AIBU not to wake my 20-year-old for early shifts?

My son is a similar age does early morning too, he manages to get up and out himself. Your sister is being daft , what would he do if he didn't live at home. I did call my son one evening to show him something he had dozed off it was 7.30pm he woke up and thought he'd overslept lol . Blind panic ensued. Your ds will get used to it and I think him relying on you to get him up will only hamper him and make you exhausted.

Getting up at 4.30am is pretty much like having a 2 year old in the house, and no one enjoys those early morning wake-up calls. With the child though, you’re forced to get up. This 20 year old needs a little forcing too - by his mother!

Stellar advice 🎉

He needs to figure this out for himself, if he needs a different alarm clock he can look on Amazon etc. Your sister is being ridiculous. If he's bothered he'll figure it out. B

You are not being unreasonable, but I would probably try and help him get up early.I have a daughter who finds it hard to get up, I try to get her off her phone evenings, get her to read instead, sometimes wake her as well.

I have occasionally woken mine for work...like if I happen to notice the time and they're not up yet and I know they have work.. I've done it out of kindness knowing they have accidentally put alarm off instead of snoozed etc.
But would I regularly be doing that, no.
Especially at that hour of the day!!

I hate to say it, but I don't think he'll stick at this job long, he's clearly not a morning person and would be better finding something with a later start!

Is his first shift on a Monday ? I might agree to help him for 2 or 3 days on condition he doesn’t complain or blame me for any failures after that time. I also wouldn’t be happy if he was burning the candle at both ends and expecting me to get him up after he’s had 2 hours sleep or something ridiculous.

He’s 20, buy him a proper alarm clock!

Move him in with his aunt so she can wake him up. Or tell her to come over every morning at 4:30 am to wake her nephew. Why are you taking advice from your sister when she’s suggesting you baby your adult son.

Omg 😂

The sorting office does a 5 til 10am Saturday shift but one of my DC doesn't want to do this as it's "too early ". Kids aren't hard worked these days!

OP I would make sure he gets up himself. He needs to learn at that age.

I would wake him at least while he is starting out.

OP, put a limit on it - tell your DS you’ll wake him up for a month, but after that, he needs to get himself up. My ex-husband used to use the “I can’t get out of bed unless you wake me up” as a control thing, and used to expect me to phone him from my mother’s house when I wasn’t at home. It caused rows with my father, and often, he’d just let the phone ring out (this was before mobiles). The point is, he NEEDS to learn to get up by himself - that’s what grown-ups do. I know you want to help him, and I understand why, but you’re not doing him any favours if he thinks that it’s always someone else’s responsibility to ensure that he gets up in time.

@itsmeitsyouyour duty as a parent is to bring up an adult who can look after themselves.

Get him a better alarm - it’s absurd that you have to get up because he’s just accepted that his alarm clock doesn’t always wake him. He needs a better solution. Although FWIW I would actually wake up and check the alarm had woken him for the first few days. I just wouldn’t accept that as an ongoing solution when he seems to have done nothing to try and solve the problem himself.

This is insane. At 20 I had a 2-year-old, a job, and a house. And this 20-year-old can’t figure out how to get out of bed on time?

Sounds like torture 😂

Okay. Risk having a NEET, up to you. I personally would make sure he’s up!

Does he have one of those alarms that keeps blaring until he solves a puzzle? Those things saved me when I was on earlies. Free versions exist too!

YOU would do this? Not the 20-year-old?

No because where does it end? If you do it now, then he’s reliant on you for it. Inconvenient for you, but what happens when you're on holiday? What happens if you're unwell?

He needs to get a loud alarm clock and place it the other side of the room to force him out of bed to turn it off. He also needs to adjust what time he goes to bed to make sure he's getting enough sleep and if for some reason he is immune to alarm clocks, he’ll just have to get another job that doesn't start that early.

I'm fully with you on this one!

Ideally yes but personally i would just be greatful hes got s job .

At 4.30 am it’s hard to value anything, tiredness takes over and it’s easy to fall back to sleep. If mum and dad are in the same house, they should all support each other when needed.

He's TWENTY and he can't figure out he needs to wake himself up without mummy. He's not that bloody young.