Page 3 | Which child is wrong-er

Dancingwithmyselfoohooh · 2026-09-22T21:45:19+00:00

Know it's not a word lol Child A: Breaks something in their own pencil case by accident, is a bit upset and is trying to fix it Child B: wants to know what happened, asks child A many times/repetitive asking and trying to look Child A: Becomes fed up of Child A constantly asking, pushes them away in the chest (quite gently) Child B: Doesn't like being pushed, pushes Child A back much harder, child A nearly falls over a chair, starts to cry and become very upset Who is in the wrong here?

Emily3325 · 23/09/2026 22:10

Dancingwithmyselfoohooh · 22/09/2026 23:32

No thumping?

Sometimes telling teachers results in nothing happening

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Staff wouldn’t waste more than 30 seconds on this. It would get a “sit down and leave X alone” from me.
We deal with tiny squabbles like this dozens of times a day, it’s the parents who have blown this completely out of proportion

KilkennyCats · 23/09/2026 22:05

TheEdgyMoose · 23/09/2026 21:54

Can you please explain the thinking behind teaching a girl not to defend herself against a boy who won't take no for an answer?

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She didn’t need to defend herself, they weren’t down a dark alley, ffs! They were safely in a classroom and she could have and should have just told the teacher if he was being that annoying.

TheEdgyMoose · 23/09/2026 21:54

Globules · 22/09/2026 23:08

Then it's child A.

They're old enough to know not to push. However gentle it was.

As a primary teacher of many years, child A would have had the consequence in my classtoom and child B would have had a talk with me.

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Can you please explain the thinking behind teaching a girl not to defend herself against a boy who won't take no for an answer?

Livpool · 23/09/2026 21:09

Chunkybabythighs · 22/09/2026 23:11

100%. Your child was most wrong despite how you've tried to word it otherwise

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Exactly!

SockPlant · 23/09/2026 20:30

way to go reinforcing that boys can bug the fuck out of girls, but girls get the punishment when teachers do sweet FA to help.

UpSheGoesJosephine · 23/09/2026 20:26

Globules · 22/09/2026 23:08

Then it's child A.

They're old enough to know not to push. However gentle it was.

As a primary teacher of many years, child A would have had the consequence in my classtoom and child B would have had a talk with me.

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This.

From years of working in schools.

Ponoka7 · 23/09/2026 20:08

I hate the way children can goad, insult another child, but the child that gets physical is blamed. Children need to learn to keep out of each other's faces, mind their business and shut up. He actually initiated it. She retaliated and he went further. This is the age that children need to be taught that they don't get what they want and to respect each others boundaries. You tell his Mother to teach her son to back off. You don't tell your DD that she was wrong, as such, but should only use pushing if she really needs to.

TheEdgyMoose · 23/09/2026 19:57

Boreded · 23/09/2026 19:16

That’s not what the poster said, she means your daughter cannot control how someone behaves, only how she reacts to it. It doesn’t matter how annoying the other child was, she should walk away or tell a teacher, not report to violence.

Kids are all annoying at times, it’s a fact of life. But let’s be real though, this is all nonsense isn’t it, two young kids arguing and pushing is going to happen, tell her not to do it again and if it becomes a pattern then start to worry.

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She did walk away. He followed her.

Boreded · 23/09/2026 19:16

Dancingwithmyselfoohooh · 23/09/2026 18:50

Eh? She wasn't controlling anyone? She wanted to be left tf alone

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That’s not what the poster said, she means your daughter cannot control how someone behaves, only how she reacts to it. It doesn’t matter how annoying the other child was, she should walk away or tell a teacher, not report to violence.

Kids are all annoying at times, it’s a fact of life. But let’s be real though, this is all nonsense isn’t it, two young kids arguing and pushing is going to happen, tell her not to do it again and if it becomes a pattern then start to worry.

Original poster

Dancingwithmyselfoohooh · 23/09/2026 18:50

LucyBrownCow · 23/09/2026 17:33

It was obvious from the OP that Child A is your child.

Both were wrong. I wouldn't soothe Child A by telling her that the other child was more wrong. She needs to know she can't control other people, and they may be annoying but pushing is not acceptable.

FTR if you were B's mum, I'd give a similar response. That child also needs to learn that she can't control others, to take no for an answer, and not to respond to pushing by escalating things physically.

