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AIBU?

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Original poster

AIBU to ask our neighbour not to put baby in front of TV while she babysits?

203 replies

Ellie126 · 22/09/2026 08:54

It’s our wedding anniversary and I’ll little one will be 7 months. Our good neighbour (who is also a friend, she’s a Nana so has baby experience) has very kindly offered to look after him for a couple hours whilst we go out for lunch. It’s the first time leaving him as a couple.

Me and my husband avoid ‘screens’ unless it’s a quick FaceTime with family. When I go round for a coffee she has a TV in the kitchen that he naturally loves the lights and always looks at. She has a bigger TV in the lounge and because she knows he’s drawn to it I wonder she might plonk him in front of the TV for the 2 hours we are away. My parents didn’t think twice about it when they were here with us but ofc they’re my parents so I said ‘no screens because XYZ’ which they were baffled at because they didn’t do that with me but they respected it. But because she’s a friend and a neighbour NOT family I don’t think I have grounds to ask.

  1. is there likely to be any damage done if she does plonk him in front of the TV? I think I might be unnecessarily anxious about it (first time Mum here!) but obviously since the 60s babies have probably been around TV’s and they’re fine.
  2. Is it unreasonable and complete helicopter parent of me to mention that we’d prefer it if he didn’t watch the TV and give her some books / I’ll make some purées to entertain him with instead?
  3. if you think it’s fine to mention - how would you politely and diplomatically approach it? I guess I would just give the toys etc and say ‘he loves these’

part of me thinks it’s cheeky / absurd to mention it - just wondered what other people think.

Thank you:)

OP posts:
Original poster
Ellie126 · 22/09/2026 10:28

Dollymylove · 22/09/2026 10:26

Never look.a gift horse in the mouth, especially when you are getting FREE childcare.
I'm guessing this is your first baby. By the time you get to 2nd or 3rd, the TV will be on all day 🤣

Oh I’m sure! Thank you to everyone who replied with good advice. Husband and I will enjoy our lunch knowing our baby is in very safe & loving hands. Thanks!

OP posts:
Dollymylove · 22/09/2026 10:26

Never look.a gift horse in the mouth, especially when you are getting FREE childcare.
I'm guessing this is your first baby. By the time you get to 2nd or 3rd, the TV will be on all day 🤣

Moulook31 · 22/09/2026 10:26

Goldengirl123 · 22/09/2026 09:02

You are being absolutely ridiculous

This!

Ag52q · 22/09/2026 10:23

PinkyFlamingo · 22/09/2026 10:14

don't know why you're being called ridiculous, unhinged, told to get a grip etc, for some people it's natural to worry and overthink this stuff, especially with a first baby.

Because it's not nornal to think watching TV,even 24 hours a day would cause ADHD that's why. Being a first time parent isnt an excuse either.

I reckon saying ADHD isn't caused by screens, and even expanding on the matter if posters wanted to, would have been more helpful than calling her ridiculous and unhinged while she's worrying.

I think being a first time parent is an excuse to overthink some things and not being informed about others, until you're made aware. There's lots of misinformation out there unfortunately.

theneighbourgotmycake · 22/09/2026 10:23

Awkwardisfunny · 22/09/2026 10:14

You dictate what you want for your child. Why would anyone be offended or upset at being provided with entertainment options (toys) and informed how you want your child cared for? Or was the offer: "I can help but only if I can dictate how to look after your child".

Just say it super casually, along with providing emergency contact info: here are our numbers and general info: we don't allow screens for our baby so here are his play things, if he cries, we find what works is... No rant about screens needed!

Show quote history

how rude

Of course you don't "dictate" anything when you ask for a free favour.
If you have the slightest worry it's unsafe for your baby, you don't leave them there , it's ok to be unhappy with a dog, a cat or a even a toddler in the house and not want them near your baby. Nothing in itself is unreasonable.

I never let my own kids in front of a screen until they started school but I would never had said anything when someone had the tv on when we visited! They were mesmerised 😂

2 hours in front of the screen to keep your baby safe is absolutely fine, give the toys, give the food, but chill

we don't allow screens for our baby great, but either keep your baby or pay someone to follow your instructions.

