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Original poster

AIBU to ask our neighbour not to put baby in front of TV while she babysits?

203 replies

Ellie126 · 22/09/2026 08:54

It’s our wedding anniversary and I’ll little one will be 7 months. Our good neighbour (who is also a friend, she’s a Nana so has baby experience) has very kindly offered to look after him for a couple hours whilst we go out for lunch. It’s the first time leaving him as a couple.

Me and my husband avoid ‘screens’ unless it’s a quick FaceTime with family. When I go round for a coffee she has a TV in the kitchen that he naturally loves the lights and always looks at. She has a bigger TV in the lounge and because she knows he’s drawn to it I wonder she might plonk him in front of the TV for the 2 hours we are away. My parents didn’t think twice about it when they were here with us but ofc they’re my parents so I said ‘no screens because XYZ’ which they were baffled at because they didn’t do that with me but they respected it. But because she’s a friend and a neighbour NOT family I don’t think I have grounds to ask.

  1. is there likely to be any damage done if she does plonk him in front of the TV? I think I might be unnecessarily anxious about it (first time Mum here!) but obviously since the 60s babies have probably been around TV’s and they’re fine.
  2. Is it unreasonable and complete helicopter parent of me to mention that we’d prefer it if he didn’t watch the TV and give her some books / I’ll make some purées to entertain him with instead?
  3. if you think it’s fine to mention - how would you politely and diplomatically approach it? I guess I would just give the toys etc and say ‘he loves these’

part of me thinks it’s cheeky / absurd to mention it - just wondered what other people think.

Thank you:)

OP posts:
maxslice · 22/09/2026 18:38

Smartiepants79 · 22/09/2026 08:59

It’s 2 hours in his whole life. He will survive. Even if that’s what she’s doing. Which you don’t actually know that she will. For 2 hours I would be expecting her to just enjoy being with him.
He’s not going to be damaged.
She’s doing you a favour, just let her get on with it.

I agree. And even she babysits again, it would only be for a couple of hours or so. He spends the majority of time in your care. It truly won’t make much of an impact. Relax and enjoy your time out as a couple.

TeethAreImportant · 22/09/2026 17:23

Ellie126 · 22/09/2026 08:54

It’s our wedding anniversary and I’ll little one will be 7 months. Our good neighbour (who is also a friend, she’s a Nana so has baby experience) has very kindly offered to look after him for a couple hours whilst we go out for lunch. It’s the first time leaving him as a couple.

Me and my husband avoid ‘screens’ unless it’s a quick FaceTime with family. When I go round for a coffee she has a TV in the kitchen that he naturally loves the lights and always looks at. She has a bigger TV in the lounge and because she knows he’s drawn to it I wonder she might plonk him in front of the TV for the 2 hours we are away. My parents didn’t think twice about it when they were here with us but ofc they’re my parents so I said ‘no screens because XYZ’ which they were baffled at because they didn’t do that with me but they respected it. But because she’s a friend and a neighbour NOT family I don’t think I have grounds to ask.

  1. is there likely to be any damage done if she does plonk him in front of the TV? I think I might be unnecessarily anxious about it (first time Mum here!) but obviously since the 60s babies have probably been around TV’s and they’re fine.
  2. Is it unreasonable and complete helicopter parent of me to mention that we’d prefer it if he didn’t watch the TV and give her some books / I’ll make some purées to entertain him with instead?
  3. if you think it’s fine to mention - how would you politely and diplomatically approach it? I guess I would just give the toys etc and say ‘he loves these’

part of me thinks it’s cheeky / absurd to mention it - just wondered what other people think.

