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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Yo ask what helped with afrid?

33 replies

Newchangee · 22/09/2026 18:12

My 11 year old daughter has AFRID which is basically an eating problem where she only eats certain foods and gets upset even looking at foods not on her safe list. I am fed up of the NHS. They have done nothing to help her, they keep asking for forms and then do nothing. The mental health practitioner has told me he can tell she has ADHD and Austism but does nothing to address her eating. I’m fed up.

I saw on social media a hypnotherapist who specialises in this but I’m worried as DH is saying no as it will mess her up, I’m so lost. Her life is already impacted as she doesn’t get invited to things as she will get upset seeing certain foods (pizza, ketchup, any sauce of any kind). She eats only plain pasta, plain rice, fridge raiders, crisps and biscuits. Sometimes toast with tiny bit of butter.

OP posts:
CrazyCatLady2026 · 22/09/2026 18:13

There isn't really anything you can do. Its a sensory thing so you would need occupational therapy. But really afrid is afrid. There's no magic wand.

Motomum23 · 22/09/2026 18:17

Does she get upset seeing it or just if its suggested that she eats it?? (Genuine question). My DS has AFRID - his diet is chicken goujons, a certain brand of chips, fridge raiders and white rice/plain pasta.
Once a week I pop something different on his plate with the option to eat it or leave it... probably once every six months he might give something unusual a taste or a lick - mostly it doesn't help but I cant stress over it. He is otherwise healthy.

ThePlatypusAlwaysTriumphs · 22/09/2026 18:18

My dd is 21 and has had afrid since a small child. I tried not to sweat it, and allowed her control over her eating, more as she got older. She has slowly become more adventurous as time goes on, but some foods/ situations are still unsafe. Her biggest fear is fruit, it became a phobia after nursery tried to force her to eat it- until then she would eat dried fruit and fruit juice. Now she has to leave a room if someone has a banana. So trying to force it definitely makes it worse!

Isittimeformynapyet · 22/09/2026 18:44

I think it's called ARFID rather than AFRID.

Hollowvoice · 22/09/2026 18:47

There really isn't anything to do except give the safe food and embrace anything they do decide they want to try

HollyhocksandPeons · 22/09/2026 18:49

Nothing you can do.

Shouldbedoing · 22/09/2026 18:56

An ARFID support group on FB has been helpful in understanding and supporting my DC.
BTW DC had hypnotherapy at age 8 - the youngest recommended age. It worked for a week! Things got worse but with maturity, now aged 16, DC is open to trying things occasionally.
No pressure is the key.

24Dogcuddler · 22/09/2026 18:58

Our daughter was seen by the Birmingham Food Refusal Service as part of a documentary we were involved in.
Any information or books by Dr Gillian Harris or Dr Liz Shea are highly recommended.

This book is dedicated to our daughter

https://www.amazon.co.uk/Autistic-Teens-Avoidant-Eating-Workbook/dp/1787758591

PicaK · 22/09/2026 19:05

Just keep her eating.
Think of her food purely in terms of carbs, protein, fats, vitamins etc rather than ag a chicken nugget.
Think about their intake on a rolling 2 week basis.
Tomato ketchup has a lot in it. Let them have a lot if they want.
Ignore everyone with their fussy eating tips. Smile and wave.
Keep going to the specialists cos understanding is so much better than it was 17 years ago. Mine is slowly coming out of it.

EverydayProfessional · 22/09/2026 19:30

Newchangee · 22/09/2026 18:12

My 11 year old daughter has AFRID which is basically an eating problem where she only eats certain foods and gets upset even looking at foods not on her safe list. I am fed up of the NHS. They have done nothing to help her, they keep asking for forms and then do nothing. The mental health practitioner has told me he can tell she has ADHD and Austism but does nothing to address her eating. I’m fed up.

I saw on social media a hypnotherapist who specialises in this but I’m worried as DH is saying no as it will mess her up, I’m so lost. Her life is already impacted as she doesn’t get invited to things as she will get upset seeing certain foods (pizza, ketchup, any sauce of any kind). She eats only plain pasta, plain rice, fridge raiders, crisps and biscuits. Sometimes toast with tiny bit of butter.

Foods are also relevant to ADHD and Autism in some cases as they over activate or excessively numb the sensory agitation. Maybe this could be the reason that they are working on ADHD and Autism first rather than the eating issue as that is attached to the other issues.

DreamieWhat · 22/09/2026 19:31

My DD is 17yo and its worse than ever with her.
She was diagnosed at an ARFID clinic within a CAMHs building. I thought we would get help but the diagnosis was all we got, no help. She had 2 x 1hr meetings about nutrition and 'chaining safe foods'.

That was years ago.

She eats like 3 meals on rotation now. All takeaway meals so its painfully expensive. Plus if 1 little thing is wrong with it, she won't touch it. So full pizza won't get ate (by her, someone else will but then she is left with no tea)

Its so tiring.

Looloolullabelle · 22/09/2026 19:33

My DS was great as a baby but then as a toddler just started rejecting everything. It was very stressful.
Hes 12 now and is gradually becoming open to trying new things. He wont eat veg or potatoes but pasta, rice, meat, some fruit are on the cards. He’s much better than he was.

DD however has gone the opposite way, she was a fab eater but the last year or so she’s a bloody nightmare and I’m pulling my hair out. She won’t eat meat, veg. She just wants the carbs, chips, rice, potatoes and pasta. She’s driving me batty but it’s not worth the arguments.

PotatoesAreLife · 22/09/2026 19:34

Please research the hypnotist you’re looking at. If it’s David Kilmiurry he’s a scammer.

