Neighbour waking me up

my husband passed away this summer and one of the hardest things to accept has been how the world just keeps on going. Sometimes I want to scream in the most inopportune moments 'My husband died why won't you bastards respect that and shut up and stop the earth turning'

But that would be insane and wrong so I just cry when I'm alone and keep putting one foot in front of the other.

I'm sorry. Grief is HARD. The only way out of it is to go through it and part of that may mean poor sleep.

Hating someone for doing normal things during normal hours is a waste of your precious energy.

I’m sorry for your loss and struggling to sleep is awful - I’ve had awful sleep for about 30 years.
You’re being unreasonable though. He has to put his bins out and doing it isn’t being selfish. He may not want to put them out the night before (where I live I wouldn’t do it because the local yobs would be knocking them over or setting fire to them!).
I hope you manage a nap this afternoon.

Thought 'now' in the OP was typo for new?

Our neighbours have got very noisy young DC and every Sunday they go for swimming lessons which means about 20 trips to and from the car, door slamming, shouting, MUMMYing at full blast and eventually the car revving off the drive. All of which starts around 7.30am and they leave around 7.50am.

I daren't leave a window open but the noise disturbs our dogs who in turn disturb me. Last Sunday, I opened the upstairs window and said "what on earth is all that noise at this time of the morning" very loudly. I doubt they'll have heard me over the screaming of MUUUUUUUUMMMMMMMYYYYYYYYYYYYY though

So you're supposed to get up at silly o'clock just to put your bin out? That's ridiculous.

I miss the days (pre wheelie bins) when binmen would tell you off if you put bins at the front of your house, it was a 'back door service' - and they'd put them back when they had been emptied. I hate to see wheelie bins everywhere, they're a blight on our streets.

Another vote for wax earplugs OP, I have noisy children next door and I don't hear a thing in the early morning.

Putting bins out at 6am on collection day is a perfectly normal and reasonable activity.

Sorry you're grieving OP. This no doubt makes normal things feel much bigger and more unreasonable than they actually are!

What led you to believe he's new to the area?

Have you tried sleep earbuds (mine were £25-ish from Amazon and block out noise too) and listening to gentle music or audiobooks, to occupy your mind a bit and maybe help you to sleep?

I have chronic insomnia and listening to music or 'heavy' factual audiobooks helps me to drift off. When I'm getting sleepy I set the sleep timer on YouTube (Premium so no adverts)/ Audible/ Borrowbox/ whatever app I'm listening to. I find the Marconi Union Weightless playlist particularly helpful, but I know many people prefer 'sleep stories'.

I'm so sorry for your loss.

Ok so he forgot it and thought shit - got to get them out before work.

Unless the drip is he’s always inconsiderate

Oh love, what a crappy day. I'm very sorry for your loss, I hope you get some sleep soon, and all wheely bins can fuck right off! ❤️

Your grief and tiredness are making you unreasonable OP. Hope you get some much needed sleep soon

Sorry for your loss OP
I sympathise re the bins. We were renovating and lived in a caravan in the front garden which was along the fence line. Every bin night at 11:00pm on the dot, my neighbour would bang out the contents of their food caddy, then roll the bins, one at a time along their cobbled drive way- right next to the caravan- which has absolutely no insulation/noise reduction and was only single glazed.

I used these ear plugs. They don't completely block everything, so I'd still wake to the alarm, but were enough to help block the bin noise. www.boots.com/boots-soft-disposable-foam-earplugs-20-pairs-10330236?traffic=paid.shopping&gclsrc=aw.ds&gad_source=1&gad_campaignid=19973635567&gbraid=0AAAAA-AdmwT3yS7gbwAwHKLF0kH0DHRJ6&gclid=Cj0KCQjw8c3VBhCsARIsAA_xJ92ilPPW31WFddD_or7lYm0rINk1Dz6356vCsgtg3rXVXiH4reXl6SkaAjN3EALw_wcB

I'm sorry you're grieving and having a hard time sleeping. It's horrible and I think it's normal to feel irritated by being woken up by your neighbour, even if he's not really done anything wrong. Maybe he fell asleep last night and only remembered the bins this morning!

Sorry for your loss and that this is affecting your sleep but your neighbour hasn't done anything wrong, he had to get his bins out or they'd have been missed. It's easy to forget bin day the night before no matter how long you've lived there I've not remembered until half 5 in morning and only knew because bin lorry woke me up with the yellow flashing lights and noise from the next street before. So even though I understand sleep deprivation isn't great yabu, I hope the earplugs you buy works and that you are getting sufficient support through your grief.

Yabu but it is understandable, sleep is so precious and you are obviously really sensitive to noise atm. Your neighbour has likely been doing this all the time but you have never noticed before because you have been in a deep sleep. I am sorry you are grieving and your sleep is suffering, agree with others on ear plugs. The best ones I have used are called watery ear plugs think they are meant to protect ears when doing water sports but also cut out noise really well

He's putting his bins out, not having a rave. YABU.

YANBU OP, but neither are your neighbours. Hope you start to feel better soon.

I am sure your neigbour would much rather not leave for work at 5am. And van doors are notoriously noisy (we had one, we didn't love it either but that's the question for the manufacturer). Not everything is "selfish", some things are just life.

Our council has said bins can't be put out the night before!

Being woken up when it feels like you just managed to drop off an hour ago is the absolute pits, when all you want to do is sleep.

Silicone earplugs and an eye mask are definitely worth a try, I also use the Mack's ones, and they really do cut out most noise. Hope tonight is better.

Im really sorry about your losses, but actually your neighbour is doing what is needed.
While most of us do put the bins out the night before, our council is very clear they shouldnt be left out overnight.

It probably feels like a long wsy off, but I hope tonight is more restful for you.

I'm so sorry for your loss OP💐

We're all terribly organised about getting our bins lined up the night before in our close,however the first bin lorry came at 7.25am and straightaway there was the sound of multiple wheelies being dragged back to their respective homes( including ours,thanks to our kind ndn)! There's another lorry due soon for the food waste.Although the food waste bins aren't wheelies,there will be a certain amount of clatter along with that.Some weeks there are two wheelie bins to put out and bring back in again.

I too slept badly last night due to my flippin' back.Can't do too much about the bin lorries though I'm afraid; as PPs have said,they're all part of normal routine and I'm used to expecting a certain amount of racket every Wednesday morning.

Some excellent suggestions for sleep help from previous posters.Are you able to catch up on any sleep at all today?Look after yourself xx

I use Hush Silicone ear plugs - they're £3.99 for a pack of seven and one is sufficient for 2 ears and they really do block out the noise. I also use Pukka Night Time tea bags and they help immensely. I am a terrible sleeper these days but those things combined with Trip Dream Drops have really helped me in recent months.

So sorry that you’re grieving OP and not sleeping. That’s not a combination that’s going to make you feel good.

We don’t have bin problems but the neighbour across the road leaves for work at 5 which seems to involve multiple van door slams every morning.

Some people are just selfish twats.

Honestly OP, life doesn't revolve around you and your specific circumstances. How is he supposed to know you are grieving and not falling asleep until 2am?

Maybe he is thinking that he doesn't want to take the bins out at 7pm because it could wake up the young children of another neighbour who've just fallen asleep!