To be mortified and so upset about how this date ended?

If he'd said I'd been leading him on, he would have got a punch in the face.

You’d have done no such thing stop showing off.

Is it? Im not sure how else your message could be interpreted.

Edited to add,,, Cross posted,

I understand that you are feel bad and a bit humiliated and wish you hadn't pressurised him.
But He seemed very well able to stand up for himself and made it clear he didn't feel he owed you an apology for giving what sounds like mixed signals... ie you didn't pressurise him enough to change his mind.

I guarantee, he's not at work today thinking "Outrageous behaviour. How dare she! She should apologise immediately."

you were hurt.. that was the truth.
unless you swore or shouted at him or said it in an offensive way. Then all you did was communicate it.

Just seen you've sent an apology. Good luck, I hope he sends a nice reply. I still think planning some fun things to do with friends to take your mind off this. Also.. I used to remind myself in a weeks time... I won't be half as worried about this, in a month I may well have forgotten. All the best x

No he didn't "lead you on".🤮

He was open to kissing and touching, but nothing more with you. He said no to sex. That's his right.

He's not responsible for your feelings.

I know and I dont mean my posts to look like im having a pop at you, they arent aimed at you and i don't want to make you feel worse, you clearly have realised you didnt handle it great.

”DD, you’re not allowed to change your mind lest it be too confusing for the other person”.

There’s nothing wrong with losing interest in someone, for whatever reason, and not wanting to pursue it further. You can like someone but then just be totally put off when it starts to get sexual. I remember a couple of times that bad kissing killed any attraction I had for someone stone dead.

Uhm nope nope, that’s quite a leap you’re making there. My God.

You missed out the bit where the DD said no to sex and that she wasnt looking for anything romantic, but then had a demand for an explanation.

I suspect what happened op is he declined your sex request and in a polite way. You say he commented he was too tired had to sleep before work and would like to see you again, but you got hurt and read this as him not fancying you,

he then wandered off to get a taxi, and you called him out, saying it wasn’t ok. At which point he said he didn’t wish anything romantic. You then demanded an apology and decided he’d led you on.

it reads to me like he gave a very reasonable explanation for not wishing to go back and have sex with you, in fact the right decision, but you got hurt and had a go at him, which resulted in him all but telling you to fuck off.

i think what’s caused this issue is when he said he was too tired, had work and would like to see you again, you reacted very badly , didn’t take the rejection at all, never mind well, and had a go at him, for wandering off to find a taxi, and he responded in kind,

So because he doesn't want to sleep with someone you assume it's because he's a virgin. My god.

"Anyway maybe he couldn't have sex because he was having a flare up 😆"

This is a really horrible and extremely unfair comment.

And imagine your DD befriending, dating, hand holding, snogging and arse grabbing someone and then telling them she wasn't up for anything 'romantic'. It'd be quite the headfuck for that person. It's not about declining sex, it's about doing a 180° turn on where the connection was going.

If a woman kissed a man but then didn't want to sleep with him would she have led him on?

He didn't lead her on. He didn't want to sleep with her. All respect to him for not going through with it if he didn't want to. He has nothing to apologise for.

Imagine some of these posters telling their DD that she was wrong to go a bit cold on a man when he demanded an explanation of their relationship status after she said no to sex 🙃

I'd be hoping that the truth is, he has realised the spark isn't there to take things further, you were drunk and he knew it wasn't a good idea...

Because the alternative is that he's manipulating you, and yes... this is a thing. Get you all wound up and then drop you... and leave it a few days and do the same, future faking you, messing with your emotions as a form of control.

The former is upsetting but the latter is absolutely vile behaviour straight outta the Andrew Tate playbook.

But I don't think it is as clear cut as "leading you on" means sex. @AmberCatz, you thought he was emotionally available for dating and a relationship and your behaviour meant ''Let's pursue the relationship", not just "Let's have sex". I do think he has been misleading and unfair to you and I would expect him to apologise/explain himself to you if there is going to be any semblance of a friendship going forward. If he isn't capable of that (or you don't want it) I'd cut the connection entirely.

This reminds me of someone I dated in 2012. He picked me up and put me down as he saw fit. My self esteem was rock bottom back then, and I had no idea how men should be treating me. Every time his name popped up on my phone, I'd be delighted and rush to meet him, even if it had been the first time I'd heard from him in months.

This guy, like yours, used to act like we were dating some days, and then other times would ghost me, and then one of our mutual friends would tell me he was seeing other women.

Do you think this guy could be seeing others, and that's why he seems to blow hot and cold?

For what it's worth, I feel he does fancy you. That is what comes across in your post (and I also remember your previous post).

I don’t see what he’s done wrong at all. For whatever reason he didn’t want to take it further with OP. I’ve done the same - been on a few dates with someone I did initially like, but the spark just wasn’t there when it came to getting physical. It happens. It doesn’t mean he hadn’t been interested in her, or was leading her on.

“You’ve led me on” isn’t any more reasonable coming from a woman than it is a man.

I would take it that he respected you enough to not just use you, you put your cards on the table he said hes not interested, its ego bruising but not as much as it would be if he had gone back with you, blocked you and started dissing your to your friends. let it go..