Which child is wrong-er

I feel for you OP, that little boy needs to learn he can't just go around annoying people. Your daughter needs to complain to the teacher every single time so they can't ignore his behaviour. Or if she can shout 'Leave me alone' to get some attention from nearby adults. Sounds like he is enjoying getting a rise out of her.

Why didn’t she walk off and sit somewhere else? That would be a normal reaction.

Trying to physically intimidate him out of what is presumably a seat available to anyone, is arrogant and deliberately aggressive behaviour.

Has it occurred to her or you that he winds her up because she reacts so predictably badly?

Child B and his mum both sound aggressive and your child sounds like she doesn't know how to stand up to him. What he did is clearly wrong and he needs to learn to control his behaviour and his temper. He is not entitled to know what your daughter is doing all the time and he needs to learn that no means no. When he is older he will find the same behaviour is seen in a very different light. I would steer your daughter to keep away from him and teach her how to stand up for herself.

And neither has Child B.

Exactly. Wow at what point does she get the message? Sadly at some point she will "nuge" the wrong person and learn. Shame she can't figure it out to avoid that but some only learn the hard way.

Haven't read entire thread but I'm assuming your child is A and you're ok with her pushing child B (albeit she was provoked) first?

Why isn't she speaking up? It seems that she's choosing to push others around instead of using her voice.

If he's annoying you, tell the teacher.

If he's annoying you, tell the teacher.

If he's annoying you, tell the teacher.

Why did you not drum this home with her after she pushed before?

Her behaviour in this incident is again not ok. She again pushed first. She doesn't seem to be learning, does she?

It sounds like a typical squabble between 7yos that doesn't need much analysis. I'd think the other parent was ridiculous for making this into a big thing. If my child came to me with this story I'd just tell them no one should be pushing each other but you also shouldn't be pestering someone. That would be the end of it.

She wouldn't presumably do anything to a horse because it was annoying her, as if she pissed it off enough, she'd end up on her back staring up at the sky wondering what just happened - a) what makes it OK to treat a boy like that and b) hasn't she learned that you don't start something when who/whatever you start it with is big enough to introduce you to some further cloudwatching?

THe terrible miscalculations by cms and the problems it causes have been covered by the bbc and a panorama program WRONG THREAD

So both are guilty of pushing again then!

Sorry but unless you mean they have specific seating plans (in a lunch hall) then he can't be in her seat. She could just walk away and choose somewhere else.

I would also be getting her to speak to staff.

No one can do anything about it if she doesn't speak up.

It drives me insane when I have been out on lunch duty and then get a parent complaint that something happened with their kid. We don't have eyes on every child, it's not possible. If they don't say at the time then we can't possibly resolve it or talk to the other child.

In the situation if I knew the boy kept following then I would be redirecting him. It also sounds like he is possibly ND and therefore doesn't understand why it's an issue. He may just want to play and sees your DD as rude for not including him. This is why if the staff are aware they can help break down the situation better.

If your DD keeps pushing back she will also face the punishment (in our school missing lunch) as each time she is being physical first and needs to learn that is not the solution.

She nudged, he pushed…. Of course 🙄
She’s clearly learnt nothing about keeping her hands to herself, why don’t you try teaching her again?

Well this made me chuckle! I wasn't assuming - you will note from my post that it was an 'if this... or if that.... ' type response. I wasn't saying it would definitely happen, just that it might.

You seem surprisingly sure it's 'vanishingly unlikely', but what do you think is usually behind people surmising possible scenarios? Quite often, it's personal experience, of hearing or reading about the experience of others. Here I speak from personal experience of some teachers' responses to my child, friends' children and also myself (quite some years ago, now, granted).

It's not the ideal response from a teacher, but not at all unheard of.

I think it can be easy to get too over-involved OP.

What is her "normal place" anyway, and why is it hers?

ETA if it has her name on it, she could have dealt with it that way: you need to move, this seat is where I have been asked to sit.

If it is just her choice, I don't think she has any real right to enforce it anyway.

These are tussles children need to learn to navigate.

Maybe briefly mention to teacher and mention other parent has started contacting you too - expect teacher will try and separate them, to avoid getting pulled into something

I don’t think you would be as bothered if his parent hadn’t started direct,y messaging you

Oh, so she just nudged while he did a big push? Weird how you like to frame it. Your daughter clearly learnt nothing - still using violence to deal with an annoyance.

Why would you assume such a thing? It’s vanishingly unlikely.

😂

Most teachers would speak to the child about it, so yes, she should put her hand up and speak to an adult. Pushing someone is not acceptable.

If the teacher tells child B to back off, all well and good. If it's the type of teacher to tell child A off for 'telling tales', then child A isn't going to raise her hand and ask teacher for assistance after the first time of being cut down.

She pushed the attacker first.

Very simple, she tells an adult. She puts her hand up/goes to the TA or teacher and asks them to sort the situation. I've double checked the op's posts and the daughter didn't do this. The whole situation would probably have been avoided if she had as the other child would likely have been told to go and sit down/move away etc.

I agree, but if you could explain what would be the next step to OP that would be helpful. Perhaps something her DD hasn't already tried.