Eh? She wasn't controlling anyone? She wanted to be left tf alone

OP posts:

ApplebyArrows · 23/09/2026 17:58

Heavy sympathy for child A. At school I had a lot of experience of "child Bs" - i.e. annoying arseholes who won't respect boundaries no matter how clearly you state them - and I wished I'd pushed a few more of them out of the way.

Some kids will not take no for answer and the earlier other kids can show them they mean business the better. I was still putting up with "child Bs" several years into secondary school.

IbizaToTheNorfolkBroads · 23/09/2026 17:54

Child A because they threw the first punch.
However, Child B is a supercilious PITA who will meet their match soon.

LucyBrownCow · 23/09/2026 17:33

It was obvious from the OP that Child A is your child.

Both were wrong. I wouldn't soothe Child A by telling her that the other child was more wrong. She needs to know she can't control other people, and they may be annoying but pushing is not acceptable.

FTR if you were B's mum, I'd give a similar response. That child also needs to learn that she can't control others, to take no for an answer, and not to respond to pushing by escalating things physically.

Butchyrestingface · 23/09/2026 17:12

Dancingwithmyselfoohooh · 23/09/2026 17:11

True, just don't know what FAFO stands for 🤣

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Fuck Around and Find Out.

Original poster

Dancingwithmyselfoohooh · 23/09/2026 17:11

Butchyrestingface · 23/09/2026 17:10

Poster appears to be suggesting both children made mistakes in how they handled the situation and each has something to learn from the experience.

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True, just don't know what FAFO stands for 🤣

OP posts:

Butchyrestingface · 23/09/2026 17:10

Dancingwithmyselfoohooh · 23/09/2026 17:03

?

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Poster appears to be suggesting both children made mistakes in how they handled the situation and each has something to learn from the experience.

Original poster

Dancingwithmyselfoohooh · 23/09/2026 17:03

sothersthat · 23/09/2026 15:33

child a and b FAFO?

?

OP posts:

BobbleBear · 23/09/2026 16:04

Child B as he should have accepted that ‘No’ means ‘No’ and not kept going on at child A to reveal her secret.

Why should the girl child not be allowed some privacy and secrets from the boys?

This is where the ‘Be Kind’ bollocks and expecting women to always give way to men gets us.

That’s what I’d be very firmly pointing out to the other parent if they’re being awkward about it…

ToddlerFun1234 · 23/09/2026 15:59

Child B.

And I would encourage child A to stand up for themselves better earlier on.

KilkennyCats · 23/09/2026 15:54

CallItLoneliness · 23/09/2026 15:00

As someone who teaches, I can imagine that the teacher doesn't intervene. A lot of the time this sort of thing is viewed as individual annoying incidents, and the child who complains is blamed for being a complainer.

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Maybe you need to change your approach, going forward?!

KilkennyCats · 23/09/2026 15:52

CallItLoneliness · 23/09/2026 15:02

I have given this advice (albeit in Australia). My daughter told me it was terrible advice (she's probably right). I am a rotten mother 😂

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🙄

sothersthat · 23/09/2026 15:33

child a and b FAFO?

CallItLoneliness · 23/09/2026 15:02

Butchyrestingface · 23/09/2026 12:13

So far I like giving DD a whistle, and the stiff arm technique, but I bet both will be seen as precious and or disruptive. Any further suggestions?

I feel like I'd be tempted to teach her to say FUCK RIGHT OFF NOW, DOUCHEBAG, BEFORE I SCREAM.

Probably a good thing I don't have kids. I'd be a rotten mother.

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I have given this advice (albeit in Australia). My daughter told me it was terrible advice (she's probably right). I am a rotten mother 😂

CallItLoneliness · 23/09/2026 15:00

KilkennyCats · 23/09/2026 12:19

We only have Child A’s word for it (and her somewhat biased mother’s) that the teacher doesn’t intervene.
I can’t imagine it’s true.

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As someone who teaches, I can imagine that the teacher doesn't intervene. A lot of the time this sort of thing is viewed as individual annoying incidents, and the child who complains is blamed for being a complainer.

Arltan · 23/09/2026 12:57

It's a silly classroom incident that the teacher already dealt with. The other mum should be addressing her childs part in this instead of whatsapping you. She sounds unhinged. Block her and tell your kid to avoid hers.