Which child is wrong-er

Child B had no right whatsoever to know what child A was doing. He was inserting himself into something that was no concern of his, and not taking no for an answer. He needs to learn to mind his own business and understand boundaries. There was no onus on child A to tell him anything, he’s not the boss of her. She shouldn’t have pushed him, though.

And yet it was obvious to posters reading your posts which child was yours.

Why do you think that was?

Child A put their hands on Child B first, it doesn't matter if it was a soft push. I was raised that once you put your hands on someone, you have no right to complain about what comes back at you. Child B was being annoying so it's probably a lesson learned for both.

I told her she shouldn't have pushed as people will often push back

no your DD shouldn’t have pushed the other child because it’s wrong.

Child A (your child) was wrong.( Like all of us) she will spend a lifetime dealing with arseholes - violence will never be the answer. Teach her to use her words.

This is a very minor incident in the scheme of things.

Oh so he’s not seated next to her? That’s good. Was going to suggest asking if they could be moved.

Try and imagine they are both your kids and see it from both sides.

Why was child A giving so much time and attention to fiddling with a pencil case, in lesson time? Did they not have work to do? Could the pencil case issue not have waited?

Honestly it sounds like two easily distracted, volatile children sitting next to each other.

Child A needs to listen to the teacher, do what she’s told, speak up to resolve small issues herself, then tell the teacher if that doesn’t work.

And yes it’s very obvious child A is yours and you’re trying to paint her as a poor, sweet victim when actually she behaved badly and instigated violence. Her behaviour should be your focus.

Child A was properly wrong first.

Child A should have told an adult, not pushed.

There will be irritating, overstepping people everywhere in life and we need to manage those situations safely.

We have the right to leave the situation, report the situation or verbally relay our feelings and ask someone to stop. We do not have the right to physically touch someone in frustration and that needs dealing with.

Child A unfortunately learnt the hard way that pushing someone can hurt you.

Both need words from adults on managing social situations though.

I'd be sending her to a martial arts class so she learns to block/defend rather than attack first. And also to loudly keep shouting no wherever possible.

It doesn't matter. One child being more in the wrong doesn't change the actions of the other child, nor are the actions of the other child within your control. Focus on what your child could have done differently to prevent the escalation. Because the world is full of people who are going to do wrong and children need to learn how to deal with then without doing wrong themselves.

To everyone saying Child A shouldn't have pushed, what SHOULD she have done? What is the socially acceptable way for a girl to get a boy to leave her the fuck alone, when she has already 1. Given non verbal signals, 2. given a verbal no and 3. moved away and 4. the teacher has demonstrated that they don't intervene in situations like this?

Child A marginally worse.

I would just refer her back to the school. And tell her you’ll relay what she said to them. Don’t get involved with who was more right or wrong. Squabbles between kids blow over a lot faster than adults.

The point is they are both wrong. Deal with both as such. No need for comparative analysis of their “crimes”. Life’s too short

Child A driven to push away insistent, persistent Child B. Can’t blame them, personally.

Child B needs to learn to mind their own business. Child A reminded that even if faced with annoying people, physical reaction usually doesn’t end well…

Child B.

Children so young can rarely emotionally regulate. If child B is harrassing your DD by repeating the same in your face behaviour, she got fed up and resorted to the only way she knew how to stop the bullying. Advocate for your DD. Some children are bullies, starting very young and caused by diverse issues. You don't know those issues, but one thing is a casual squable between kids and the same child harrassing your DD in separate incidents.

Child A put her hands on child B first so she gets my vote

OP i have just seen your update comments about the other mum messaging you. That is batshit behaviour from her over a little push. My only reply to that would be "i will speak to the school and both childrens behaviour as neither was acceptable". No further replies, comments etc. The mother is likely the reason the child is so badly behaved.

She didn't want to talk about it and she made that clear. She even tried to move away and Child B followed her. It was none of Child B's business and he needs to learn to respect other people's boundaries.

Child B did the first thing that could cause injury (assuming A's was definitely a gentle push)