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AIBU?

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Original poster

AIBU to ask our neighbour not to put baby in front of TV while she babysits?

203 replies

Ellie126 · 22/09/2026 08:54

It’s our wedding anniversary and I’ll little one will be 7 months. Our good neighbour (who is also a friend, she’s a Nana so has baby experience) has very kindly offered to look after him for a couple hours whilst we go out for lunch. It’s the first time leaving him as a couple.

Me and my husband avoid ‘screens’ unless it’s a quick FaceTime with family. When I go round for a coffee she has a TV in the kitchen that he naturally loves the lights and always looks at. She has a bigger TV in the lounge and because she knows he’s drawn to it I wonder she might plonk him in front of the TV for the 2 hours we are away. My parents didn’t think twice about it when they were here with us but ofc they’re my parents so I said ‘no screens because XYZ’ which they were baffled at because they didn’t do that with me but they respected it. But because she’s a friend and a neighbour NOT family I don’t think I have grounds to ask.

  1. is there likely to be any damage done if she does plonk him in front of the TV? I think I might be unnecessarily anxious about it (first time Mum here!) but obviously since the 60s babies have probably been around TV’s and they’re fine.
  2. Is it unreasonable and complete helicopter parent of me to mention that we’d prefer it if he didn’t watch the TV and give her some books / I’ll make some purées to entertain him with instead?
  3. if you think it’s fine to mention - how would you politely and diplomatically approach it? I guess I would just give the toys etc and say ‘he loves these’

part of me thinks it’s cheeky / absurd to mention it - just wondered what other people think.

Thank you:)

OP posts:
Original poster
Ellie126 · 22/09/2026 09:17

truepenguin · 22/09/2026 09:15

I mean you do you. If you don't think you will feel comfortable, then don't leave him. Sure he won't implode if he is stuck in front of the TV for a couple of hours BUT you are right to be wary of screens in general. Your observation that 'obviously since the 60s babies have probably been around TV’s and they’re fine.' is like comparing apples and pears. The slow TV of the 1960s, mainly in b&w with far fewer TVs in homes and gaps during the day where nothing was on, cannot be compared to the fast-paced technicolour frenetic onslaught of today's visual output.

Thank you! This is generally what I thought. I’m glad that I’m not completely bonkers being wary of screens. She is a great person and he will be SAFE which is the main thing

OP posts:
Original poster
Ellie126 · 22/09/2026 09:15

Laiste · 22/09/2026 09:09

I'm sure she won't literally put him in his chair 2 inches from the screen for 2 hours. The telly may well be on while he's round there for those 2 hours though .... And that's fine. She's not parenting him, she's keeping him safe for 2 hours for you.

Im sure the day will come when you and your partner have the tv on for long enough to watch a film while your kid is in the room before he's 18?

Sorry to take the piss a bit 😊 But yes you're being OTT.

Edited

No you’re right!! We are first time parents so we are definitely being OTT. I know that… we would love to watch TV and haven’t done so since he became ‘aware’ but yes, hopefully there will be a day where we can watch The Chase again 🤣

OP posts:
truepenguin · 22/09/2026 09:15

I mean you do you. If you don't think you will feel comfortable, then don't leave him. Sure he won't implode if he is stuck in front of the TV for a couple of hours BUT you are right to be wary of screens in general. Your observation that 'obviously since the 60s babies have probably been around TV’s and they’re fine.' is like comparing apples and pears. The slow TV of the 1960s, mainly in b&w with far fewer TVs in homes and gaps during the day where nothing was on, cannot be compared to the fast-paced technicolour frenetic onslaught of today's visual output.

Original poster
Ellie126 · 22/09/2026 09:12

runnerducky · 22/09/2026 09:07

I’m interested though, what do you genuinely think is the risk in a 7mo lying in front of a TV for an hour or so? Like what do you think will happen in that time? What do you think the impact will be? Sometimes talking this stuff through helps us realise when we are being illogical.

Haha you’re right! Typing it out makes me feel crazy but the fear is ADHD or being exposed to ‘brain rot’. Yeah, crazy!! Of course long time exposure is probably not great but as others have said, even if she DID (which there’s no guarantee or evidence to suggest she will)… it’s such a small time of his life. I don’t remember what I was doing at 7 months!

OP posts:
Piglet89 · 22/09/2026 09:11

If you’re getting free childcare (and that includes from your parents) you don’t dictate the terms. Pay if you want to dictate what people do.

Laiste · 22/09/2026 09:09

I'm sure she won't literally put him in his chair 2 inches from the screen for 2 hours. The telly may well be on while he's round there for those 2 hours though .... And that's fine. She's not parenting him, she's keeping him safe for 2 hours for you.

Im sure the day will come when you and your partner have the tv on for long enough to watch a film while your kid is in the room before he's 18?