Thank you:)

If you want for her to never offer to babysit ever again, go right ahead.

ginasevern · 22/09/2026 17:18

@Ellie126 It's extremely kind of your neighbour to babysit and you should be biting her hand off for the offer, not flagging up trivia like this. Even if she did plonk him in front of the TV for the whole 2 hours (which is unlikely) what do you honestly think is going to happen to him? Respectfully OP, get a grip.

everynamewastaken · 22/09/2026 17:04

At 7 months, he'll be absolutely fine. I was an anxious mum and insisted on no screen time but when you look into what's damaging (short, on demand videos and children just watching alone with no engagement from a real person) we now do have some screen time (3.5 year old) but always things we have chosen and watch as a family with a very active narrative from myself! But for this scenario with your neighbour, my mum who's probably a similar age Nana never even thinks about putting the TV on for my little one. I'm always amazed how she can spend all day just playing when it's not 'her job' - i think it's because she would have done this with us too when we were little because kids tv would have only been on at certain times. We were highly addicted to neighbours from a young age though if you can consider that damaging 😅 But I wouldn't assume your friend / neighbour would put them in front of the tv and, if she does, honestly do not stress at all. They won't get addicted from one day.

Instructions · 22/09/2026 16:53
  1. No damage will be done
  2. You would be unreasonable
  3. There is no way to say any what you're thinking of saying without sounding rude and as if you think your neighbour is ignorant and lazy

If it matters that much to you that your child not look at a screen (it shouldn't), pay for a babysitter and leave instructions with them accordingly.

3ciLop · 22/09/2026 16:52

Ellie126 · 22/09/2026 08:54

It’s our wedding anniversary and I’ll little one will be 7 months. Our good neighbour (who is also a friend, she’s a Nana so has baby experience) has very kindly offered to look after him for a couple hours whilst we go out for lunch. It’s the first time leaving him as a couple.

Me and my husband avoid ‘screens’ unless it’s a quick FaceTime with family. When I go round for a coffee she has a TV in the kitchen that he naturally loves the lights and always looks at. She has a bigger TV in the lounge and because she knows he’s drawn to it I wonder she might plonk him in front of the TV for the 2 hours we are away. My parents didn’t think twice about it when they were here with us but ofc they’re my parents so I said ‘no screens because XYZ’ which they were baffled at because they didn’t do that with me but they respected it. But because she’s a friend and a neighbour NOT family I don’t think I have grounds to ask.

  1. is there likely to be any damage done if she does plonk him in front of the TV? I think I might be unnecessarily anxious about it (first time Mum here!) but obviously since the 60s babies have probably been around TV’s and they’re fine.
  2. Is it unreasonable and complete helicopter parent of me to mention that we’d prefer it if he didn’t watch the TV and give her some books / I’ll make some purées to entertain him with instead?
  3. if you think it’s fine to mention - how would you politely and diplomatically approach it? I guess I would just give the toys etc and say ‘he loves these’

part of me thinks it’s cheeky / absurd to mention it - just wondered what other people think.

Thank you:)

Dear God! Just go and have a nice lunch! Leave the Saint of a neighbour to look after the baby her way, or she may not do it ever again!

Bargarran · 22/09/2026 16:48

This whole thread's surreal. If I was the neighbour, I'd tell the OP to do one because I've never heard so much nonsense in all my life...😂

Grumpyoldcat · 22/09/2026 16:44

I wish my kids actually watched TV instead of their phones so I wouldnt worry.

HappyWelsh · 22/09/2026 16:42

Your baby will be fine.

Damage to the baby for 2 hours of TV? This is wild OP. My children were around screens, and each of them are incredibly intelligent, not addicted to screens of any kind. My children range from 2 - 18years old. The TV is mostly on in the background but my 2 year old isn’t interested in the slightest, he plays constantly with his toys and with us. We are mindful over what is on the TV making sure it’s child appropriate whilst he’s awake, because they do pick up things even if they aren’t paying attention. Honestly, you don’t have to worry. When we are out as a family, not one of my children have any devices apart from the odd photo.

A bit of screen time won’t hurt here and there, just don’t introduce an IPad, I’m sure that’s where the bulk of today’s problems sit.

MyCrushWithEyeliner · 22/09/2026 16:24

‘What is a red top? A republican?’ 🤨

holdthelineboat · 22/09/2026 16:18

Jesus you’re in for a wild ride. Parenting is going to be hell for you. Wait to you find out they have iPads in primary schools, the school lunch is not organic, one of the mums from school painted her living room and their child was in the house with all those paint fumes, Jessica’s dad didn’t start doing phonics with his child until reception and the real icing on the cake is that johns parents are divorced. Please op get a grip

Babyboomtastic · 22/09/2026 16:14

thestudio · 22/09/2026 15:12

He will survive! But if you want to keep it to a minimum, I would tell her that you've found that TV overstimulates him because he starts screaming after about 30 minutes and won't be calmed down.

