · 23/09/2026 17:55

ExpressCheckout · 23/09/2026 17:53

Free NHS care for mother and child
National Insurance credits from claiming Child Benefit
Child Benefit weekly payments per child
Statutory Maternity Leave with pay
Statutory Paternity Leave with pay
Free early years provision from age 3
Free state education from age 5
Free childcare hours for eligible 3 to 4 year olds
Tax Free Childcare government top up on childcare savings
Protection from unfair dismissal linked to pregnancy or maternity
Right to request flexible working
Shared Parental Leave splitting leave between parents
Discounts on transport and entry fees for families
Legal parental rights and child maintenance protections

I've probably missed a few

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How are any of those advantages for me?!

Original poster

putmeonthebackburner · 23/09/2026 17:54

ExpectMore · 23/09/2026 17:52

No one is forcing you to be up at 6am. It’s just an option you have should you want to see your family and get there at a reasonable time. 6am isn’t even that early!

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It is on one of my few days off work! Again though, why should I continually put myself out to cater to people who are never willing to cater to others?

OP posts:

WhatTheCatHeard · 23/09/2026 17:53

Wtf are grandparents doing on their !

Original poster

putmeonthebackburner · 23/09/2026 17:53

theneighbourgotmycake · 23/09/2026 17:50

the fuss is about being treated equally and fairly. It's important for everyone, but not essential to ONE. No one take priority

"If it's just about being at work for a few hours on Christmas day then why the fuss at all?" you are the one making the fuss saying some people MUST have it over others. The OP is not saying that, the OP is saying everyone should be treated the same.

If people don't want to celebrate, they're free to volunteer to work that day of course.

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Exactly.

I had so much leave turned down this summer because “we need bodies on the ground”, and guess who was off? Yup, you guessed it, parents. I missed out on long weekends with friends and family, a trip abroad and just days off to myself because of parents. The same happens around any major school break - Easter and all the holidays are no go zones because of the parents being prioritised. I understand that they are legally allowed to turn down leave. But that doesn’t make it right to do it in this manner.

If I was to get something back, I.e. “work Christmas and you can get first dibs at a weekend in the summer” then I’d probably be more willing to do it. But I’m continually expected to just accept that my plans and life doesn’t matter as much because I’ve not had a child yet. I don’t think that’s fair, or right.

OP posts:

Blanknotebook · 23/09/2026 17:53

This is very unfair. If someone is struggling with fertility problems and is currently childless then they will not be allowed to celebrate Christmas with their family! It should be done on rotation.

ExpressCheckout · 23/09/2026 17:53

takealettermsjones · 23/09/2026 17:45

What advantages do I have for having children?

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Free NHS care for mother and child
National Insurance credits from claiming Child Benefit
Child Benefit weekly payments per child
Statutory Maternity Leave with pay
Statutory Paternity Leave with pay
Free early years provision from age 3
Free state education from age 5
Free childcare hours for eligible 3 to 4 year olds
Tax Free Childcare government top up on childcare savings
Protection from unfair dismissal linked to pregnancy or maternity
Right to request flexible working
Shared Parental Leave splitting leave between parents
Discounts on transport and entry fees for families
Legal parental rights and child maintenance protections

I've probably missed a few

HonorBound · 23/09/2026 17:52

The fact your company put this in writing in an email is great

make sure you reply

it could be considered indirect age discrimination, indirect sex discrimination, indirect sexual orientation discrimination and breach of trust and confidence

to avoid discrimination claims many HR keep holiday neutral

takealettermsjones · 23/09/2026 17:52

putmeonthebackburner · 23/09/2026 17:46

Massive flexibility at work - you can dip off whenever you want because the kids need picking up, or they’re sick, priority over leave in the school holidays and at Christmas, time off whenever you fancy.

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🤣🤣🤣 yes, we're all very grateful for that privilege when we're logging back on at 10pm to catch up.

ExpectMore · 23/09/2026 17:52

putmeonthebackburner · 23/09/2026 17:13

How have I been rude?

Yes, I did make that choice. But show me a single person who wants to be up at 6am and sat in a car on Christmas Day! My point is I shouldn’t be forced into that just because I’ve chosen not to have children yet. If I have to, I have to. But it shouldn’t be my status as a child free woman that determines that. That’s my point.

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No one is forcing you to be up at 6am. It’s just an option you have should you want to see your family and get there at a reasonable time. 6am isn’t even that early!

Nursemumma92 · 23/09/2026 17:51

putmeonthebackburner · 23/09/2026 17:46

Massive flexibility at work - you can dip off whenever you want because the kids need picking up, or they’re sick, priority over leave in the school holidays and at Christmas, time off whenever you fancy.

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OK I was in your corner until you said this. Massive flexibility at work? Time off whenever you fancy? Yeah ok. Maybe that's how you view things but speak to many parents (mainly mothers) about how their work situation is and how their careers have been affected by having children and you'll get a different perspective.

takealettermsjones · 23/09/2026 17:51

theneighbourgotmycake · 23/09/2026 17:47

I don't know the answer, but my year off on maternity leave per child was pretty great.

Not saying it's not needed, but a full year is quite a bonus let's be honest. We can at least acknowledge it's a massive advantage.

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Oh yeah, that year when I was lying on a beach eating bonbons? 🤣

That's to raise the helpless, dependent baby. Not a privilege for me. Anything else?

Original poster

putmeonthebackburner · 23/09/2026 17:50

BarGanza · 23/09/2026 17:49

Lol. Why would someone start a post on Mumsnet to stir up hatred for parents? Some of you parents here have just lost the plot. I am a parent. I don’t hate people for being parents! I do cringe at the overly entitled ones on this thread though.

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It’s so funny.

Why would I come to a parenting site to do that? If I wanted to do that I’d go onto a child free board on Reddit

OP posts:

theneighbourgotmycake · 23/09/2026 17:50

Itchthescratch · 23/09/2026 17:47

If it's just about being at work for a few hours on Christmas day then why the fuss at all? If it doesn't matter than why is OP in uproar? It can't be unimportant for children/parents but massively important to child free adults like OP.

Why can't OP just plan a bit differently?

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the fuss is about being treated equally and fairly. It's important for everyone, but not essential to ONE. No one take priority

"If it's just about being at work for a few hours on Christmas day then why the fuss at all?" you are the one making the fuss saying some people MUST have it over others. The OP is not saying that, the OP is saying everyone should be treated the same.

If people don't want to celebrate, they're free to volunteer to work that day of course.

Maomee · 23/09/2026 17:49

So a grandparent of a 6 year old gets priory over a parent of a 7 year old. Bit shite

BarGanza · 23/09/2026 17:49

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Message deleted by MNHQ. Here's a link to our Talk Guidelines.

Lol. Why would someone start a post on Mumsnet to stir up hatred for parents? Some of you parents here have just lost the plot. I am a parent. I don’t hate people for being parents! I do cringe at the overly entitled ones on this thread though.