AIBU to find dating apps painfully dull after one week?

My approach with the apps was to suggest a drink/coffee with someone I liked the look of (not just aesthetically, but the look of their profile) and use that meet-up to decide, “do I want to go on a date with this person?” I didn’t want to spend time or energy messaging with strangers before I’d met them in person and discovered if there was any chemistry between us. Treating the first meet-up as very much not a date took away a lot of the pressure and made things fun for me. I just went in curious rather than with any expectations.

(This also worked for me because I am a deathly dull messenger and, I hope, much sparkier in person.)

How many people have you made laugh on there? What interesting conversations have you started?

I try to think of an interesting first contact such as "where's the one place you've visited on holiday you would return to" I got a Hi back, I'm still waiting a week later for the answer..........I've given up. I usually try to pick something out of their profile to mention but so many don't bother to complete which to me shows a complete lack of effort

I found much more success declining anyone I thought was vaguely pretty and going for men I had things in common with. The normal blokes with geeky interests were all dying to chat properly and I went on lots of fab dates over the summer before finding my person.

im early 50s not on a dating app but language exchange app which is used for unofficially for dating (Italian). All most men manage on there is ciao or good morning you ask a question they answer one word . Language barrier accounts for some of it but they cdn type in Italian . However yesterday I was texting voice noting with someone for 3 hours talked about everything from politics Italian culture with some pretty impressive innuendo /flirting towards the end given it was. In a second language . You just have too root out the crap ones quick - the burn the haystack method

Another vote here for applying Burned Haystack method.

In my experience most men on the apps put in minimal effort yet feel entitled to your attention, effort and adoration.

The majority will not be worthy of it I wouldn’t bother trying to improve them, educate them, or even give them the benefit of the doubt. Just block and keep moving on.

I'm glad I'm not the only one who thought that. The last time I tried, there were several photos of men in muddy jeans, holding muddy fish on muddy river banks.

Or they were just down. Surely a clean shirt and a smile isn't too much to hope for.

I've given up on apps for now but people keep telling me I need to try again if I want to meet someone. 😟

Did you make anyone laugh?

Are you suuuuuure you want/need a man in your life? I feel as though increasingly women are realising that most men don't bring much to their existence at best, and actively make things harder for them at worst. I'm beginning to think they're right.

I’m similar age to you and I found dating men in their 30s much more fun. Older men are awful - in seven years I think I met two older than me who were fun, the rest were like literally dating a grandad - you could see why they were single. You ,could, if you’re new to OLD, also check out Burned Haystack Method - helps you to be utterly ruthless in blocking profiles that don’t meet a minimum requirement. Just unmatch and block and remember that it is a shitty system and the success rate is infinitesimal. So dont feel too bad.

After six years single I finally met someone so it can happen - you’ve been online a week 🤪

Old school men are a bit shit on the apps . Just not great at texting I found . He asks for your number so that he can call and actually talk to you . I met one man who I eventually spoke to for an hour most evenings that we didn't meet up . Reminded me of being a teenager 😀
And as for the pictures ! I used to say that they must all live alone and have no friends to help screen . Just so very unflattering. There are some very nice men there in the same position as you . You will learn to filter out the losers .

Which apps are you using. Admittedly most of them are dire but tinder and bumble are mostly terrible arseholes

Some people aren't great at chatting online. Get to the meeting them stage far sooner, see what they are like in real life

Use the apps to find out if they are vaguely attractive, then polite and courteous. Then meet up. Don't have huge conversations before, just enough to let you know that they aren't a knob. Meeting in real life should be the goal

Otherwise these apps just end up with you having multiple pen pals and still no partner/shag

You’re not wrong. Not sure what age bracket you’re in, but men in their 60s are utterly devoid of any kind of conversational skills beyond ‘morning’, or ‘hi’ (time of day dependent!). It’s dire.

I have tried to steer a conversation, but it fizzles out pretty quickly as they are very one dimensional. I don’t know what the answer is 🤷‍♀️