Bet the dancing fruit would 😜

🍓🍌🍒🍉🍎

Londonrach1 · 22/09/2026 16:13

Don't let her babysit if you that uptight about it. It's just two hours.

walrushurricane · 22/09/2026 16:13

I very much doubt they will watch it for long and not at all unless they put on something aimed at babies. I certainly won't harm them. I used to think a bit if tv was quite educational when my now adult children were that age.

Dfgggtt · 22/09/2026 16:12

Ellie126 · 22/09/2026 13:13

What is a red top? A republican? Not quite - we’re certainly not liberal and I actually don’t have any social media ie instagram or facebook and absolutely not TikTok so I’m not getting misinformation from that. My husbands father is a neurosurgeon and also agrees that children under 2 should avoid screens.

every parent is different - my question was more focussed on whether it was absurd to mention it politely to my neighbour but my instinct was right - I’m very grateful for her to offer and so yes, common sense is that even if she did ‘plonk’ him in front of the TV for 2 hours. He won’t combust. But she likely won’t anyway.

Show quote history

The issue is, you are born with ADHD. Sitting a child in front of a tv for two hours isn't going to lead to your child having ADHD. That comment is quite insulting.

Xanhi · 22/09/2026 16:10

Ellie126 · 22/09/2026 09:12

Haha you’re right! Typing it out makes me feel crazy but the fear is ADHD or being exposed to ‘brain rot’. Yeah, crazy!! Of course long time exposure is probably not great but as others have said, even if she DID (which there’s no guarantee or evidence to suggest she will)… it’s such a small time of his life. I don’t remember what I was doing at 7 months!

Show quote history

You have been exposed to too much brain rot if you think ADHD is caused by screens.

CaptainMyCaptain · 22/09/2026 16:02

thestudio · 22/09/2026 15:32

I don't want her to, no. But it wouldn't be the end of the world, unless you are a Robespierre or a Calvin or similar.

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It just doesn't sound like a nice thing to do. The TV doesn't make OP's child scream as the neighbour would discover if she put the TV on anyway.

It's immaterial anyhow as the OP has accepted she was BU.

montysmaw · 22/09/2026 15:58

It is indeed cheeky /absurd. If you say anything she will probably never babysit again. Actually if you are this precious, you will quickly find that nobody will baby sit for you. Ever.

wildnwilde · 22/09/2026 15:46

Yeah it's cheeky and ridiculous. It's 2 hours . This lady is giving you and your partner so time to relax . Your baby will be fine for 2 hours even if he watches the TV 😱

thestudio · 22/09/2026 15:32

CaptainMyCaptain · 22/09/2026 15:28

You want the OP to lie to a helpful neighbour?

Show quote history

I don't want her to, no. But it wouldn't be the end of the world, unless you are a Robespierre or a Calvin or similar.

CaptainMyCaptain · 22/09/2026 15:28

thestudio · 22/09/2026 15:12

He will survive! But if you want to keep it to a minimum, I would tell her that you've found that TV overstimulates him because he starts screaming after about 30 minutes and won't be calmed down.

You want the OP to lie to a helpful neighbour?

MyPurpleHeart · 22/09/2026 15:21

Free childcare in the form of a favour where the child is going to be looked after, fed, changed, monitored and unharmed? Yes you're being very unreasonable.

Might I suggest you put your hand in your pocket for a nanny

MyGallbladderIsAFucker · 22/09/2026 15:15

Lol,
You wait another year.

thestudio · 22/09/2026 15:12

He will survive! But if you want to keep it to a minimum, I would tell her that you've found that TV overstimulates him because he starts screaming after about 30 minutes and won't be calmed down.

BobMumBobIsMyDog · 22/09/2026 15:07

I don't have a TV, and still wouldn't mind if the sitter did this. Think how amazing it is that a lovely neighbour, who you trust, has offered to mind your baby.
Being able to trust someone (that's not family) with your PFB is priceless. Don't ruin the experience for you, the sitter and your child by patronising your neighbour.

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