Am I a WhatsApp psychopath?

Definitely you are not there to assuage other peoples anxieties! I honestly can’t think of many people I know who would think like this - maybe I’m old and oblivious, probably, but other peoples anxieties or entitlement are for them to worry about.

I think you’ve misunderstood.

I think for people you communicate with a lot, you get to understand what their communication style is like and set your expectations accordingly.

If DD reads a message and hasn't replied with an emoji within about a minute I start worrying.
If DS reads a message and actually does reply, I start worrying.

If I was OP's friend I would understand his style of WhatsApp usage (which is similar to OP's) and react accordingly.

If you text me youll ring if ive read it and not replied

But if I text you, youll only reply if you deem it time sensitive or otherwise ignore me

Yes that double standard would drive me up the wall. Im team wife

I tend to reply, takes a few seconds really. No biggie. If I have time to read it, I have time to reply and certainly with some people I'd rather be polite to them.

Sounds completely normal to me. I have the blue ticks / last online / time I read a message stuff turned off though precisely because I want to read the message, will reply then if it’s time critical / someone needs a response etc., but if it’s just general chit chat I’ll reply later when convenient. Sometimes this may be a few days later (as in particular I have one particular friend who the second I reply to her 12 messages, instantly replies back to me with 12 more, all just random chit chat stuff - if I always replied to her straight away we’d be watsapp chatting all day long and I would never get anything done. Maybe I’m a psychopath then according to your DW, but I prefer to use text/watsapp to communicate brief logistic type info (and also there’s my DM’s messages, she treats watsapp like email and every message is an essay - again, I don’t have time to always reply to these there and then).

Turning the WiFi off is extreme! It would be more faff than just replying or sending a thumbs up.

I turned my blue ticks and last seen off as soon as it became a thing and I'm early 30s. I don't want people having that much insight into my life. I don't take it personally if someone hasnt replied to my messages, I just assume they're busy. If it's urgent, I'll call them.

I just dont understand why people feel like they're owed someones time, just because that person has read their message

I am a woman who grew up with technology and I do the same as the OP. I’ll reply to non-urgent messages when it’s convenient for me and not a moment sooner.

I have blue ticks on, because I don't care if people know I've read the message. I work on the assumption that they know I'll reply when I get a chance or want to continue the conversation.
Turning the WiFi off to check the message is absolutely bonkers 😂

Agreed.

I dont have blue ticks on, I try to respond in good time if its worth responding to, I ignore if its not important.

If I have something important to sort out I always call. Never text or WhatsApp.

I do what the OP does. Sometimes i like to ruminate on how to reply. Sometimes I’m too busy. Sometimes I just don’t want to reply. I think this is much more healthy than feeling you have to respond to every message straight away. Why should I be a space to my phone/messages?

Some replies need a lot more that a simple one.
Some people send essays and want one in return.

See honestly I think this is quite wimpy. Can you really not reply to a message in the presence of your toddler or at work? How much brainpower/ arm power do you need to
summon to tap out replies? I can do them at the same time as almost anything (apart from a shower) that’s 2026

This is really odd to me. All this angst about “being left on read”…why would you assume someone’s ignoring you instead of assuming they are busy and will respond when they can? I really don’t get it…is it lack of self-confidence? And before you ask, I grew up with the internet and all. I’m also a woman. I respond when I’m able to and pretty much deal with messages in the same way OP does. That’s really the normal way of communicating in my circle, it’s really not unusual.

Yep, I see a notification and turn my wifi off. I can read the message without it alerting the sender that I have read it.
But I should not feel the need to do that to pander to someone else's anxieties about being left on read.

Just reading that pissed me off 😂

You seem WAY more uptight about sent messages and expecting replies than you are about responding yourself.

Turning my blue ticks off immediately in case someone I know is this entitled about my time and expectant of my response.

I just cannot!

I don't require a response to every message. It might be for general info but not a conversation. I don't always respond to other people's messages unless it's making arrangements particularly on group chats .

Wow I’ve been educated on the ‘left on read’ thing. Also mid forties and female, and ops description is exactly how I treat WhatsApp. I’m not replying when theres more urgent real life stuff to deal with! Who is so arrogant as to expect that?! As for ‘I don’t read if I can’t reply’ - that is some self restraint, as if I see messages, I want to check them to see if there’s anything interesting there.

Just read it in the notification, then open it properly when you have time to reply. That's what I do, and it reminds me I've got outstanding messages to reply to.

I am a woman and have exactly the same approach as OP. It's not gender-specific. If I don't open a message, I have no idea whether it is something urgent or not. If it isn't, then I will reply in due course.
I am not really that old. Well, I don't know how old your dad is though.
The thing is, a lot of young people seem to think that they are entitled to everyone's time and immediate attention. So what if you are ignored for a couple of hours? It's hardly life-changing. The person will get back to you when it is convenient for them and there is absolutely nothing wrong with that.
99.9% of messages are not urgent and there isn't much of a difference between seeing you have a message and checking it 5 hours later or checking in immediately, realising it can wait and replying in 5 hours. The outcome is exactly the same!

Last year I learned about pinning messages. Game changer! So now if I don't want/have time to reply when I've read the msg I pin it for later