Which child is wrong-er

You're doing your daughter a disservice with this type of 'my child always has an excuse' parenting

So when do we suddenly tell boys that behaviour their parents haven't reigned in because "not a teenager" is actually wrong and always was? 10? 15? 20?

OP's daughter needs to be very clear saying "no / go away/ I said no / I told you to stop" in firm, calm but increasingly loud voice. OO also needs to tell teacher to reinforce the fact that EVERYONE must respect boundaries.

Role play with her. Lending her to give him firm instructions.
'I will talk to you but please remove back one step'
'I dont like it when you get close to my face please move back'

Teach dd stiff arms if he is invading her space

She steps back put arms out straight and says a set line that she has practised, something like 'i dont like you being that close please move

Absolutely child A. Pushing is never acceptable, especially by the age of 7/8. I can't believe people will still make excuses for this sort of behaviour.

On the contrary. Child B needs to be told by at least teacher, preferably also both parents, that when someone says "no" they butt the fuck out.

Child B is an aggravating little sod. If they were doing that as an adult they would likely be told to fuck off and go away. It's not okay to push but child A knows that and it's been dealt with properly by the teacher. The other mum is nuts.

Teach your child other ways to deal with an annoying child. That doesn't mean that they have to put up with it- and I wouldn't be teaching that either. It's more ..what do you do if your boundaries are crossed.

They are not equivalent though. Being annoying as an adult is not a reason to be hit, so it shouldn't be for kids. At 7 or 8 it is easier to learn the hard and fast rule of no hitting or pushing, it is harder to understand boundaries and what other people may find annoying.

Honestly, it sounds like your daughter was upset and frustrated by whatever was happening in her pencil case, her friend annoyed her and he got the brunt of her upset.

True, but all child a needed to say was I'm trying to fix my pen or whatever. If the child was clearly upset over it, child b may of just been trying to help!

Never an excuse to lay hands on anyone!

You are continuing to justify Child A's behaviour. Loads of kids are annoying, it doesn't mean we get to raise our hands to them.

hi, so I volunteer with ND kids and hear a lot of little issues like this.

It is possible for both children to have behaved in ways that are not okay - (we don't need to think about 'wrong or wronger ' tbh)

The first child sounds as though they are unaware of what irritating behaviour is to other children - either that or they were deliberately getting in the face of child A which is not great either.

They need to be told to back off when asked to - they will not have many friends if they are not able to control this ie. read the room/ read another childs feelings/ stop bugging them. It is irrelevant what they were asking about - they were asked to stop

child A -needs to learn - you NEVER put your hands on another child. It can escalate.

It's not helpful to ask who was more in the wrong - they are young children and need supporting in learning helpful ways to behave.

teacher should be aware that child B is behaving in ways other children find annoying. They may need more support? In a busy room.

But she shouldn’t raise her hands to anyone, no matter how much she feels they’re bothering her.
She’s squarely in the wrong here, but you’re determined to portray her as the little innocent who was goaded beyond endurance.
Incidentally, why are you teaching her not to hit in case the other person hits back?! That’s not why we don’t use our hands on other people.

Child A resorted to pushing first so child A is more at fault. As adults we can’t just start pushing people and expect no one to retaliate so children need to learn the same

Least said soonest mended imho.
Just a minor fall out. Move on
Unless one child is persistently shoving others around then teacher needs to know

This is such a minor issue that head space shouldn't be being given too. But given that you are, you're minimising your daughter's part more than it should be in proportion to what happened. She got physical with someone else first. Doesn't matter the reason. She is the most in the wrong

Child A was more in the wrong for shoving first but Child B was annoying and should respect people’s boundaries.
The teacher dealt with it and to be honest, as a TA, this kind of thing would potentially be a regular occurrence during a school week and after being dealt with, would be forgotten about. Kids squabble.
Unless this is a repeating pattern of behaviour from Child A then Child B’s mum was way OTT.
I’d tell ChildA to stay away from him and if he gets in her face again, to tell the teacher or TA. We also used to tell the children to put there hand up (as if they were stopping traffic!) and to say ‘stop’ assertively. A clear boundary has been set then. Better than shoving!

I would say child A has learnt a lesson not to push

Being annoying isn’t a reason for raising your hands to someone. Surprised at so many posters accepting this. What message are we teaching our kids saying that? It sounds more like child A was upset and overreacted. That’s on her, not child B.

Child A in the wrong. All the background stuff is irrelevant. She pushed first. End of story. If someone pushed me over bloody right I’d push them back harder.

Reading most of the answers, People calling child B annoying and in your face etc.
But she mentioned that they are/ were otherwise friends.
It sounds to me that he saw his friend upset and wanted to help her. Understandably she was frustrated and did not want to tell him as yet. He obviously did not pick up on this cue and continued asking. Yes a little irritating but he was trying to be helpful.
Sounds like something i would have done when i was younger as i lacked a bit of patience.
He does need to learn patience but did not deserve a push however gentle.
She was definitely in the wrong to get physical first especially since she knew he was trying to help.

Having said that, unless injuries occured, this is a very small spat. Does not warrant phonecalls from mums. Just a general, quit being silly and move on. It is after all kids being kids.