Which child is wrong-er

It’s really obvious child A is your child!

B’s parent might have written:

Child A: Became quiet and withdrawn.
Child B: Didn’t understand what had happened and became quite anxious and wanted to help and rectify the situation.
Child A: Pushed B for no reason.
Child B: Was very hurt and upset so retaliated.

Just a childish misunderstanding. Both children equally innocent. Move on.

Wow, the mum called you? What on earth for?

I take it that it wasn't to apologise on behalf of her son?

She needs to tell her kid to respect other kids' boundaries and stop imposing himself where he's not wanted and it's not his business.

Obviously, your DD shouldn't have pushed either, but it sounds like she was being provoked while already upset.

But really, it's all so minor.

I would not be happy that a boy was badgering my daughter, questioning her, ignoring her when she asked him to stop, following her around, and then shoving her into a chair. He’s 8, not 3. He needs told sharpish that he’s not to behave like that to anyone, but particularly not to girls that are telling him to stop and leave them alone.

It would mean the teacher was aware.

Sorry OP but you’re the most wronger in this whole situation.
your language around your own child is so
biased you’ve made your mind up already, despite not being there or having an cult witness to verify, you’ve come to a forum to get validation.
if your kid is being harassed by another kid, get that addressed by the school but the situation you’ve described is, in more
neutral terms that your kid got wound up by someone asking them about their pencil case so they lashed out and the other kid retaliated so actually your kid was the instigator for the physical altercation.
its really hard, I get it, but sometimes you need to take the rose tinted specs off and realise that kids act out at times and you need to look at the bigger picture

Did you miss the bit where Child B (boy) never leaves Child A (girl) alone? He's constantly harassing her. No wonder Child A lost her rag with him. She's 7/8yrs old and already fed up with overbearing & unwanted male attention. Poor girl.

And taking matters into your own hands and acting with your fists guarantees that something will happen

Your child was in the right, right up until the point she decided to use her hands. She has to learn that is not the way. Sometimes people annoy us. You have to learn to tune out.

Fast forward 10 years and she is in a club or bar. Someone is irritating her - a poorly timed shove could land her with a criminal record.
She needs to learn NOW.

Child A is wrong. Child b whilst annoying was just being a kid. Child A got physical first so child b responded don’t want to be hurt keep your hands to yourself.

Then he goes and tells the teacher or another adult. No excuse for thumping and shoving.

I can't believe a mum text you about this 🙈 Kids have to figure this out. It sounds like normal kid stuff to me. That being said, children that age are old enough to know not to shove. Kid A can walk away next time.

But honestly it's not that deep.

I'd say A as they were the first to get physical.

Just a squabble. Tell them both we don’t push it’s not nice.

Who is " wronger"?
The parent giving this headspace. That's who.

Child A pushed first. Child B retaliated.

Whichever was mine (whether first pusher or second pusher) I would be more focused on preventing them pushing other kids than squabbling about blame with another parent.

Well in that case, I'd be making it clear to the mum that her son needs to be taught to respect other peoples boundaries. He harasses your child, then pushes your child hard and she has the audacity to call you unhappy with your DD? I'd be giving her your DD's version of events and that you are unhappy with her son's constant harassment of your DD.

Then I think you have to factor in that you only have one child's version of events. I'm assuming child A.

Overall though it sounds like a very minor incident, everyone can say sorry and move on.

If child A is your child then do some work on dealing with this kind of situation, work through what they could have done to avoid it/not escalate it. As annoying as Child B was, it was Child A that started the physical altercation.

It’s not something I’d be making a big deal of, or encouraging them to ruminate on. Regardless of which was my child, I’d talk through how they could have handled the situation better/differently, and leave it at that.

100%. Your child was most wrong despite how you've tried to word it otherwise

Then it's child A.

They're old enough to know not to push. However gentle it was.

As a primary teacher of many years, child A would have had the consequence in my classtoom and child B would have had a talk with me.

It was obvious your child was child A even before you clarified. Your tone about child A is completely different to Child B so your description is loaded to gain sympathy for child A