AIBU to ask our neighbour not to put baby in front of TV while she babysits?

^This!

Is this a joke post?

You absolutely have the right to set out any boundaries for how you would like anyone to look after your child. They also have the right to say they’d rather not look after your child, based on what those boundaries are and how they would effect the planned interactions or restrict the babysitter.

Two hours screen time is not going to harm your baby long term. You can still prefer it not to happen and mention it in advance. You can be very polite and say ‘we prefer baby not to have any screen so would you be ok doing other activities and explain the things you have prepared’ and see what she says. That would be my suggestion if it’s important to you and it’s likely she may babysit again in future - start as you mean to go on.

If this is truly a one off babysitting situation and you would rather avoid potential awkwardness, I’d honestly let it slide. She may not use the tv and if she does, it won’t really matter anyway being a one off.

ADHD is not caused by TV. It's something you're born with. Most kids I knew with it wouldn't sit still to watch TV.

TV is soooooooooooooo different from the screens on our phones and tablets. For babies and toddlers, the screens they need to be kept away from are those intense screens.

On television, high quality children's TV is crafted to support their development and to be an experience that you share and engage in. You sing along, the characters ask you to answer back, they do crafts and recipes to copy at home, they look at literacy and numeracy. Good quality children's TV (I'm thinking of CBeebies) is so incredibly researched into how children communicate and develop speech and language, it's slower paced, the music is plinky plonky, they use repetition and pattern.

This is the opposite of the YouTube slop.

If I babysit my nephews for a few hours we will always do something fun and constructive because I can give them all my energy for that time. If it were my own children, yes they watched TV for a bit while I did a chore or we sat down together for a half hour with a drink and a snack after a busy physical day.

I hate and I do judge parents who ram a screen in front of a baby or toddler in situations where they could be engaging with the world around them. I know where the screen fear comes from. My kids didn't use them because the older ones were around before the technology was there and with my youngest we just didn't use them because it wasn't our norm. I NEVER EVER EVER let my kids have my phone. I see parents let their children take their phones ALL THE BLOODY TIME to watch videos or use apps and it's crazy to me! This expensive bit of kit with most of my life on it?! No, that's MY phone so it stays in MY pocket or bag. Boundaries.

Also, this is 2 hours. 2 hours, it's nothing.

He's 7 months old, even as a TV using mum that's waaaay too young to have left him in a room on his own watching the big screen in the corner of the room. Mine were around a telly at that age but not really actively WATCHING it. Breastfeeding while watching Countdown? Sure, I don't know what damage would've been done to their brains then.

Final thing, this is a kind favour from your neighbour. One thing about other people looking after your child is that you've got to trust them. From your description she knows what she's doing and they'll have a lovely time together.

I hope you have a fabulous time out together as a couple!

I have 2 grandchildren age between 1 and 2. Neither would actually sit still and look at a tv for anywhere near 2 hours

You're being dramatic!

If baby lives to 90, that's over quarter of a million hours to get through, do you really think 2 of those in front of a TV is a big deal?

But, chances are she'll spend 2 hours fussing over him like most people when left alone with a borrowed baby!

No , its absolutely not fine to mention..!!!! But it is absolutely fine to disconnect the tv in some way ,while you are out. Or make up some excuse that she cannot, under any circumstances, switch it on. Its not Rocket science.

I think this is absolutely fine to do yourself. If someone is doing you the favour of babysitting you do need to bend a bit sometime. She’s not going to plonk a 7mo in front of Bluey but she’s perfectly ok to have the TV on herself for the evening if she wishes.

Don't mention it. Appreciate the free babysitting.

This is what I was going to say! Xx

One thing I have learnt as a mum is if you need a babysitter, you have to just let them get on with it (unless it’s a genuine safety concern and if so don’t ask them again!)

If my dad babysits, there will inevitably be a few episodes of In the Night Garden or Postman Pat on. It’s a compromise to get a night off.

Well done on sticking to your principles so far but it’s ok to bend a bit on occasion. Just like if 2nd comes along, they will inevitably be exposed to a bit more screen time due to older one wanting to watch.

Geez, spot the first time mum. My sibling did this and now her children are addicted to TV. Complete backfire which is kinda funny now.

But in response to questions, my responses would be....

1. is there likely to be any damage done if she does plonk him in front of the TV? I think I might be unnecessarily anxious about it (first time Mum here!) but obviously since the 60s babies have probably been around TV’s and they’re fine. No why would there be? This is ridiculously catastrophising for not reason.
2. Is it unreasonable and complete helicopter parent of me to mention that we’d prefer it if he didn’t watch the TV and give her some books / I’ll make some purées to entertain him with instead? Yes unreasonable. They are doing you a favour.
3. if you think it’s fine to mention - how would you politely and diplomatically approach it? I guess I would just give the toys etc and say ‘he loves these’ You don't. You don't know they are going to plonk your child down - people do know how to look after children without screens

If I were your neighbour I’d be hurt and put out if I knew you’d assumed I’d be plonking the baby in front of the TV! This is different from potentially raising an issue because you know the baby had screen time the entire time they were with a babysitter and that person is going to be a regular sitter- you’d be right to raise it. But in this instance you don’t even know that’s what she’ll do!
Send a few of baby’s favourite toys if you like and even make some suggestions of things they like to do. That’s all.

If I was looking after a friend’s child for a couple of hours and was told basically to not have my own tv on as to follow her ‘rules’ so to speak , I wouldn’t have them again .

My TV is on in the background all day. My kids have done pretty much all milestones early and have absolutely 0 signs of ADHD.

I live alone and have mine on for company. Even if it is on, doesn't mean she is not interacting with bubs, it's back ground noise.

You're not watching TV at home because you're scared that it will give you a 7 month old baby ADHD? I think you need to consider whether you're having some sort of anxiety.

He will survive some TV!!!
If he will be safe with her then I really wouldn't say anything.

You can watch it. It’s hard work looking after a baby! Chill out a bit! :)

Oh give over

She's doing you a favour don't be so precious

If your ndn is like me she won't be able to work your tv.
Honestly everytime I visit my adult dc i have to get them to show me how to work the TV because they have streaming services and no normal tv as I call it. 😅

Wow I think Op is getting a hard time here!

I agree with her about the screen time. The NHS website and WHO website says no screen time before 2 because 80-90% of brain development happens before this age. With my 3 month old he babbles away in his moses basket the moment he locks onto the TV he goes silent and zones out. I hate it.

" Excessive or passive TV viewing is linked to delayed language skills, weaker social-emotional development, and disrupted sleep. Rather than screens directly causing clinical conditions like ADHD early exposure is linked to an increase in ADHD-like symptoms such as inattention and impulsivity. "
"Landmark longitudinal tracking published in JAMA Pediatrics used brain EEGs on toddlers. Researchers found that for every hour increase in average screen time at 12 months, toddlers showed altered brain wave activity at 18 months, which correlated with greater difficulties in attention and executive functioning later in childhood" - this was from a research study.

So yes 2 hours might not harm her baby but she has every right to be conscious of screen time and this makes her a great parent for questioning things and trying to do what's best for her child. Like we all do. She doesn't need to follow the crowd and be belittled because of it.

this type of advice oh back in my day was the same reason women smoked while pregnant, people don't vaccinate, people ignored post natal depression etc. It's ok that things and advice changes in line with research doesn't make Op ridiculous for looking into it.

You don’t catch ADHD off the telly. Is that what you think happened to those of us parenting ADHD offspring?