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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

To share this gem about the menopause with you all!

178 replies

PyongyangKipperbang · 22/09/2026 19:44

Taken from a book I found today in a charity shop. So much to say that its hard to know where to start!

The Radio Doctor's Dictionary of Health by Charles Hill, published in 1952.

There may or many not be seven stages of man. There are certainly three phases in the life of a woman. The first is the phase of childhood which passes with the physical and mental changes occurring at puberty into the second or middle phase of womanhood.
The third phase begins, usually between the ages of forty and forty-five, with the so-called menopause or change of life. Puberty, which may begin at the age of twelve or thirteen, come on with amazing quickness. The menopause on the other hand, develops slowly and deliberately. It marks the end of menstruation which first becomes irregular and later disappears. The change of life completed, there can no longer be childbearing.
The menopause is marked by both mental and physical changes. The warmth of physical feelings gives way to the calmness of serene affection, and quite often to a wider interest in the affairs of the world. The change may take one or two years, varying in length in different people. The reproductive organs, no longer functioning, become smaller. There may be symptoms which for a while unpleasant. For example, there may be sweating and giddiness, heats or flushes. These sensations may come on without warning. For most women, this is all that happens. Occasionally, however, there may be trying headaches and uneasy sensations, particularly in the breasts. At this time some women begin to put on weight. Much more rarely there are nervous troubles, particularly amongst those whose days are too leisured.
What can be done? For the most part, nothing need be done. It is best, though this is not always easy, to ignore what is happening and to carry on a normal life. The sympathy of others is no good. Giving in is a mistake. The less notice is taken of the change of life, the more quickly it seems to pass.
It helps to cut down diet, although nowadays our rations do that for us. Alcohol affords no relief. Indeed, it may make matters worse rather than better. The change of life, it must be remembered, is a normal, natural thing. It is not an illness or the beginning of an illness. It's a milestone, not a millstone.
The change may bring with it a release of energy, a need for activity in many new directions. Occasionally it makes a woman appear a little too managing, because she is filled with a desire to reform the lives of other. But most women suffer little or nothing. Eighty-five out of every hundred women pass through the menopause without being troubled by it. This is the occasion for an important warning. If the periods, having stopped, should appear to start again, a doctor should always be consulted,. There may be something wrong.

The third phase of life is sometimes the richest phase, the one in which to find tranquillity, and a full peaceful happiness.

OP posts:
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AbraandCal · Today 08:40

My mother was the type of woman who couldn't talk about periods, the menopause or mental health. She suffered from anxiety all her life and started drinking heavily in her 50s and died quite young. She always said that my grandmother went insane around the age of 50.
I'm in my 50s now and having a nightmare with really heavy periods. I've just had a new mirena fitted and been on a high dose progesterone.
I'd love to know if my mother and grandmother went through something similar. The past few years have been a struggle for me but I have a good gynaecologist, my work is sympathetic and I can talk about what's happening. I can't imagine how women coped in the past.

Bunny44 · Today 08:40

Dabralor · 22/09/2026 19:52

See, this is interesting.
At that time, it may have been that women had children earlier, so by this point would have flown.
Parents may not have survived that long or needed such complex care.
There wouldn’t have been full time careers to navigate or 18,368 apps to navigate and keep on top of.

Maybe life would have been a little slower for some women?
I do wonder if living in the 2020s and navigating menopause now is particularly complex and demanding.

Good point. A lot of women are having children in their 40s now so may have small children while experiencing menopause.

SevenYellowHammers · Today 08:18

6namechange3 · 22/09/2026 19:49

There are actually many parts of this I really like!

Same!

ThePoliteLion · Today 08:08

Thank you OP for sharing this gem. I
was listening to Kathy Lett being interviewed on the radio the other day. She described the menopause as the interval between act 1 and act 2 of a woman’s life. I like this analogy.

Soldierwam · Today 07:51

I’m menopausal and I think it’s spot on. I also think the “little too managing” line very true. So many of my menopausal friends have become very controlling and suddenly political.

Motheranddaughter · 25/09/2026 16:42

AuntieBiotics · 24/09/2026 10:30

Mine was the same. Tampons were for "married ladies".

Mum was a bit odd about the ideas of using tampons but. I didn’t bother asking her permission I just bought some in Boots

Theeyeballsinthesky · 24/09/2026 20:14

ForeverAndEverCheese · 24/09/2026 18:15

I recently learnt that your labia minora disappear! What fresh hell is this?

Yep - caused by lack of estrogen. Makes sex impossibly painful

vagifem or estradiol cream will help sort it

Speckly · 24/09/2026 18:38

“more comfortably upholstered sitting-down apparatus”

Ah yes, I appear to have this problem 🤔🤣

ForeverAndEverCheese · 24/09/2026 18:15

I recently learnt that your labia minora disappear! What fresh hell is this?

Usernameinabeyance · 24/09/2026 12:38

TorroFerney · 24/09/2026 12:23

I knew it, I am „too leisured“ all makes sense now!

The prequel to weaponised incompetence was men saying we'd have a better menopause if only we'd stop all this lounging around.

TorroFerney · 24/09/2026 12:23

I knew it, I am „too leisured“ all makes sense now!

ProsyFossil · 24/09/2026 12:21

Highlighta · 24/09/2026 07:11

My mum is in her 80s and we discussed menopause not too long ago.

It was seemingly not an open to talk about topic as she she referred to menopause as 'oh that' 😂

So unless she has forgotten the worst of it, all that happened was one day, the 'you know' stopped and that was that.

