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AIBU?

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AIBU to feel exhausted by my dog? Anyone else ever had a nightmare dog?

10 replies

BlancheChien · 23/09/2026 09:14

It’s long, sorry … 8 years of stress and frustration to get through …

Ive had big dogs all my life. Grew up with golden retrievers and Irish setters. I always had a thing for German shepherds so as soon as I was able to get my own dog I got my first german shepherd. Over the years I’ve had 3 German shepherds and a Rottweiler. Never any problems with any of them.
Then after a few years of not having a dog I decided to go for a dobermann. Did tons of research, I knew it would be hard work but I didn’t think it would be much harder than a German shepherd.

Well fuck me.

I bought a 10 week old dobermann pup - good breeder - a number of champions in the line … she was the PERFECT puppy. No chewing at all, housetrained within 2 weeks, fine being left for a few hours, excelled in all her obedience classes, did kennel club bronze, I started her in hoopers which she was brilliant at … then all of a sudden it all went tits up. Seemingly overnight she changed. She started being a nightmare in her classes … it was almost as if she thought to herself “what would happen if I don’t do what they say?” “What would happen if I attack that other dog?” “What would happen if - instead of obeying, I fight back?”
Long story short she was thrown out of her obedience classes due to how disruptive she became. Instead we were invited to one on one training … on the first session she bit the trainer (didn’t draw blood).
I took her to a behaviourist who said she was frustrated due to her very high intelligence. I started doing more mind games with her (was already doing a lot!) and she enjoyed them but if you wasn’t doing it all fucking day she got frustrated. I upped the exercise … 2 hour walks twice a day … the dog would NOT tire. No matter what you did she was like a machine. I took her to dobermann expert who said similar to behaviourist … exceptional intelligence but completely unhinged. By this point she had attacked two other dogs and was now muzzled which was adding to her frustration. … all this was within the first 5 years!!!
I was assured she would calm down when she hit 2 … then 3 … then 5 … she’s now 8 and exactly the same as she was at 1 year old. My whole life revolves around her. I can’t move without her getting excited, jumping up to her feet and going nuts throwing herself into walls etc
yet on the other hand I can leave her alone for 8 hours (I don’t but have on occasion been unexpectedly stuck at work) and she does not put a foot wrong in the house whilst I’m gone.
im tired. She wakes up at 5am and is immediately up and rearing to go for a full day of chaos. This energy lasts until gone 11pm. I can’t relax, she doesn’t settle. She gets so much exercise that I’m absolutely knackered myself but nobody else can walk her because of what she’s like.
Shes so intune to me that I only have to have a fleeting thought about getting up and she seems to get a telepathic signal and jumps to her feet. I find myself not even wanting to go to toilet because I know it will set her off.
I love her dearly but my god 8 years in prison would have been kinder to my mental health.

Not even sure why I’m posting, I’m just exhausted and needed to vent. This will be my last ever dog. I’ve been put off for life. I can’t even have visitors because she’s so reactive and unpredictable.

Anyone else ever had a nightmare dog?

(she’s had multiple medical tests, she has no physical health issues).

OP posts:
LuckyHazelFox · 23/09/2026 09:18

Yes I've got one at the minute but I chose him as a pup and I live with the decision 5 years later. He is a fucking handful. He pulled me over yesterday. I've tried every type of harness with him but he's a working dog so his strength and volatility is off the scale. He gets enough exercise to burn off his energy. Good as gold in the house though.

BlancheChien · 23/09/2026 09:21

LuckyHazelFox · 23/09/2026 09:18

Yes I've got one at the minute but I chose him as a pup and I live with the decision 5 years later. He is a fucking handful. He pulled me over yesterday. I've tried every type of harness with him but he's a working dog so his strength and volatility is off the scale. He gets enough exercise to burn off his energy. Good as gold in the house though.

Strange isn’t it how they’re so bloody good in the house?! I see all these posts from dog owners showing the damage their dogs do in the house and it looks horrendous so maybe I should count myself lucky but honestly I just fantasise now about being dog free again

OP posts:
noctilucentcloud · 23/09/2026 09:21

You might he better asking this to be moved to the Dog House

LuckyHazelFox · 23/09/2026 09:26

It's the price we pay for being massive dog lovers. 🐕 I know when I need time out away from him.

HashBrownAndBrownSauce · 23/09/2026 09:26

Solidarity! I have a complete D head of a dog too. Although well behaved in the house, he's hyper alert to any minute noise outside and will bark incessantly (terrier). My situation might be slightly different as I adopted him as a teenager and I suspect he missed his socialisation window.

What breed specific outlets have you tried? Would you consider bite work? Do you have a large flirt pole you could use to get some of the frustration out? Also, are you sure you are not over exercising?

Could you tether in the house after a long walk? Mine is tied up for an hour or so after a good walk to force a settle. Seems to help.

The single biggest improvement I saw with mine was nailing recall. That way he could be off lead and have the autonomy he needs as a terrier. Noticeable difference in his reactivity.

Myremoteislost · 23/09/2026 09:32

Border collie owner here, need I say more! He's an absolute dream in the house, doesn't chew, damage anything or pee/poo. I think I made a rod for my own back doing so much with him as a puppy because now he expects stimulation from me constantly. I've started introducing a 'do nothing' day once every 8 weeks. Obviously he's fed and allowed in the garden, but we don't do any walks, trick training or puzzles. He was a bit confused at first, but I'm now starting to see him become calmer in the days after.
They are such intelligent dogs, but I sometimes imagine my dog's brain to be completely buzzing and occasionally it needs a switch off. It's so tempting to give them more and more when they're hyped and looking for a job, but I sometimes think it's just adding to the problem.

LuckyHazelFox · 23/09/2026 09:32

I often envy other dog owners, whose dogs lay nicely by their sides in pubs and cafes. I couldn't take mine to one because he'd be after everyone's food, as well as just not settling. We take my partner's Jack Russell out with us and I do often feel guilty.

HikingHippo · 23/09/2026 09:41

Have you ever taught her to settle?

By giving the constant brain games and exercise, you can inadvertently just end up with a very fit dog who needs increasing amounts of exercise and brain stimulation and end up totally wired.

I've had intelligent, high energy dogs (collies, and collie/spaniel mixes mainly) and have had some who have had to be taught them to settle and relax, and almost be given permission to switch their brains off.

My current elderly terrier is the other end of the scale, its a bit of a shock to the system to have a dog who refuses walks!

MandingoAteMyBaby · 23/09/2026 09:51

Do they do Mogadon for dogs ? Dogadon ?

Pumpkinsaregrowingnicely · 23/09/2026 10:00

Have you a trainer who has their own ddogs yours can befriend?..we met our trainer's ddogs with dpuppy last week. Secure field only £10 an hour.Going to be a regular meet up.

Taught dpuppy some great manners and a good run around together....dpuppy was muzzled for the first meet..
Maybe a playmate could help burn off some adrenaline..

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