Am I a WhatsApp psychopath?

The other person might not know you've sent a message if they have all notifications turned off like me. Every so often I choose to look at my phone in case I have a message.

If it's that important they can phone me 🙂

Aired 😂
My children say that too.
I read my WhatsApp messages in preview so no one can see I've read them 😏

If you havent been online or checked your phone fair enough but turning wifi off to look at a message on airplane mode does not work. It might not show as blue ticks but if you highlight the message and then click the three dots on the top right of it and go to info it tells you if it has been read or not. People turn phone data off and think they are reading a message on airplane mode so the sender won't know but they can if they do that.

YABU to be irritated by people who have blue ticks turned off, and people like you are usually the reason we have them turned off.

The time and capacity needed to read a message is different from the time and capacity needed to reply; you don't need to know when I saw it unless you're actively measuring how long it takes me to reply - in which case, I'm probably not interested in chatting to you.

Can you explain what yoh mean @Brummyhelpplease? If you haven’t been online since you read the message I’m not sure how the sender could know ? And what do you mean by the arrow?

Turning the wifi off to read a message is actually futile because if a person really wanted to know if the message was read or not even on airplane mode you just to to the message, the arrow and info will tell you if it has been read.

Even easier if you have it on laptop or pc. That is the only place I use it to be honest. I type super quick and text super slow.

Some of us have friends and relatives abroad that we like to communicate to. Like parents for example, or siblings. WhatsApp is free for calls and texts.

What? Typing a WA is literally same as tying a text 🤯

I think your approach to messages sounds perfectly standard/ ordinary. It doesn’t sound particularly rude to me.

I guess there is a thing these days about not leaving people “on read”. Which is a bit silly as it’s quite common to have time to read a message, but once you’ve read it realise you don’t have time to reply properly at that moment (so it might need a bit of thought).

The worst thing I have is with a friend who is helping me to (very slowly!) learn what happens to be her language - so I will often be able to read her message but then not have the time to construct a reply in another language, but I want to read it in case it’s important.

Then you end up doing those “message gymnastics) where you try to read the message without opening it so you don’t leave someone “on read”.

I don’t think I’m bad at getting back to people overall though! I don’t want to turn off the blue ticks as it’s nice to know if other people have seen my messages! I don’t worry if friends etc don’t get back to me immediately as I know that like me they generally have jobs, teenagers, lives in general etc to worry about!

Or you could try reading all the OP posts before giving your "advice."

Am I the only person who has never used Whats App? I don’t see the point when you can just send a text message

‘What are you guys planning for Xmas?’ - absolutely I’ll leave that until I have the mental energy to compose an answer dependent on the person.

’what time are you home?’ - I don’t understand how someone has the time to see a notification, go into WhatsApp, go to my thread, read a message but somehow doesn’t have the time to reply ‘7’

Voice notes are the work of the devil.

If it was my partner i would reply as soon as possible.

Same. Feels much more rude to me to leave me unread than to leave me on read. I simply don’t get it! Not even being bothered to read my message really upsets me! But reply when you can mate crack on with your life….

Why would you do this???

I have the opposite reaction which is I cant help but find it quite rude when I'm left on grey ticks - that the other person can see I've sent a message but is apparently completely disinterested in what I might be messaging them about! I'd rather see you'd read my message.... and I dont expect people to reply straight away so not bothered by being left on blue

I am so glad that WhatsApp messaging etiquette is of no concern in my life 😅

I have a friend I message on WhatsApp, it’s all just chit chat so not time sensitive, but he doesn’t read my message until he’s ready to reply, sometimes a week later! I find this pretty irritating almost to the point I’m not sure if I want to keep in touch for much longer!

Yeah most blokes aren't big on texting tbh. Half of me wishes my DH texted me more, but every bloke who was a big texter was also a bit weird, so I'm ok with him not replying and not being weird.

You cant though. The same way if you're having coffee with a friend you dont start whatsapping someone else half way through the conversation. If you're playing with your child they should really have your full attention and the phone would be away. Partly to teach them about screen time and healthy boundaries, partly so they feel that play time is important enough to you.

I deliberately don't open messages I don't want to reply to straight away- that way the sender doesn't know that you have seen them and thinks you are just busy. You can read the bulk of messages on your notifications on your phone without opening them.

But you don’t ‘get a following’ on MN?

Obsession with blue ticks is crazy imo. They'll reply when they can, why do you need to know if they've read it? You can assume that unless their phone is stolen they've received it. A friend and I have a rule that works so well for us - WhatsApp for random chit chat that doesn't matter if you take a week to reply to, texts for things that actually need a reply (arranging meet ups etc) and then phone call for anything emotional/big news. That way the expectations for each medium are clear and it's way more relaxed.