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AIBU?

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Original poster

AIBU to not let DS go to the sleepover?

21 replies

trybest · 22/09/2026 18:23

DS is nearly 12 and was supposed to be having a sleepover at a friend's on Saturday. His friend is 12 too. Around lunchtime his mum rang me and said her ds had got into trouble, so both boys would have to go to bed at 8pm. ?!?!
She also asked if I could pick DS up a bit earlier the next morning. I said I'd have a chat with DS and get back to her.
Ds was just as surprised as I was..! I can't really put my finger on why, but the whole thing just gave me an odd feeling. I've only met his mum twice, and only very briefly, so I don't really know her or the family at all. In the end I messaged her and said Ds had come down with something and we'd have to rearrange. Probably a bit cowardly, but I didn't really know what else to say without making things awkward.

AIBU for pulling out?

Also, is 8pm not really early for a Year 7?! I know it’s her house, her rules... but it was meant to be a sleepover with friends after all.

OP posts:
Whisperwaves · 22/09/2026 18:25

I wouldn't have sent my DS either.

Doctordoolittle · 22/09/2026 18:26

I’d have told the truth about why but I wouldn’t have sent him either. Would he even have wanted to go?

A more ‘normal’ punishment would have been for her to cancel the sleepover!

SunshineAndFizz · 22/09/2026 18:27

Yeah strange to punish him and still expect his friend to come over and punish him too. Hard pass thanks.

WhoPaintedMyRosesRed · 22/09/2026 18:28

That’s odd. I suppose she didn’t want to cancel but had to punish her child so came up with a really shitty solution. No, I wouldn’t have sent my kid there to also receive the punishment.

When giving consequences to actions you don’t involve others children.

Whisperwaves · 22/09/2026 18:30

She might have felt bad for letting down your DS if she cancelled the sleepover altogether but to expect him to go to bed at 8 is very odd.

Original poster
trybest · 22/09/2026 18:31

Doctordoolittle · 22/09/2026 18:26

I’d have told the truth about why but I wouldn’t have sent him either. Would he even have wanted to go?

A more ‘normal’ punishment would have been for her to cancel the sleepover!

Exactly either let him have his mate over as normal or just cancel the sleepover. The whole 8pm thing just seems a bit daft to me...ds thought it was weird too, but he would’ve gone.

OP posts:
PermanentlyExhaustedPigeonZZZ · 22/09/2026 18:31

I mean I would have probably suggested it would make more sense to pick him up at 7.30 rather than fake illness but it's definitely weird.

Netcurtainnelly · 22/09/2026 18:32

trybest · 22/09/2026 18:23

DS is nearly 12 and was supposed to be having a sleepover at a friend's on Saturday. His friend is 12 too. Around lunchtime his mum rang me and said her ds had got into trouble, so both boys would have to go to bed at 8pm. ?!?!
She also asked if I could pick DS up a bit earlier the next morning. I said I'd have a chat with DS and get back to her.
Ds was just as surprised as I was..! I can't really put my finger on why, but the whole thing just gave me an odd feeling. I've only met his mum twice, and only very briefly, so I don't really know her or the family at all. In the end I messaged her and said Ds had come down with something and we'd have to rearrange. Probably a bit cowardly, but I didn't really know what else to say without making things awkward.

AIBU for pulling out?

Also, is 8pm not really early for a Year 7?! I know it’s her house, her rules... but it was meant to be a sleepover with friends after all.

She would have done better to call it off. They would never have slept anyway?

Is this real?

Lomonald · 22/09/2026 18:32

Her son was punished for whatever, i don't know why she thought it was appropriate to include your son, the logical thing to do was cancel some parents are totally batshit.

Original poster
trybest · 22/09/2026 18:34

Netcurtainnelly · 22/09/2026 18:32

She would have done better to call it off. They would never have slept anyway?

Is this real?

Show quote history

It is

OP posts:
fashionqueen0123 · 22/09/2026 18:34

Maybe just say I’ll collect him at 8. Pointless to sleep round

Greenfinch7 · 22/09/2026 18:38

Any time parents do something to punish their kid which also punishes another kid I see this a a sign something is wrong with their parenting. The parent is setting a (terrible) example by hurting an unrelated kid just because it suits their agenda. Cancelling a sleepover is also inconsiderate, not just to the visiting child, but potentially to the family of the child who might have made plans based on the child's absence.

beaglescurleduplikebagels · 22/09/2026 18:38

YANBU for not letting him go but YABU for making up a story about him being unwell.

Original poster
trybest · 22/09/2026 18:39

fashionqueen0123 · 22/09/2026 18:34

Maybe just say I’ll collect him at 8. Pointless to sleep round

Ds was meant to go over at 5.30, so if I’d picked him up at 8 he wouldn’t even have been there three hours. Didn’t really seem worth it.

OP posts:
Ydynigt · 22/09/2026 18:48

No that mum definitely giving shades of batty, well avoided!

Topseyt123 · 22/09/2026 18:57

I'd ask her why she doesn't just cancel or postpone the sleepover. Those would be the logical courses of action.

Floppyearedlab · 22/09/2026 18:59

You did the right thing. Too bad if she can’t think up age appropriate punishments. Sending a kid to bed early is what you do to a 6 year old!

Campanulaceae · 22/09/2026 19:00

By "go to bed" does she mean "go upstairs"?

My 2 year old goes to bed at 8pm 😆

Original poster
trybest · 22/09/2026 19:08

Campanulaceae · 22/09/2026 19:00

By "go to bed" does she mean "go upstairs"?

My 2 year old goes to bed at 8pm 😆

Lights out. I think it’s ridiculously early too. Mine are often up till midnight on Saturdays. So what?😅 They can just sleep in the next day.

OP posts:
clapalongnow · 22/09/2026 19:30

She wanted you to cancel so she could lay it on to her son she that not only has he upset her with his behaviour but she annoyed you as well.

I definitely wouldn’t have lied though I would have just said ‘let’s arrange it another time, my DS hadn’t done anything wrong so won’t be getting sent to bed early’

Original poster
trybest · 22/09/2026 19:42

clapalongnow · 22/09/2026 19:30

She wanted you to cancel so she could lay it on to her son she that not only has he upset her with his behaviour but she annoyed you as well.

I definitely wouldn’t have lied though I would have just said ‘let’s arrange it another time, my DS hadn’t done anything wrong so won’t be getting sent to bed early’

Edited

That actually makes sense, I didn’t think of that.

OP posts:
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