MagicalMystical · 22/09/2026 10:20

truepenguin · 22/09/2026 10:08

But, just to give you a bit of back-up, when I look after my friend's dog I want it to have a comfortable, stress free time with me, plus I want to care for it like I know my mate does. So I ask, what's the routine? What would you prefer me to do and not do? And that's a dog! If I were looking after your baby I would want to know the same -routine/dos and don'ts. I would not think you odd at all if you gave me lots of books and said 'this is what he likes to do'. This is your most precious being you are trusting me with. Why would I mind if you were a little prescriptive?

This is exactly my view too. I love that you are trying to be as conscious as you can about bringing up your child. If I looked after your child, I wouldn’t bat an eyelid if you said ‘we’re trying to hold off on screens as long as we can so here are the books and toys he likes’. I would respect your parenting choices, even if they didn’t align with my own (they do align, and hats off to you for resisting screens for as long as you can).

Yupstillhere · 22/09/2026 10:20

Purees wouldn't entertain him for a few hours. You should drop him off fed and easy care. TV won't hurt him. Why not pack a few books or toys. So long as he doesn't come back with a cigarette in his mouth and a Pot Noodle under his arm he'll be fine. She's an expert, he'll be fine.
Be appreciative of him being in good hands and enjoy your anniversary.

Original poster
Ellie126 · 22/09/2026 10:19

PinkyFlamingo · 22/09/2026 10:14

don't know why you're being called ridiculous, unhinged, told to get a grip etc, for some people it's natural to worry and overthink this stuff, especially with a first baby.

Because it's not nornal to think watching TV,even 24 hours a day would cause ADHD that's why. Being a first time parent isnt an excuse either.

I was actually lightly just answering a question where someone asked what I was worried about. And in my answer I acknowledged that it was OTT but higher screen exposure IS associated with more ADHD symptoms in children. There is evidence to suggest (not proven) increased risk / association so It’s not completely crazy. Yes, one time isn’t going to hurt realistically and I already acknowledged I was just an anxious mother in a previous post. No need to be rude. I was just seeking advice!

OP posts:
laurini · 22/09/2026 10:18

Goldengirl123 · 22/09/2026 09:02

You are being absolutely ridiculous

Given research recently said that ZERO screentime is ideal for children under 2, she isnt being ridiculous at all. I with the advice here that not saying anything is the right call but she isn't being crazy to be worried about this.

Dumbo12 · 22/09/2026 10:14

I hope your neighbour isn't on mumsnet, because of it were me, I would withdraw my kind offer of babysitting, if i had read how damaging you thought I would be to the child@

Awkwardisfunny · 22/09/2026 10:14

Ellie126 · 22/09/2026 08:54

It’s our wedding anniversary and I’ll little one will be 7 months. Our good neighbour (who is also a friend, she’s a Nana so has baby experience) has very kindly offered to look after him for a couple hours whilst we go out for lunch. It’s the first time leaving him as a couple.

Me and my husband avoid ‘screens’ unless it’s a quick FaceTime with family. When I go round for a coffee she has a TV in the kitchen that he naturally loves the lights and always looks at. She has a bigger TV in the lounge and because she knows he’s drawn to it I wonder she might plonk him in front of the TV for the 2 hours we are away. My parents didn’t think twice about it when they were here with us but ofc they’re my parents so I said ‘no screens because XYZ’ which they were baffled at because they didn’t do that with me but they respected it. But because she’s a friend and a neighbour NOT family I don’t think I have grounds to ask.

  1. is there likely to be any damage done if she does plonk him in front of the TV? I think I might be unnecessarily anxious about it (first time Mum here!) but obviously since the 60s babies have probably been around TV’s and they’re fine.
  2. Is it unreasonable and complete helicopter parent of me to mention that we’d prefer it if he didn’t watch the TV and give her some books / I’ll make some purées to entertain him with instead?
  3. if you think it’s fine to mention - how would you politely and diplomatically approach it? I guess I would just give the toys etc and say ‘he loves these’

part of me thinks it’s cheeky / absurd to mention it - just wondered what other people think.

Thank you:)

You dictate what you want for your child. Why would anyone be offended or upset at being provided with entertainment options (toys) and informed how you want your child cared for? Or was the offer: "I can help but only if I can dictate how to look after your child".

Just say it super casually, along with providing emergency contact info: here are our numbers and general info: we don't allow screens for our baby so here are his play things, if he cries, we find what works is... No rant about screens needed!

