AIBU to ask our neighbour not to put baby in front of TV while she babysits?

I babysit for a couple of families

one doesn't have a tv in their lounge and we sit and play - the small children and me. We play with all sorts of toys and its great

in the other family the children are on screens all day long, they are not allowed outside.

different families have different ideas of how they want to live their lives - neither is wrong

I would say - tell your neighbour your dd is allowed 20 minutes of tv if she really can't entertain her and has come to the end of the plot for keeping her occupied

that way its less likely to be the full 2 hours of sat with the tv and it sets out how you don't like screen time. Take lots of toys that she loves and a pram so neighbour can take her for a walk

Then next time she will either not offer to babysit or know what the crack is

I'm gonna go with absurd. 😂 Its 2hrs, he won't go blind

I think you need to put down the how to parent books and stop believing every article you read on the internet tbh.
The best thing you can give your child is happy, relaxed parents.
Your baby will be fine. This is not an everyday occurrence. Enjoy your lunch.

I veered from being relentless in avoiding screens to worrying she was missing out as I didn't have colours floating past and classical music playing to educate her! I never had a second so I don't know if I'd have relaxed more but I can tell you she's almost 18 and I still doubt myself and my parenting. Enjoy your lunch.

I think you need to focus on howto manage any real emergency! Does she have car seat to get him to hospital and is it suitable? Unless they’re literally round the corner….
focus on something worth worrying about

I don’t understand where first time parents get all this nonsense from?! Stupid social media videos have filled your heads with rubbish I bet. People go on about how they don’t have a village.. and THIS is why. 2 hours in front of a TV is NOT going to do any damage ffs you surely know this!!

I completely understand where you're coming from, but I do think in this case you shouldn't say anything. In terms of TV, children's programmes today are far worse for developing brains that when I was a child (80s/90s) because they're so fast-paced and should definitely be avoided. But if your neighbour does have the tv on, I'm sure it's more likely to be 'daytime tv' which isn't as bad.

I highly recommend the book Baby Unplugged by Sophie Brickman - very interesting and honestly something I'd recommend to all parents.

kindly, he’s 7 months old. He won’t even watch it for that long even if it’s on. I spend most of my mat leaves with the tv on whilst the babies played on the mats in the same room. Kept me sane!

If I’d kindly offered to babysit for someone on your position and you told/asked me this, it would be the last time I helped out.
You just cannot be so rude and ungrateful.
(not that I would put the tv on but even so).

I don't think I was rude at all. If people pander to your anxiety well that's not going to be helpful either.

How much are you paying her?

If you want to be that strict you will need to pay well above the going rate .

What's going to happen if a baby is exposed to TV for a couple of hours?

ADHD isn't something that just develops, your baby either already has it or doesn't. Screen time link is just whether or not it can exacerbate symptoms in an ADHD brain. At that age your baby probably is not going to be remotely interested in the tv anyway and as you've agreed, two hours isn't going to have an impact anyway.

By the time you get to 2nd or 3rd, the TV will be on all day 🤣

I don't agree with that either. A bit of screen in moderation is fine, they need their computer for homework from primary school, but most kids don't even have time to watch tv during the week or even weekend during the school year.

I think if you ask her not to, you can potentially kiss goodbye to future babysitting from her. If you really want to go out, and you trust her, just go! 2 hours of tv will do zero damage. And in the meantime - find someone else to babysit if you are not happy with her and the tv.

OP, I'm not going to get right into this topic, but please read up on ADHD. It's highly genetic/ brain led. I have 3 DC: DS1 is NT, DS2 has ADHD (ex-H definitely the source, he got the gene, DS1 missed it).

DS3 is ADHD & autistic - he's complex as he has a rare form of epilepsy which was congenital, the genetic tests have shown no connection to either parent. We are both NT, but they 99% say his ND comes from the brain damage.

It may be exacerbated by screens, but isn't caused by it. All 3 of my children had very little screen time when little- zero effect on their NT/ND status.

Dear OP,
I was absolutely the same as you when DD was tiny. Kindly, and with all respect, try to let go of the need to manage and control your little ones time away from you.
You trust the person you are leaving him with, so try to let it be and permit your brain a rest. Let the time you've been gifted be a gentle thing with no extra stress or anxiety invented and subsequently attached to it.
So much easier said than done, but you can't pour from an empty cup, and if you can get into the habit of letting some things go and some worries pass unchecked (and this is a great example of one that you definitely can file under "not a real problem"), your motherhood journey will be so much easier for all of you in the long run.
Have a wonderful time with your partner and enjoy your anniversary lunch ❤️

This can't be real, can it?
😂

It's not ridiculous to worry and you shouldn't feel bad for just wanting the best for him 💐

When DD4 was little i would have the telly on, but quite low volume (subtitles on) and have her facing away. Once she was old enough to walk (9 months god help us!) i would then restrict what was on and the amount of time it was on because she would just sit down and watch!

However as long as i k we there wouldnt be anything horrible on the screen if have been ok with 2 hours while a babysitter did their helping.

I think it’s more the assumption she’s going to put your baby in front of the tv for 2 hours because you’ve noticed she has the tv on in her house 🫣 I would find that a bit insulting lol.
When I had a newborn I read about how you were meant to keep rooms dark at nighttime (also my partner and his family kept mentioning it). It was the only time I would get to watch tv in peace in 5 years 🤣 but at first I was too anxious to do it so I do get the ftm
anxiety.

You’re being completely ridiculous.

If it's any reassurance to you, OP, my youngest (of five) used to get parked in front of Teletubbies regularly, just so I could get stuff done (I was home edding her eldest sister whose poor health meant she had considerable time off school and negotiating her pre-school sister and toddler brother). So I was BUSY and didn't interact with her as much as I wanted to.

She's now 30, very bright, employed and a house owner and shows no sign of TV addiction or a desire to own a Noo-Noo.

Please don't worry.

Depends if you want her to babysit for you again in the future.

You surely can’t be serious? This place is more bonkers by the hour.

I totally got where you were coming from. Honestly sometimes I laugh when I think of the stuff I used to worry about with my first, but it couldn't be helped at the time!

Hopefully some of the nicer comments you got helped easing your worries!

Enjoy your precious free time!

I'm the slackest parent in the world, and did put my kids in front of age appropriate TV when they were little. Usually when I was trying to get a cuppa or tidy the kitchen or something if I had them all day. This was before the screen time was bad days
I doubt very much though that someone who was looking after your little one for a couple of hours would do this. They are more likely to enjoy having your little one to play with especially if they love babies.
So I actually doubt they would be plonked in front of the TV for full time you are away. Think you are worrying unnecessarily. Enjoy your time off x