PeasePuddingPottage · 22/09/2026 20:04

As an adult with Arfid. I promise it can get better. But it's a painful slow process. My advice seperate plates for everything to try. A new food tiny tiny portion put it on a seperate plate not touching. Even of they smell it or get used to the look. Embrace what what they do eat. I was fascinated by cooking (never ate it) but if they cook it just say woo. It sounds stupid. But it can work.

seahorsessky · 22/09/2026 20:19

I think a friend has this but never got any help, and I'm really sorry you feel that too. Are there any online support groups?

BlueSodaPop · 22/09/2026 20:42

My son now 22 had a couple of things he would eat. Baked beans, cheddar cheese and bread. Sometimes chicken goujons. I cant tell you how much I worried about him
Doctors were useless and I spent years in tears and stressed.
Slowly he started trying things, the more I pushed the less he tried. Try something similar on a separate plate so if she likes toast and crisps maybe a plain cracker.
If she likes pasta maybe plain spaghetti.
Don't try to get nutritious food into her which is what I did, just try for variety.
Today he ate porridge, tuna wrap for lunch and a pepperoni pizza.
Still no vegetables or fruit though!

Phineyj · 22/09/2026 20:52

If she does have ADHD/ASD/both then her hunger signals may be missing (interception). DD has that issue. Getting her interested in cooking has helped a bit, as has seeing a nutritionist with experience of neurodiversity. I actually had her try a Libre monitor for a week last summer and it did seem to help her understand blood sugar a bit.

Have you looked at the resources on the Beat website?

Phineyj · 22/09/2026 20:52

Interoception

dreamingofgoodhair · 22/09/2026 21:04

Isittimeformynapyet · 22/09/2026 18:44

I think it's called ARFID rather than AFRID.

It is yes.

drspouse · 22/09/2026 21:09

I have no experience of this approach for ARFID but it's had some preliminary success and for us it was game changing for anxiety (DS spent one summer fighting us if we even suggested going out of the house). Ignore the title, just read the description.

amzn.eu/d/05qgKZil

DidAnyoneSeeMyGlassess · 23/09/2026 07:23

Hypnotherapy for ARFID is unlikely to help, especially from someone advertising on SM.

Is she supported with autism and ADHD? If she's stressed, this will make eating worse. If she's underweight and losing weight, talk to GP. If weight is stable, let her eat what feels safe, don't overfocus on meals, food, what she 'should' be eating.

Any food is good food here.

Nightmanagerfan · 23/09/2026 08:25

My son was under the dietician and feeding psychologist at the Evelina in London for two years and they were enormously helpful. Even now i can call any time and a dietician willl call me back within 24 hours. This service sits in the allergy clinic so I expect it’s not available to all, but they were a lifesaver. My son doesn’t necessarily eat many more foods, but we got such good advice on nutrition, how to avoid them losing a safe food (called food jagging), and it gave us confidence and the ability to know what was worth worrying about and what wasn’t. I can send more info if helpful

Whatafustercluck · 23/09/2026 08:27

Have you looked at Beat for support, op? Their helpline is 0808 801 0677.

With ARFID, you need to work out what's driving it - is it sensory, fear of aversive consequences (such as choking), or low interest in eating, or a combination? Because the strategy may vary depending on what is driving it.

Overall goal is to protect the foods that can be tolerated by making mealtimes as low pressure as possible. Don't make eating additional food the immediate goal. You could try building a 'food ladder' out of one food she'll eat. So, instead of chicken nugget - broccoli, try:

Specific brand of nugget - different shape of same nugget - homemade breadcrumbed chicken - chicken goujon - plain chicken - chicken with a very mild sauce. The change should be tiny enough that it doesn't feel like a completely new food.

You could also start with trying to get your dd just to tolerate having a different food near her (next to her plate for example), then on her plate but in a separate dish etc.

Good luck op. My 9yo dd has autism and has ARFID like behaviours. On holiday, if she has little access to the foods she has at home, then she barely eats for two weeks (and going out for meals as a family revolves around finding something, anything, that she will tolerate - even just a bread roll). At the moment though, her variety of food is actually quite broad at home (think 'fussy' as opposed to truly restrictive) and she's healthy, right weight, growing etc. We're always on the alert though for the list of foods diminishing, as we know this is a real risk.

Good luck.

Mummybassist · 24/09/2026 11:01

Nightmanagerfan · 23/09/2026 08:25

My son was under the dietician and feeding psychologist at the Evelina in London for two years and they were enormously helpful. Even now i can call any time and a dietician willl call me back within 24 hours. This service sits in the allergy clinic so I expect it’s not available to all, but they were a lifesaver. My son doesn’t necessarily eat many more foods, but we got such good advice on nutrition, how to avoid them losing a safe food (called food jagging), and it gave us confidence and the ability to know what was worth worrying about and what wasn’t. I can send more info if helpful

We are waiting on a referal to the Evelina or GOSH for arfid diagnosis, how long did it take to get in there? Our local services are useless and we have zero help. My boy is on a liquid only diet and not gaining weight, its so scary.

Nightmanagerfan · 24/09/2026 11:47

Mummybassist · 24/09/2026 11:01

We are waiting on a referal to the Evelina or GOSH for arfid diagnosis, how long did it take to get in there? Our local services are useless and we have zero help. My boy is on a liquid only diet and not gaining weight, its so scary.

Hard to say as he was under the allergy clinic from 9
months old and as he got older and the issues worsened they recommended we see the psychology team as well as the dieticians. I can’t fault them -
the service has been excellent, but I know they are overrun.