PinkyFlamingo · 22/09/2026 10:14

don't know why you're being called ridiculous, unhinged, told to get a grip etc, for some people it's natural to worry and overthink this stuff, especially with a first baby.

Because it's not nornal to think watching TV,even 24 hours a day would cause ADHD that's why. Being a first time parent isnt an excuse either.

Original poster
Ellie126 · 22/09/2026 10:13

Ag52q · 22/09/2026 10:09

I don't know why you're being called ridiculous, unhinged, told to get a grip etc, for some people it's natural to worry and overthink this stuff, especially with a first baby.

I have 3 kids, and with my first I was definitely overthinking everything. It's much easier parenting the next ones once you gain some perspective. The first time is more stressful, so give yourself some grace. Also although we have 3 kids, we still do no screen time for baby, and only a weekend show/movie for our 2 older kids.

You're right that the guidelines that came out say 0 screen time at that age, so it's not crazy to be mindful of it, but also you could try to put it in perspective that it's only 2 hours one time, and the guidelines are probably because of babies being plonked in front of TV loads daily and missing important social interactions, floor play etc, not because of a one off.

Personally I wouldn't say anything since it isn't a permanent arrangement (although I also wouldn't be thrilled about it, I'd keep it to myself). It's a lovely thing she's offered! I think no matter how you mention it, it would sound ungrateful/rude.

For a 7 month old 2 hours is nearly a whole wake window, could baby be having a nap while you're out? If it's not during his nap time, I would just pack a couple of small toys/books and leave them there for them, so they could play even if TV was on in the background.

It's great you get some time with your husband, hope you have a lovely time!

I know! I was just asking for a bit of advice and the answers are kind’ve what I already knew - that it would be poor form to even mention it! Thank you so much

OP posts:
PinkyFlamingo · 22/09/2026 10:11

You are being completely ridiculous. Wtf kind of "damage" do you worry will occur? ADHD? Have you got major anxiety problems? God help you as they grow up. If you don't trust her don't say yes to the free babysitting.

Ag52q · 22/09/2026 10:09

I don't know why you're being called ridiculous, unhinged, told to get a grip etc, for some people it's natural to worry and overthink this stuff, especially with a first baby.

I have 3 kids, and with my first I was definitely overthinking everything. It's much easier parenting the next ones once you gain some perspective. The first time is more stressful, so give yourself some grace. Also although we have 3 kids, we still do no screen time for baby, and only a weekend show/movie for our 2 older kids.

You're right that the guidelines that came out say 0 screen time at that age, so it's not crazy to be mindful of it, but also you could try to put it in perspective that it's only 2 hours one time, and the guidelines are probably because of babies being plonked in front of TV loads daily and missing important social interactions, floor play etc, not because of a one off.

Personally I wouldn't say anything since it isn't a permanent arrangement (although I also wouldn't be thrilled about it, I'd keep it to myself). It's a lovely thing she's offered! I think no matter how you mention it, it would sound ungrateful/rude.

For a 7 month old 2 hours is nearly a whole wake window, could baby be having a nap while you're out? If it's not during his nap time, I would just pack a couple of small toys/books and leave them there for them, so they could play even if TV was on in the background.

It's great you get some time with your husband, hope you have a lovely time!

theleafandnotthetree · 22/09/2026 10:09

Mumofoneandone · 22/09/2026 09:55

So much research around now about how harmful screens are to children. I think there is a recommendation of none under 2 years old. Whilst 2 hours might not harm him, it's not great for him either and you really don't want a cranky baby if he reacts to the light and movement, particularly if it's a huge screen!
Provide alternatives for your son and say to her that you don't do screens with your son. It then means you set up the 'rules' for her if she's likely to look after your son again in the future.

You sound as ridiculous as the OP.

truepenguin · 22/09/2026 10:08

But, just to give you a bit of back-up, when I look after my friend's dog I want it to have a comfortable, stress free time with me, plus I want to care for it like I know my mate does. So I ask, what's the routine? What would you prefer me to do and not do? And that's a dog! If I were looking after your baby I would want to know the same -routine/dos and don'ts. I would not think you odd at all if you gave me lots of books and said 'this is what he likes to do'. This is your most precious being you are trusting me with. Why would I mind if you were a little prescriptive?

theleafandnotthetree · 22/09/2026 10:07

Castletickedoff · 22/09/2026 09:30

I think it’s a bit mean to call OP ridiculous, she’s a first time mum and just worrying!

