Partner’s daughter calling ex’s partner dad

He spends considerably more time either his daughter than her mum does. Work it out properly.

Really nothing to do with you. This is for your bf to manage without your input. If child has had this father figure from 2. Your bf a weekend dad. Work it out

So do step mums but they get roasted if they dare to want to go to sports days or graduations, never mind be called mum

Then I’d just put it down to the child being confused about the male influences in her life and assume she’ll grow out of it.
I would leave well alone, not get upset by it, and get on with my life.

Learn your grammar; it’s important. The phrase ‘when the child was born’ is a modifier for ‘where they lived’ meaning the town they lived in when the child was born (geography), NOT she moved when the child was born (time).

OP was correct in her sentence, you have misunderstood.

Learn to use punctuation then because you said

she actually moved an hour away from where they lived when the child was born to be closer to her parents.

That reads she moved away when the child was born to be closer to her parents.

Instead she moved when the child was two because she needed support from her parents.

How long have YOU been in this little girl's life? Less than 3 years but you live with him and therefore his child every weekend, are you jealous?

Depends on whether it's his daughter's choice or she's being encouraged to do so. She was also 2 when they split up, so presumably has little memory of life before. My stepdaughters were older when dh and his ex split up and they were both encouraged to call the new partner daddy almost from the word go, which was totally unacceptable but we could do little about. We tended to gently correct it when they were at ours by speaking to them about 'John' rather than daddy. They soon picked up that while at ours we called him 'John' but in their own home they called him what they were told to - that was an argument dh wasn't going to win. Youngest (now adult) stepdaughter still calls him John in our company. I don't know what she calls him to his face, but it's pretty irrelevant as he's now been such a big part of her life for so long. Dh has even said that when she gets married he'd be happy to share walking her down the aisle with John.

What does the child call your partner?

oh I see. You don’t like the narrative so you’re changing it based on… nothing. Gotcha.

Where in my post did I say she did? I have RTFT!

Mum sees her child so little that the child is calling her boyfriend, who doesn't live there, Dad. I doubt OPs being honest @Yodder that's why.

You seem to know a lot about what he did and didn’t do. That’s very impressive of you. He sees his daughter much more than her mother does during school term now. Why isn’t she stepping up and doing more? Why doesn’t she drive an hour and back at the weekend so she can see her child more?

@Annie890 said mum moved an hour away when baby was born. There's no way the father had a newborn 3 nights a week. Then she changed her story and said they split up when child was 2. Mum was there full time.

So since he lives an hour away now, HE moved or he was never there full time in the first place. He would have seen his daughter more if he hadn't, he even sent his girlfriend to mumsnet to ask questions instead of signing up himself.

If you think he does any of the Dr or dentist appointments or taking her to after school activities or now she's at school, parties at the weekends or play dates with her friends - unlikely she will even get to go as he's an hour away - you have a very rosy view.

ETA With regard to your ridiculous comment on bitter women, you have no idea of the situations of any of the women replying. FWIW There are no fathers involved for my boys. One couldn't possibly be.

The mum hasn’t been in her life full time since she they split. Mother of the year. Or is that different somehow? Please do elaborate how.

You can’t demand 50:50 while also screaming he doesn’t see her full time. That would require him to either have full custody or move back in with his ex. Which is it you’re angling for?

Mumsnet is SO bitter. Essentially, if you don’t stay living with the mother of your child you can do no right. This guy sees his child 3 nights out of 4. Would you like him to wake his daughter at 2am and return her on Monday night so he does exactly 50-50? Should he collect his daughter from school and make her drive an hour back to his every other day? Oh wait, he should move to wherever the ex decides to - should he do that continually if she moves again?

the ex is a part time mum, so really she should be getting the same flack about not ‘doing more’. OP should encourage the child to call her Mummy and all will be well.

Honestly, the hurt feelings of women whose ex partners had the audacity to not love them anymore is so palpable. They just want the fathers of their children to snap to their every whim and have no life of their own after a break up. It’s so sad and childish.

But does he spend lots of time with her? Something 1:1, take care of her and love her?

She doesn’t live with him! This has been covered. The man is her mother’s non cohabiting boyfriend.

Depends.

My friends eldest is not her long term partners child but she calls him daddy. He IS daddy, he loves her, cares for her, does pick ups and drop off, attends school plays, kisses her better when she's hurt. She chose to call him daddy.

Her biological father (who she's sees every other weekend and twice in the week) absolutely hates it, tells her off for it, insists she calls him "Paul". Child has now learnt that a) she can't be honest and open when with her father, b) her father is more concerned with his own feelings that her being cared for and looked after, and c) to call daddy 'Paul' when with her father.

She isn't confused, she knows her father is her dad and she knows daddy loves her and takes care of her. She knows she isn't biologically related to daddy in the same way her siblings is.

Kids don't get confused about the things adults think they will. Just like kids very quickly learn they can behave one way at school, a different way with grandparents and a different way with parents. They adapt very easily.

So the child was 1 or 2 when her parents split? It’s hardly surprising she calls the new partner dad. She has been in his life for longer than she has been without him. I think in this situation it’s natural to call them both dad.

Yep.

I find this very wrong, the mother should be correcting the daughter .
We have friend whose girlfriend had a son, once when I went to visit I notice the child was calling him dad, I was horrified. They stayed together for about 3 years and then broke up.
I still think about that poor boy, does he have a new daddy now, are all his mother's boyfriends going to be his daddy?

That’s interesting. I wonder how bio mom would feel if the shoe was on the other foot?

for my 2 cents worth, if the other gent was a permanent fixture in her life I wouldn’t mind Dad Dave or whatever his name is, but bio Dad being active in her life then is still Dad.

im not too keen on multiple ‘uncles’ flirting in and out of a child’s life portrayed as a parental figure though.