AIBU to consider another kitten while our older cat is settling?

6 replies

Jopo12 · 21/09/2026 21:43

Should we get another kitten?

We have an 11 year old cat who has always been an only cat. I have always had 2 cats before as it's better than they have company of we are out or away. But DH said no to a second when we adopted her aged 4 months.

However We adopted a kitten in May, a really boisterous confident male. We love him, he loves us, but he has become very territorial at home and in the garden.

With lots of intervention he is attacking the older cat much less and they can both sleep in the living room with us in the evenings, and at night we shut one of them in a room to protect the other. But they are getting on better over time and I'm sure eventually they will stop scrapping

However, we now want to adopt the kitten's half sibling. The older cat is 7 months old, the new one is 9-10 weeks. There is a limited window to adopt as the owner wants to re-home all the kittens.

I don't want the older cat to be miserable forever, and she is my main concern, as the kittens are young enough to adapt to each other. But ultimately when the older cat does I don't want the younger cat to be alone.

The older cat has a bad back and is in 2 doses of gabapentin and 1 of metacam each day, so she likes a quiet life.

We have Feliway Friends plug in as of today and I always have a normal Feliway on the go. A big enough kitchen to feed 3 cats in different places, space for a third cat litter and enough bedrooms and sofas for them all to have their own spot. And enough money for food and healthcare. And great neighbours who feed them when we go away (they have 3 cats and fish and we reciprocate).

My 13 year old son is cat mad and would love another. despite all the things he doesn't do he can be relied on to feed them and scoop the cat litters and play with them.

Do you think we can make it work?
The older cat will have disruption for longer, but then it will settle.
Or should we wait 3 months, let the current 2 cats settle into an easy reduce then disrupt it with another kitten, which would be from a random cat.

YABU don't get another kitten yet

YANBU go for it now, sooner is better than later

OP posts:

Original poster

Jopo12 · 22/09/2026 18:54

Such a pity, I think you're all probably right.
My neighbour has 3 cats, all adopted from different places at different times. The newest is only a year old. They are indoor cats and all get on.

I was hoping we might be able to replicated what she's achieved, but one of hers is a super-chilled ragdoll so he and the junior cat get on alright with some playing.

The oldest cat just keeps away from them all.

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Flomingho · 22/09/2026 00:32

Too stressful for the older cat who needs a calm atmosphere at this stage on life. Our cat was 11 when our other cat of the sane age died and although we worried about him being lonely, he adapted over time and now 2 years on , he definately wouldn't tolerate a younger energetic cat disrupting his peace and quiet

OohOohOohWahAhh · 22/09/2026 00:11

I have 7. Had 9 until 2 losses last year. We’ve been lucky that our older ones have accepted the younger pairs in less than two weeks each time. However, the only one of mine that hasn’t fit in properly was an only. He’s 8 now and every other ones we’ve had in pairs. He has always been very different and it’s very clearly a result of him being a single, the difference in his functioning and behaviour has always been glaring but he has accepted the pairs of kittens several times over. I feel he’s been stunted by being a single. I wouldn’t recommend getting the half sibling. They’re already too far apart in age and it will stress your younger one out and your older even more. I had success pairing two kittens from different litters very young, as in ten weeks. Best friends within 24 hours, still the same three years later.
It should be a given that you take two on together where possible (with my single boy he was an only so not possible). Feliway is hit or miss. Not great in this situation.
Don’t disrupt the unhappy situation you’ve got even further. Prioritise your older. And your younger and neither of them being onlys are going to adjust well to a brand new only and it’s not fair on the new kitten either.

Wordsmithery · 21/09/2026 23:23

You must put your current cats' needs first. And your DS already has two cats to love and really doesn't need another.
Let your old cat age quietly. She doesn't need further stress beyond what she's faced from cat no. 2. There'll be plenty of time for more kittens in the future.

Original poster

Jopo12 · 21/09/2026 22:24

The mother is now neutered and won't be having any more

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Catza · 21/09/2026 22:12

I don't think you should be getting another kitten full stop. Your older cat is sick and needs a calm life. Just because they don't fight, doesn't mean she is happy with her space being invaded. She can't tell you that she is stressed, or fed up or doesn't like sharing her space with a young kitten. She may still have good 5-6 years of life. If not more. My cousin's cat was 22 when she died.
Let your cat live out her advanced years peacefully and then do whatever you want.
I totally get the desire to adopt another cat. I look at cat rescue sites daily but my existing cat is my absolute priority and cats are not pack animals and don't need company.

And I have something stronger to say about that woman who continues to let her cat get pregnant but I will bite my tongue.

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