I never got the birds and the bees talk either. The day I started my first period at age 14! I really wasn't all that prepared. I just got given a packet of pads and told absolutely not when I asked about tampons.

Then when I was 17 I got a new baby brother. So obviously in her mid 40s the 'you knows' were full steam ahead.

So now I'm wondering if giving birth at a later age perhaps helps with menopause symptoms.

And the topics were clearly not an open one to talk about as my mum still can't say the words menopause or periods.

Ha, the nearest my mum came to discussing anything period-related would be to say, "Reproductive or digestive, pet?" if I said I had a stomach ache.

HelenaWaiting · 24/09/2026 10:37

Breezed through the menopause. I did wonder at the time what all the fuss was about (don't shout at me, I know now that I'm in the minority). Can't drink anymore though. At all. I used to be a proper little ligger but the four day hangovers put a stop to that.

AuntieBiotics · 24/09/2026 10:30

justasking111 · 24/09/2026 09:13

My mother said no to tampons because virgins couldn't use them and nice women didn't. 😁

My dad taught me the facts of life in his own poetic way. We never discussed menopause.

Mine was the same. Tampons were for "married ladies".

justasking111 · 24/09/2026 09:13

My mother said no to tampons because virgins couldn't use them and nice women didn't. 😁

My dad taught me the facts of life in his own poetic way. We never discussed menopause.

Highlighta · 24/09/2026 07:11

My mum is in her 80s and we discussed menopause not too long ago.

It was seemingly not an open to talk about topic as she she referred to menopause as 'oh that' 😂

So unless she has forgotten the worst of it, all that happened was one day, the 'you know' stopped and that was that.

I never got the birds and the bees talk either. The day I started my first period at age 14! I really wasn't all that prepared. I just got given a packet of pads and told absolutely not when I asked about tampons.

Then when I was 17 I got a new baby brother. So obviously in her mid 40s the 'you knows' were full steam ahead.

So now I'm wondering if giving birth at a later age perhaps helps with menopause symptoms.

And the topics were clearly not an open one to talk about as my mum still can't say the words menopause or periods.

AllGoodNamesRGone · 24/09/2026 06:36

😂 There needs to be a laughing emoji icon.
Haven't laughed liked that in a long time.
This must have been written many decades ago, right?
Although, I do fear this is the attitude of many men, and women of an age who went through it years ago (not all, but most).

PyongyangKipperbang · 24/09/2026 01:13

justasking111 · 23/09/2026 22:06

I had my third child at 45 periods stopped at 56. But I did get awful flooding for a couple of years. I gave up caffeine and lots of lovely spicy foods, fatty foods, it's all quite boring. But I didn't get brain fog and hot flashes were and still are a night time event. I don't need central heating until it gets really cold.

I have had six children and my sister had none. We both suffered worse than our mother. So....I personally think that it is down to luck more than anything.

OP posts:
SemiRetiredLoveGoddeess · 23/09/2026 22:47

Old fashioned and outmoded.
What else is new?

justasking111 · 23/09/2026 22:06

Jacobolordy · 23/09/2026 09:50

Wonder if it's true what a pp said about symptoms of menopause being easier with more pregnancies/ breastfeeding?

Might be that women are struggling more now as have generally had fewer pregnancies? As well as juggling kids/ careers/ parents etc.

I had my third child at 45 periods stopped at 56. But I did get awful flooding for a couple of years. I gave up caffeine and lots of lovely spicy foods, fatty foods, it's all quite boring. But I didn't get brain fog and hot flashes were and still are a night time event. I don't need central heating until it gets really cold.

Mummyoflittledragon · 23/09/2026 21:58

Am loving what you’ve written so far. And can imagine it would have caused quite a stir back then. I’m about your age. I didn’t get a book or a talking to. Whatever I learned was from school. Not much. My mother bought me one of those elasticated belts and gave me the doorstep pads with the loops. Ffs. My friend took me to Superdrug and got me to buy some stick on ones. I found out about tampons later.

GalaDinner · 23/09/2026 21:49

IsItWickedNotToCare · 22/09/2026 20:46

The thing about alcohol making things worse is correct, unfortunately. Another pleasure in life taken away due to the "change"....😭

Naaahhh.

PyongyangKipperbang · 23/09/2026 21:24

Londonmummy66 · 23/09/2026 19:11

Are we sisters? My prep for periods was the Ladybird book of your body and it was made very clear to me that I was not allowed tampons. I did access them at Guide camp, thought they were great and made such a fuss I did eventually get them ( but had to buy them myself out of my pocket money).

If it wasnt for the fact that my sister is childless, I would be wondering!

OP posts:
NullaEffugium · 23/09/2026 21:14

6namechange3 · 22/09/2026 19:49

There are actually many parts of this I really like!

Me too. I liked the bit about it being a milestone not a millstone

AInightingale · 23/09/2026 21:12

Londonmummy66 · 23/09/2026 19:11

Are we sisters? My prep for periods was the Ladybird book of your body and it was made very clear to me that I was not allowed tampons. I did access them at Guide camp, thought they were great and made such a fuss I did eventually get them ( but had to buy them myself out of my pocket money).

My mother didn't object to tampons because she was prudish about girls using them (well, maybe she was a little bit) but because she thought they were dangerous. This would have been the 80s not long after the scare about the 'Rely' tampons in the US which caused quite a few cases of TSS (they were made of some terrible plastic material or something). Although I used them, I remember being a bit afraid of them too for the first couple of years.

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