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AIBU?

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Original poster

What would you do?

15 replies

ScoobyACZ · 23/09/2026 00:11

Hello all

i am a male that has joined what I believe to be a mainly female domain but please bear with me.

my stepdaughter ( now mid 30’s and I brought her up from the age of 4) has married someone that I am concerned about.

he has always had a temper. A bad one.

their child was born by C-section 3 months ago

as grandparents we were so happy

long story short, father punched me to the floor after i called him a prick for behaving like a prick. I’m still suffering from the effects

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DahliaDelights · 23/09/2026 10:59

Is your daughter on his side or yours? Is she under his spell, or in and DV situation?

You say long story short, but thats a hell of a condensing. You called him a prick for being a prick and he punched you.

Punching is always wrong, you were assaulted and should report it. But your relationship with your daughter coukd be negatively impacted if she is landing on his side (by only having his version for instance).

There could be many nuances and facets to the situation that might see you excommunicated.

Mumtobabyhavoc · 23/09/2026 07:33

Police, obviously.
Hospital to have injuries assessed and documented.
DV hotline/website info for DSD.

Ponoka7 · 23/09/2026 07:28

Calling someone a prick, when they have a temper, isn't a good idea and especially in their own home. You don't break a confidence and that isn't an effective way to speak to someone. You haven't got any power here, if things are bad you can work with your step daughter to help her leave. I agree that she'll need evidence because otherwise she has to hand her child to him.

RosesAndHellebores · 23/09/2026 07:09

What was he doing to behave like a prick?
Why did you think calling him a prick was a good idea?
Were the police called?
Are your step daughter and the baby safe?
What are you and your wife, her mother, doing to keep channels of communication open so your step daughter can always feel safe and welcome back home?
You mention the person's violent past and nature - what have they done in the past and hiw do you know?

Flyingdolphins · 23/09/2026 07:07

And request a Claire's Law check

cartagenagina · 23/09/2026 07:02

I would call the police.

TwinklyAmberSloth · 23/09/2026 07:00

You contact the police and report it obviously.

Because next time it might be your step daughter or someone else...

Cartouche · 23/09/2026 06:42

I’d call the police. Why wouldn’t you?

Tamtim · 23/09/2026 06:39

Report him to the police. Your daughter may need that paper trail in the future if he assaults her or, god forbid, their child. All you can do is see her regularly and let her know you’ll always be there for her. Don’t allow him to alienate your daughter from you.

BibbityBoppityTwo · 23/09/2026 00:25

And sorry, I do agree with the other posts about contacting police if this assault just happened recently.

BibbityBoppityTwo · 23/09/2026 00:24

If you are worried about him potentially becoming violent towards your SD or grandchild, all you can really do is be there for her. If you notice signs he is being abusive to her, it is OK to ask the question, or to say you’ve noticed things and you’re worried. You need to listen in a non judgemental way and never try to force her to take any action. Let her know you’re always there for her to talk to. Try to focus on her and not demonise him, even if it’s warranted, as this can make victims less likely to confide in you. Just focus on his behaviour that you’ve noticed.

Ultimately, the choice about what to do needs to be hers, but we know that good family support is very helpful in giving victims the strength to leave these situations.

Smallpoxy · 23/09/2026 00:23

Doesn't sound very sensible from your side though.
Call the police. It's assult.

Lollipopsicle · 23/09/2026 00:20

Yes, call the police. It’s assault. Hope you’re not too seriously injured.

JillyComeLately · 23/09/2026 00:18

Report him to the police, he has physically assaulted you.

TheBroonOneAndTheWhiteOne · 23/09/2026 00:17

I'm sorry to hear this.
Did you call the police?
Has this man assaulted your daughter, too?