If it was a regular arrangement I would mention something but as a one off I wouldn’t say anything, a one off won’t hurt. Enjoy your break OP!

I am so over this 'first time mum' bullshit. Everyone in the history of humanity who had children was by definition at one point, a first time mum. Doesn't give a free pass for some of the kind of rude, neurotic and frankly batshit behaviour sometimes described here. OP is clearly being utterly ridiculous and precious here.

Harrysmummy246 · 22/09/2026 10:07

Ellie126 · 22/09/2026 08:54

It’s our wedding anniversary and I’ll little one will be 7 months. Our good neighbour (who is also a friend, she’s a Nana so has baby experience) has very kindly offered to look after him for a couple hours whilst we go out for lunch. It’s the first time leaving him as a couple.

Me and my husband avoid ‘screens’ unless it’s a quick FaceTime with family. When I go round for a coffee she has a TV in the kitchen that he naturally loves the lights and always looks at. She has a bigger TV in the lounge and because she knows he’s drawn to it I wonder she might plonk him in front of the TV for the 2 hours we are away. My parents didn’t think twice about it when they were here with us but ofc they’re my parents so I said ‘no screens because XYZ’ which they were baffled at because they didn’t do that with me but they respected it. But because she’s a friend and a neighbour NOT family I don’t think I have grounds to ask.

  1. is there likely to be any damage done if she does plonk him in front of the TV? I think I might be unnecessarily anxious about it (first time Mum here!) but obviously since the 60s babies have probably been around TV’s and they’re fine.
  2. Is it unreasonable and complete helicopter parent of me to mention that we’d prefer it if he didn’t watch the TV and give her some books / I’ll make some purées to entertain him with instead?
  3. if you think it’s fine to mention - how would you politely and diplomatically approach it? I guess I would just give the toys etc and say ‘he loves these’

part of me thinks it’s cheeky / absurd to mention it - just wondered what other people think.

Thank you:)

It's a one off allowing you to go out. Don't be so bloody PFB

Viviennemary · 22/09/2026 10:05

I think that would be incredibly cheeky and ungrateful. If you're worried that she won't look after your baby properly then don't accept the free baby sitting.

Change2banon · 22/09/2026 10:02

Ellie126 · 22/09/2026 09:12

Haha you’re right! Typing it out makes me feel crazy but the fear is ADHD or being exposed to ‘brain rot’. Yeah, crazy!! Of course long time exposure is probably not great but as others have said, even if she DID (which there’s no guarantee or evidence to suggest she will)… it’s such a small time of his life. I don’t remember what I was doing at 7 months!

Show quote history

You think watching tv at 7 months old causes adhd?? 🤦‍♀️ Please educate yourself in that respect. Then enjoy your 2 hour break, be thankful you have a lovely neighbour and friend. Then chill with your lovely baby 💙

namechange62 · 22/09/2026 10:00

My kids were 90s kids and TV was routinely used in our house. (And all my friends houses too) Especially wet cold winter days.. and they lead normal healthy outdoor sporty lives as adults. I think the difference is they didn't have handheld screens and it was all age appropriate programs.

Doubtingdebs · 22/09/2026 10:00

Wow to the ADHD from tv!! OP like most people say, you can mention it but it’s rather a large assumption about what she will do and if it were me looking after a baby I would not be using a tv to entertain a child but equally I’d be very offended if you assumed that I would.
I’d be telling you my genuine offer to help was rescinded and I might point you to some medical literature about ADHD while I was at it.

tipsyraven · 22/09/2026 09:58

Goldengirl123 · 22/09/2026 09:02

You are being absolutely ridiculous

This.

OneBiccieTwoBiccie · 22/09/2026 09:57

I had horrendous post partum anxiety with my second born, and stayed home far more than I did with DC1 so I watched a lot of TV because it helped my anxiety reset, nothing wild just things like Below Deck or Made in Chelsea. But I was convinced I couldn't leave any grown up shows on once he was about 6 months old because I didn't know what his little brain could actually retain.
He watches absolutely drivel on TV now and my days of watching TV are long gone.

Having someone you trust who is happy to look after DC is far more important than the hour or two of TV he might see but it's easy to get wrapped up in the worry.