Am I a WhatsApp psychopath?

I’m a v similar age to you (have recently ticked over into the next decade but we are v close in age). So I think older people more likely to reply when they want. I just don’t understand any angst about it at all. I have been sent a message to read. Like a letter ! I will read it and reply if/ when I’m ready! I don’t try and peer through the envelope at the contents! I honestly don’t care if people can see I’ve read it. And I’ve I have messaged someone I’m pleased to see they have taken the time to read it and more offended if they can’t be bothered! When they reply is irrelevant to me.

If I leave someone on read I just own it. Turning off all the stuff just gives in to the silliness of it

Because people are insecure about being left on read. There have even been threads about it on here.
There is the expectation that if you have read their message, you respond straight away... and you are the rude one if you don't.

From experience of some people, it's because they would get the following;

Hi
Hi
Hor ru
?
Wat u doin
Im havin my tea
why ru ignoring me
Hello?

Pls call
Got some news
U OK?
Babe?

Pick up
Why arent u answering
You got yr fancy man with u
I know y cheating
Just be honest
Im not mad

CALL ME
NOW

Hi babe, wat y doin
U alrite
Picl up

I'm coming round

Open the door
I know ur in there
I can see u

Thats a nice top ur wearinf
PICL IP

Im at beachy head and wanted to say no hard feelings and good luck with your boygriend. goodbye.

All in the space of about 90 minutes between 1.20am and dawn.

The people that turn off ticks etc seem really insecure to me for some reason. Why do you care if you’ve blue ticked something? Answer when you want regardless. Or are you obsessed with watching someone else’s blue ticks and have turned them off to protect yourself? Both weird.

Out of interest, if it's a generation thing, I wondered what generation you are if you don't mind me asking? I do the same as this commenter, I leave it unread so I can answer later as otherwise I'll forget - I'm 48, with perimenopause my memory isn't as good. Just wondering if you mean that younger or older people are more likely to read a message quicker.

I just honestly don’t know why it feels rude! Not bothering to read my message for ages feels far more rude to me. I do think it’s a generation thing.

Or even better,
If its urgent then phone them.

I wouldn't read a message just before going on a long drive, or getting on an airplane, about to start work where phones aren't allowed, or somewhere where there's not going to be a signal, etc.

..as that would leave the message on read, but there wouldn't be a reply for what could be several hours.

I just read the preview if I’m not going to reply. I’d never leave someone on read, it feels so rude. I’d at least tell them that I’ll properly reply later (and then set myself a reminder because my brain is a sieve).

I didn't know about that! I have ADHD and if I can't reply immediately I forget it's been sent. I'll look into this. For this reason I usually just look at notifications onscreen, and don't open the message until I'm free.

I think you list was very well reasoned and thought out. I would probably make a similar list.

People of different age groups will respond differently with different time frames and protocols. Depending on when they were brought up.

Teenagers need instant gratification and speed of light replies or they will die!

I would completely ignore your husband and let him do his own thing. Just do the best thing that suits you and sod everybody else.

Personally, I tend not to read messages until I have time to reply, or I’ll tell them that I’ll mark it as unread again and reply later. People can wait days, even weeks! 😂 I don’t monitor ticks particularly, but they can be useful.

I do wonder if it is also a generation thing.
I grew up pre-internet and mobile phones. It was landlines and letters in the post.

How do you know when you are ready to reply if you haven’t read it? If someone wants to be
offended over something so silly that’s up to them. I will read at my convenience and also reply at my convenience. I expect them to read and reply at their convenience.

If it is urgent, then call.

I do it because of the reasons I said in my other posts. People sending essays and wanting every point addressed and a reply within 30 seconds.
I have better things to be doing than be tied to my phone. I have it for my convenience, not for that of others.

This is how I see it:

If you read a message, and the recipient knows you've read it, (i.e. blue tick is on), then you should reply, otherwise it is seen as rude.

If you don't want to reply (for whatever reason), then don't read it.

Only read a message, when you're ready to reply.

If it's something urgent, then they would call.

So I wouldn't worry about leaving messages unread.

Besides, 9 time out of 10, I find, generally when people message you, it's because they want something for their benefit/convenience, not yours.

Well I didn't know you could even turn off blue ticks!
So thanks for that x

Its news to me that you can blue tick it. I don't take any steps to blue tick anything. Doesn't it just happen automatically?

Not unreasonable BTW. Quite sane, in fact.

This is so bizarre to me. Often I’ll need to read a message and then take some action, like check a diary if it’s an invite, or think about the best way to respond to a message.

So your ‘being left on read’ is my ‘sensibly taking my time so I send the reply that is needed’. The vast majority of WhatsApp messages I receive are not time sensitive (if they are I’ll reply immediately if I can) so ‘being left on read’ is really not an issue.

The present and what you're doing is priority, not rushing to read and answer every message. We all know if a real emergency then it will be a call.

The time comes to read, quick reply, emoji confirmation.

It shouldn't be a case of expecting messages to be a 24/7 earpiece in your life, especially when busy with work/DC/having a bloody shower!

Amongst us all we know what to expect; the trivial ones, quick reply, the meaningful ones which require a sit down and concentration.

Personally, when it's a few exchanges then we all know it's a good time to do this, but nonreply simply means I'm busy living my life, with people so don't want to be rude, mutually know we need to be in a got time to respect and think about what I'm going to say.

And that is why men don;t have the same martyring syndrome/ people pleasing tendencies as women. I used to be like your wife - are you not going to reply to that/ have you replied. as if my way was right - nope my way was people pleasing, not wanting to be in trouble etc etc.
The other related one is when say someone cocks up your order and says sorry and I'd be saying it's ok don't worry , doesn't matter and trying to make sure they didn't feel bad about their cock up, ignoring my discomfort - just accept the apology don't be a dick of course but don't fawn.

It could be worse. I do have blue ticks turned on, but quite often just read the message in in the notification itself, rather than going into Whatsapp itself, especially if its not something that needs a reply.

As a result, Whatsapp doesn't think I've read the message, so doesn't show the blue ticks to the other person.

Drives DP absolutely up the wall.

I’m a WhatsApp psychopath too!

This is my teens. But if I ask them to ring to text me to let me know they have arrived somewhere or are on the train then I get attitude. 🙄