Sorry to take the piss a bit 😊 But yes you're being OTT.

dizzydizzydizzy · 22/09/2026 09:09

YABU. I agree with the general principal of not relying on screens but it is not what happens over one lunchtime that matters, it is the long term trend that matters. Relax, enjoy your lunch and thank your kind neighbour gratefully.

Ipsevenenabibas · 22/09/2026 09:08

You are absolutely correct to recognise it is an unreasonable request.

hididdlyho · 22/09/2026 09:07

I think it would be rude to ask, given she's kindly doing you a favour. If you were paying a professional, then you can stipulate no screens etc. The suggestion of packing a few favourite toys and books with him is a good idea.

Original poster
Ellie126 · 22/09/2026 09:07

DisplayPurposesOnly · 22/09/2026 09:05

It's two hours - unclench!

By all means take books, toys, food. That's thoughtful. You can say, I brought these to help, this is what he's used to. You can say we dont really use the TV with him. You cant say she cant put the TV on in her own house for the two hours she's doing you a massive favour.

No I totally agree!! My gut thinks it’s ridiculous. As I say I’m a first time Mum, so just wanted to get some general concensus. Thanks all. I will not mention it and am grateful for the very kind help she’s offered :)

OP posts:
runnerducky · 22/09/2026 09:07

I’m interested though, what do you genuinely think is the risk in a 7mo lying in front of a TV for an hour or so? Like what do you think will happen in that time? What do you think the impact will be? Sometimes talking this stuff through helps us realise when we are being illogical.

StormGazing · 22/09/2026 09:07

Surely this isn’t a serious post!? If it is then be grateful your child is being looked after so you’re able to go out with your husband. Your child will be fine

VintagedWell · 22/09/2026 09:07

Do not mention this! It will not harm him, but could harm your relationship with your neighbour and future babysitting offers.

DisplayPurposesOnly · 22/09/2026 09:05

It's two hours - unclench!

By all means take books, toys, food. That's thoughtful. You can say, I brought these to help, this is what he's used to. You can say we dont really use the TV with him. You cant say she cant put the TV on in her own house for the two hours she's doing you a massive favour.

runnerducky · 22/09/2026 09:04

You need to unclench a bit I think! Two hours of TV in someone else’s home as a one-off will make zero difference and he’s seven months, he’s hardly going to be properly watching it. It’s very kind of her to look after him. Don’t mention it, you either trust her to look after him or you don’t.

Iocanepowder · 22/09/2026 09:04

Hey op, i think you’re being over anxious.

I had my first mat leave in lockdown. No way was I not going to have tv on while I had to stay at home all day with a baby.

Your baby will be absolutely fine. You’re very lucky to be able to get a babysitter.

WingnutSOS · 22/09/2026 09:03

Totally absurd. Gratefully take the 2 hours of babysitting and realise screen time won’t do any harm for that small small period of his life - and that’s assuming he is parked in front of it for the while time, which is probably unlikely.

You are being handed a big old favour here, by a nice person. Take it with good grace and don’t impose conditions.

enjoy the time out!

Leopardspota · 22/09/2026 09:03

At that age my daughter wasn’t really interested in tv anyway, she’d definitely
not sit and stare at it. I always put the chase on at tea time for me to watch and she just carried on rolling around on her mat. Honestly you have nothing to worry about, try to relax.

wouldntyouwanthelp · 22/09/2026 09:03

you could always pay for child care not sure why you think she should swap tv for food as that’s weird

Chunkybabythighs · 22/09/2026 09:02

For a start you don't know she will?!
And I'd think you were rude AF in you came in with demands for the sake of 2 hours. Baby isn't going to become a crack head cos they watched TV for an hour. Go enjoy yourself and your husband

lazyarse123 · 22/09/2026 09:02

Smartiepants79 · 22/09/2026 08:59

It’s 2 hours in his whole life. He will survive. Even if that’s what she’s doing. Which you don’t actually know that she will. For 2 hours I would be expecting her to just enjoy being with him.
He’s not going to be damaged.
She’s doing you a favour, just let her get on with it.

Exactly this. He's just watching the lights and movements he's not going to get addicted.

Figgygal · 22/09/2026 09:02

You're being utterly ridiculous
If you want help again I'd Keep quiet per pay for childcare
Your baby isn't going to be harmed from occasional screen time

Goldengirl123 · 22/09/2026 09:02

You are being absolutely ridiculous

LetMeGoogleThat · 22/09/2026 09:01

Oh dear! Your baby will be absolutely fine with a screen, and you are being over the top considering asking. Kindly, I think you need to chill out....assuming this is your fist??

Bitsostuff · 22/09/2026 09:00

As she's only having him for a couple of hours I think its fine to request "no screens" but no, if it came to it, it won't hurt him.