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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

AIBU for saying my DH needs to man tf up

369 replies

ambitiousqueen · 23/09/2026 09:31

DH has just gotten a very good job promotion, and I am very proud of him. Obviously. Lovely salary, lovely title, everyone congratulating him etc. BUT. He is destined for an even greater promotion (CEO level). Don't ask how I know this.
The problem is DH keeps saying he doesn't want to "get involved in office politics" and that “nature will take its course” I've tried encouraging him. I've said, hypothetically, if there was a person standing between my DH and the CEO position, then perhaps one might consider... removing the obstacle. metaphorically I mean
Also, I may have suggested that DH invite the current CEO round for a nice little dinner.Purely hospitality, obviously. DH said he was worried about the consequences, particularly the whole "divine judgement, eternal damnation" side of things. Blah blah blah
Honestly, he's overthinking it.
I am NOT saying DH should kill anyone. Obviously not... at least not with his eyes open. I'm only saying that hypothetically, if one wanted to rise to the very top, one might need to show a little more ambition
AIBU to think DH needs to man up and seize his opportunity?
FWIW, I’ve already laid out the plan, and the metaphorical dagger is just waiting to be used.

OP posts:
FCCRULES · 23/09/2026 19:33

Elsvieta · 23/09/2026 19:13

Does he WANT to climb further up the ladder? Have you asked? Because it sounds like maybe he doesn't.

He does want to. It’s just his good nature getting in the way!

nutbrownhare15 · 23/09/2026 19:28

I am going to ask how you know he is destined for that CEO job. Did he email you after meeting some women at a BBQ who told him that?

DannyDeever · 23/09/2026 19:21

Elsvieta · 23/09/2026 19:13

Does he WANT to climb further up the ladder? Have you asked? Because it sounds like maybe he doesn't.

Yeah if you asked him he'd probably say something like: "I have no spur To prick the sides of my intent, but only Vaulting ambition".

So it isn't just pressure from the missus. He really wants the gig himself.

LittleMonks11 · 23/09/2026 19:16

YABU for using the grotesquery of a word ‘gotten’

Elsvieta · 23/09/2026 19:13

Does he WANT to climb further up the ladder? Have you asked? Because it sounds like maybe he doesn't.

NotTheDramaMum · 23/09/2026 18:45

PollyBell · 23/09/2026 10:12

Yeah women are not capable of anything themselves

ummm in this case its actually him that isn’t doing what he should by himself

Heythere1234 · 23/09/2026 18:31

StiffAsAVicar · 23/09/2026 09:40

Just checking in that everyone’s taken their meds this morning!

😂

Wadsworthy · 23/09/2026 18:28

Jc2001 · 23/09/2026 15:47

Haha your are Margot from the Good Life

Er, no. I think she's a bit older than that.

FadedRed · 23/09/2026 15:48

Fiftyandme · 23/09/2026 10:23

Shall ye bring the cauldron?

My weather app says Thursday’s going to be a bit wet, shall I bring the golf umbrellas?

Jc2001 · 23/09/2026 15:47

ambitiousqueen · 23/09/2026 09:31

DH has just gotten a very good job promotion, and I am very proud of him. Obviously. Lovely salary, lovely title, everyone congratulating him etc. BUT. He is destined for an even greater promotion (CEO level). Don't ask how I know this.
The problem is DH keeps saying he doesn't want to "get involved in office politics" and that “nature will take its course” I've tried encouraging him. I've said, hypothetically, if there was a person standing between my DH and the CEO position, then perhaps one might consider... removing the obstacle. metaphorically I mean
Also, I may have suggested that DH invite the current CEO round for a nice little dinner.Purely hospitality, obviously. DH said he was worried about the consequences, particularly the whole "divine judgement, eternal damnation" side of things. Blah blah blah
Honestly, he's overthinking it.
I am NOT saying DH should kill anyone. Obviously not... at least not with his eyes open. I'm only saying that hypothetically, if one wanted to rise to the very top, one might need to show a little more ambition
AIBU to think DH needs to man up and seize his opportunity?
FWIW, I’ve already laid out the plan, and the metaphorical dagger is just waiting to be used.

Haha your are Margot from the Good Life

WearyAuldWumman · 23/09/2026 15:47

Ronaldos · 23/09/2026 15:45

Did you tell him to get "out, out, damn Spot'?

I did, but it wouldn't bloody work.

Ronaldos · 23/09/2026 15:45

WearyAuldWumman · 23/09/2026 12:36

@ambitiousqueen

I've found a stray dog in my garden. According to his name tag, he's Spot.

Is he yours, by any chance?

Did you tell him to get "out, out, damn Spot'?

Ronaldos · 23/09/2026 15:43

Better get a few scented candles in, it may help with the hand washing

NewHere83 · 23/09/2026 15:41

This post is mental

Wadsworthy · 23/09/2026 15:24

Judashascomeintosomemoney · 23/09/2026 14:25

Op you Dunce, this is Inane.....

(lol, proud of myself there 😁)

Well Burnham Wood has already come ...

Wadsworthy · 23/09/2026 15:23

Well hello, Lady M. I hope you've had all your DC as your breasts are going to dry up soon! Grin

Or you're testing out a scenario for a television update on the Scottish play

DannyDeever · 23/09/2026 15:20

MagicMagpie · 23/09/2026 15:12

OP is simply initiating a hostile takeover of the long-established Duncan and Sons Inc. There’s bound to be casualties.

It should work out ok, as long as a trio of management consultants don't shag it all up with a load of misleading business forecasts.

MagicMagpie · 23/09/2026 15:12

OP is simply initiating a hostile takeover of the long-established Duncan and Sons Inc. There’s bound to be casualties.

DontSayItsOver · 23/09/2026 15:10

That which hath made them drunk hath made me bold. What hath quenched them hath given me fire.

MagicMagpie · 23/09/2026 15:05

Hmm - it could be argued that it’s all part of the cut and thrust of the modern workplace.

DannyDeever · 23/09/2026 15:02

MagicMagpie · 23/09/2026 14:57

I think it’s his boss who merits the sympathy.

Yeah, but it would be a shame if a couple of low paid security guards became collateral damage in all this.

MagicMagpie · 23/09/2026 14:57

SkySmiler · 23/09/2026 12:46

Poor bloke

I think it’s his boss who merits the sympathy.

AnotherOneIsntFussed · 23/09/2026 14:51

Applesonthelawn · 23/09/2026 14:11

It's not his dream though is it? He's reluctant to take on the politics, and perhaps is self-aware enough to know that it wouldn't suit him? Politics can be extremely wearing for some people

And dangerous for others.

Pedallleur · 23/09/2026 14:48

It's Margot from The Good Life when she is inviting Jerry's boss to dinner. Or maybe the OP is planning/hoping something will befall this other person. an accident, illness, arrest for instance.

DannyDeever · 23/09/2026 14:45

Best thread ever. My finger is sore from hitting ❤️ so much.

We need the laugh emoji back.

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