AIBU to feel lonely at 50 and struggle to make friends?

I was going to reel of a list of ideas to meet people and make friends, the main one would have been the gym.

What strikes me in your responses though is that you seem to be lacking in energy and motivation. I think many women of our age write of lack of energy as being typical for this stage of life, but I don't think that's true at all. I go to the gym 4 times a week, and currently on a walking holiday averaging 15 miles a day. I do trips like this most months, plus socialise with others 3-4 times per week.

It sounds counterintuitive, but once you start doing more, you have more energy and motivation. Also, book a GP appointment to look at of the tiredness has a medical foundation.

Do you have a dog? That's another great way to get active and make friends.

I am 50 and regularly.meet new people doing my hobbies (gym, travel, walking etc). It takes time to build a friendship though, and my newer friends have all been gradually after repeatedly meeting them doing a shared hobby/interest.

Plan things in as well sit with your calendar, and look at booking different things in over the next few months. It will also give you something to look forward to.

Have you heard of Empty Chair? It is a new thing, but basically it's meeting up in a pub.

No need to get bogged down in do gooding! (And I say what as a charity trustee..)

I’m over 50. I work ft and volunteer with girlguiding plus Slimming world and Trefoil guild (its a bit like WI but guiding)

Why are you looking specifically for 50+ groups? You can make friends with anyone of any age. Check facebook and see if there is a local social group in your area. I moved around a lot and every town I've lived in had one.
When I move, the first thing I do is to look for an activity I am interested in. I don't check what age it is for. I join a crossfit gym (ok, I know it's niche but just as an example), maybe a dance studio. Joining a gym won't be any good because people go their individually to do their own thing but some kind of an active club for Saturday morning might be nice. Like a walking group?
Essentially, you need to get out of the house more. There is no other way. And don't go looking for friends specifically. Just some people to give you a sense of belonging.

Do you work or have you ever worked? I’d have to get a job if I were in that position, if not paid then a voluntary one at a charity shop!

What about a sports or social club? My mum appeared to be quite lonely but started an Aqua aerobics class twice a week and now she has a better social life than me at 74. Also I really don’t think 50 is old at all you have bundles of time to try new things. Push yourself out of your comfort zone just one day at a time. Say yes to everything be open minded x

I’m the same age as you but had kids later in life so I’m still dealing with hardcore parenting duties!

I feel your pain though. Losing a best friend is unfortunate - don’t give up, it could just be a phase whilst she is busy.

I know you said you dislike exercise but can I recommend a few things?
Look for a (not too tiring) community yoga class which is really welcoming to beginners and often free or very cheap pay as you go. Where I live there are lots! Also look out for aqua aerobics - attracts a slightly older crowd but very cheerful.

Looking further afield, our local political party has a lot of sociable activities.

Or, You might also find a small theatre-going group - that would be fun to join albeit a bit expensive.

Finally definitely think about a choir or an orchestra if you have any musical aptitude or skill.

https://nwr.org.uk/

What do you enjoy doing enough to want to do it even when you’re tired? That’s your answer. Find a way of doing it with other people who are equally enthused . And if your DH works all day Saturday, you have that time to do activities, too, if weeknights are too tiring.

I’m 54 and moved countries a few years ago, to somewhere I knew no one. I met people through work, DS’s friends’ parents, by joining a choir and a writing group, volunteering with an environmental charity, and just some random stuff like meeting people at a film festival or an art gallery or at an opera relay.

Have you looked into HRT for menopause?.

Do you have a dog ? Getting out for walks and chatting to other dog owners is a good way to meet people.

edited to say: sorry just noticed your post saying you work long hours.

WI is great, look around for local groups because they vary in what they do. You can usually attend as a visitor to get a feel for it before deciding to join, but it doesn’t have to be the one nearest to you.
Volunteering is a great way to meet people, as are all the other suggestions above - join a choir, try bell ringing, do an evening class. Is there a local Arts Society? Could you do a workshop at a weekend on something that you would like to try?

The point is, you have to get out there and meet people, they’re not going to come and knock on your door. You need to find something that you feel committed to, in order to go out and do it, is there something you’ve always wanted to learn? What sort of hobbies or interests did you have before you had your children? It doesn’t happen overnight, but having moved twice to a completely different town where I knew only one person, it can be done.

I think if you address your health issues and look at what’s making you so tired, you would feel better about things. Even working long hours, you shouldn’t be feeling so drained. Are you on HRT?

The W.I is great

I’m in the same boat. I was just thinking the other day of how I used to have friends and a social life, and how the vagaries of life have changed that.

there is a group in Scotland called Fab Women over fifty on Facebook, people meet for coffees, etc might be worth a look?

Look at groups of all ages centred around your interests and you'll find something to enable you to meet people. I've lived on my own for the last 20 or so years and I've found it worked for me.

Gym, sports clubs and volunteering, either with Guides or Scouts or similar

You could try joining a gym, there’s a lot of female only now. They have so many different classes . Then you start with something in common . Or ask around for darts teams for ladies darts. What area you in?

I’m the same in my 50s no friends left. I have joined the WI so that’s a start but apart from that I have no suggestions. My DP works away a lot , usually a fortnight of each month, so when he’s gone it’s just myself, the rescue pets and my adult DC coming and going. I get very lonely.

I joined a choir and a small ladies walking group, they have social outings, sometimes they go away on short breaks

Think about what you are interested in and try to join groups or socialise around your interests, this is the best way to start getting out and meeting people

Also try the Nextdoor app, introduc yourself in there locally, ask if there are any ladies groups you can join or start one yourself.

Sorry you feel like this. If it's any consolation I think many of us feel similar. Family life and work and chores take over and before you know it you're a bit of an island!

I would keep looking for local sports or clubs. Don't necessarily look for 'over 50s' either. I joined a choir and started a martial arts class, all ages and walks of life. Or volunteer. So many organisations would love your free time and with that comes all kinds of possibilities for making connections and brightening up your social life. I am always amazed with the people who volunteer with the scouts and girl guides (my kids attend). They seem to be a merry band and are always up to something and welcoming of new people.
I'd say don't overthink it, and just keep getting out there and doing something. The numbers game means you'll click with someone eventually. Good luck! X

Well you read, so one obvious option is to join a book club. You'll probably find one that meets one evening at a local pub. Probably a group of varied women, some of whom maybe your type and therefore, potential friends.

Get volunteering.